I have a student that doesnt take responsibity for anything that he does?? How do i help him?

Question

I have a student that everything is everyone elses fault.. he drops something its not his fault.. he does something wrong , its noth is fault... He is 12 years old. I want to him know that he needs to learn how to take responsibilties for his actions. My classroom is a self contained classroom/ emotional behaviors.. What are some strategies, assignments, maybe a role play, what can i possibly do to help him????

Answer 1

Try looking at the situation from his point of view and try to see where he is coming from. How would you want to be dealt with?

But I would suggest giving him a little project. Maybe some small animal to take care of.

I'm sure you do admit when you make a mistake, but let him know when you do and that its ok. He might be afraid of doing something wrong so he will deny it.

Answer 2

It would be helpful to know what condition he has as there are a number of syndromes that cause children not to care about what they do or take responsibility for them. Some children especially those diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder and pathological demand avoidance will never take any responsibility for their actions and can become distressed and violent if these demands are placed on them. The best way to deal with these situations is to ignore the little things like if they drop something or knock something over as all you are doing is placing more stress on the child. The more stress you place on them the more they will react to the demands placed on them and the situation will quickly escalate out of control. When they don't take responsibility for things that really matter then you need to have a quiet and calm talk with them without directly accusing them of anything. Sometimes it is worth talking to the child before starting a task and explaining what you want of them and perhaps offering some sort of reward if they stay on task. These kinds of children thrive much better on praise and reward rather than confrontation and punishment.

Answer 3

I have a student like that too, it's a hard thing to deal with.  Of course you have to be consistent in reminding him why it's not someone else's fault when he was responsible.  Consequences for misbehavior also need to be consistent.  My student will tell us it's our fault he didn't get his work done and missed free time LOL  Role playing might work.  If he has any kind of point sheet I'd make sure to put "takes responsibility for own actions" as one of the areas where he earns points.  Good luck.

-S (Emotionally/Behaviorally disturbed teacher)

Answer 4

As a mother of one of these children I would approach with caution. First I would figure out why he does this. Perhaps he's afraid of getting in trouble. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't push to the point of a breakdown or meltdown. It's not worth the damage it does to the child. I do think a role play would work well but only when not done as a result of him saying something wasn't his fault. Maybe set a certain time of the day where just you and the child can play a game. You throw something and ask him who's fault it was. Then have him do the same. Repeat with as many things as you can think of.

I say approach with caution because I know that these classes usually contain more then just children with emotional behaviors. Some children have medical diagnosis that are complex and unless are known about and dealt with properly, things will just backfire and get worse. I have been fighting for my son to get out of his ED class for almost a year now.

Answer 5

I think the first idea about giving the him a project is a good one, but I wouldn't do it with a pet. That could be bad for the animal if he doesn't feed it. I would try it with a plant.

Another idea would be to set up a sheet with some goals and come up with a cheap reward system like stickers or stars for when he acheives them. Come up with small steps to reach the larger goal. When he consistently performs well on the one step, you can move to the next one. Fill out the sheet every day and keep them so he can see his progress. If he sees positive consequences for positive behavior that will help him start to see the cause an effect. (My mom does something like this with her developmentally disabled clients, but it can work for anybody.)

To address the negative behavior, you want him to start thinking "When I do 'x', the result is 'y'." Let's say he has be hitting another child, Jimmy. When he hits JImmy, Jimmy crieds, and he (your student) gets in trouble. At first  give you excuses and say it was provoked, but he still has to learn how to control his own behavior. Always have the same consequence for the negative behavior such as a time out, and enforce it consistently. Set up expectations so that the first time might be a warning, the second time might be a time out, and the third time could be a detention.

For a script you can ask him some leading questions, "Does Jimmy like being hit? What is the result when you hit Jimmy?" Then, think of some positive alternative to replace the negative behavior. For instance, if he hit Jimmy because Jimmy wasn't sharing, teach him to come to you first. Or, if the student tries to take soemthing from Jimmy without asking, teach him to ask first. Track those behaviors on the goal sheet as well, and eventually he will learn the reasoning skills for cause and effect and see the pay off.