I have a strong-willful-stubborn 7 year old daughter. What is the best way to discipline?

Question

She answers back, speaks nasty and then says "I'm sorry." I know I need to be consistent with discipline and follow thru with threats. But nothing seems to work. It does for awhile and then we are back to the bad behavior.

Answer 1

try a system of rewards and consequence.

Answer 2

Figure out what are meaningful punishments to her.  If it is loss of possessions then take them away.  If it's manual labor - thn get her a bucket of soapy water.  Also - on the reverse, reward her for showing the right types of behavior.  You said yourself to be consistent and follow through - so be sure you are.

Answer 3

Threats are not the way to go. I've learned about parenting with love and logic. Don't tolerate the way she speaks to you. Just tell her "I will talk to you when you calm down". Then walk away. When she's calm enough to talk, sit down together to figure out a punishment. Both of you can come up with ideas, and then choose the best one. Make sure it's something you can live with too.

Answer 4

If she is strong-willful-stubborn, I would think she's more than a challenge.

Taking things away from her will only give her more to challenge.  I have a 7 year old son just the same way you described without the "I'm sorry" part.

We've taken away privileges:  going outside, watching tv, took away his video game consoles, took away some outtings (movies, e.g.) until he learns to follow our rules.  I don't know what else to do w/ him.

My husband and I get so frustrated.  Two weeks ago, my husband gave him a butt whooping.  Guess what?  that didn't work either.  

My new approach is to just simply not pay any mind to him when he does things the wrong way.  Instead of repremanding him, I feel like we should try to look for more positive things and give him praises.  With this, maybe he'll be encouraged to make us proud and enjoy our outtings again.

It is very trying.  I know.  Didn't realize how hard it would be to be a parent until he hit six years old.

Answer 5

For speaking nasty and being disrespectful, after a warning a few firm smacks on her undies might be the right thing to do.  When she is "back to the bad behavior" you discipline again, and a little harder than the first time. At 7, she will learn before long.

Answer 6

take possessions away..thats what we do w/ our 7 year old and it works like a charm when we follow thru

Answer 7

You know you need to be consistent w/discipline so do it. Punish the first time everytime. No warnings, no bribes, no next time. If necessary take away her favorite things, throw them away if possible. You can always buy more barbies for example. If you really have to take away everything except her mattress and her clothes. The main thing is consistency.

Answer 8

My daughter is 5 and a half and has a problem with mouthyness (well not anymore).  I use soap.  When she would get mouthy she got one warning to watch it, if she didn't stop, she got a little soap in her mouth!  She rarely has a problem and all I have to do is mention the word soap when she gets attitude and she quickly changes her tone!

Good luck!

Answer 9

Consistancy.  She knows that eventually you will back down.

I find that a good swat and menial, manual labor does it, but most people will give me a thuimbs down for that.