Question:

I have a teenage daughter that refuses to stay home,wants to go to foster care,

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she sneakes out runs away sexually active and very disrespectfull to me do i let her go to foster care or continue the fight?

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  1. Do you beat her or do you treat her like shes a baby!!!!!!!!!!!! wow you must have done something wait is their a male in the house because probably the mann has touched her or raped her  


  2. i'd let her do what she wants for a while and see if she changes her mind about it like treat her like little miss princess and act completly different around her like if you are mean around her and dont let her do anything then be the opposit and let her do it all

    and get her half way to the foster care place and if she has any regretts just be like oh good i was just going to pick up ______ from the (store) idk ur choice

  3. Spend more time with her.  Take her out and do things together.  Show her some really scary and vivid photographs and descriptions of STD's and let her know what her odds are for acquiring one or two of them.  

  4. Of course you continue the fight. Your daughter doesn't understand the ramifications of foster care and it is your job to protect her while you can. It's an everyday struggle but eventually she'll come to realize why you cared.  

  5. go to a councilor. don't let her go to foster care, there is a good chance that she would get abused.

  6. You may not want to do this but you have to keep fighting because if you dont she will always feel she can win and has power over you. This is very dangerous because you Daughter can get STD's. Try to get on the Maury show they can help you

    good luck!!!

  7. i think wat u should do is just start to take control and let her know who's boss. maybe 1 day u could pull her too the side and talk to her and ask her wats really goin on u just have to talk to her we had that same problem with me brother he was a tennger thinkin he knew everything when he didnt and all my dad did was talk to him yea he had to disciplin he a couple times but now my brother is a great brother and great son hope my advice helps

    have a great day

    miran121 ^_^

  8. I wouldn't give up on her. What I advise you to do is call the police on her when she doesn't listen next time. Tell the police your problem and try to get her checked in at a psychiatric hospital. They will will try to make her change her ways and they may be successful in it. There not like the mental hospitals you see on tv. Its pretty much just groups that talk about there problems and try to find better ways to deal with them.

  9. Punish her. Tell her to quit her behavior instantly. Yell, scream. Do what you have to do. Save her before it's too late

  10. make her stay with some really really strict and

    that might show her that she might have a really good life.

    if she does, lol  

  11. Woe, that is terrible. I'd hate to have to raise a daughter like that. Im sorry to hear this. I would say send her where she wants to go but it would be just like your giving up your daughter. I dont know what to tell you.

  12. You need to tighten down on her but not to the extent that she thinks she can get way with murder, also check on her periodicaly during the night, and you may want to get gps navigation on her clothes, cell phone, or bracelet, and make sure she understands that her circumstances could be a lot worse, because not all foster parents care about their foster childeren, but you really need to supervise ehat she does, and may want to get her text message history, but dont go overboard otherwise you might lose her forever...

  13. Foster care will not help your daughter.

    Your best bet is to take her to a psychologist...assuming she is under the age of 18, she has no choice, so you can make her.

    On the outside, she might fight you and claim she doesn't need/want it. But in reality, all these things she is doing, is a subconcious cry for help,

    If you do this, you might be able to save her from becoming someone far worse than who she is now.

    Don't give up on your child.

  14. This really is a very personal question that only you can decide for your family. I would think what you can do really depends on how much time you can really afford to work on this. Unfortunately, teens today need supervision the way our 4 year olds did. The high cost of living in a free society is the opportunity to make mistakes and teens today are getting more and more a thrill of being able to make these mistakes by the ton load. We, the parents, are responsible but with the cost of living so high the choice in just how much supervision we can give our teens can really be decided on our workloads (my boss is not going to pay me my full time wage despite the fact I want to work part-time and work with my kid more) and family structure (more and more single parents are finding themselves having to leave their teens alone for longer and longer periods just to be able to pay the bills). Just because it is "legal" to leave teens for a full weekend doesn't mean it is "right". If you really want your daughter to stop this behavior, but her in your constant supervision. Parents today put alarms on doors and windows not just for intruders, but to keep their teens in! There are cheap and effect entry alarms that you can install yourself for nights (seriously, this helps keep them in). Remove any clothing that has pictures and/or phrases on it or at the very least anything that has band names or pictures of people. This is standard procedure in teen "half-way" homes and teen rehabilitation centers. If you know she is sexually active you would benefit greatly from putting her in a teen s*x ed clinic. They are offered through different organizations, planned parenthood might be a good place to start. If you ignore this, you will be the mother of another teenage mother out there. Driving her to and from school and even walking her to each of her classes will do wonders on her. It sounds like your teen has managed to get way too much power over her choices.

    If you simply can not spend the same amount of time supervising you teenager that you did when she was 4 or 5, foster care might be the choice for your family. No one on here can tell you what to do for your situation.  

  15. life isnt always greener on the other side. what u need to do is try to be her friend and do stuff that she likes doing- like shopping at the mall. EVERY girl loves doing that. or go see a movie. try doing positive things TOGETHER cuz yelling and hollering just aint workin. maybe it could work idk. but foster care aint the place.

  16. Call the alternative office (Ask the High School for the #) ; if she wont listen to you I'm pretty sure they have someone she will listen to. I don't know if they still have it, but like 16 years ago they had the scared straight program. They would bring "bad" kids around to jails and along with counseling... help them turn their life around. Worked for my brother. I hope this helps!

  17. 13 is a hard age, work with her school counselors and a psycholgist out of school...she must be having school problems, so they should have services to help.

    With out knowing why she wants to leave, it is important for you to stand firm in your rules as long as they are not harmful to her or anyone and you must be consistent.

    She needs to know you love her.  Her sexual behavior indicates she is looking for love ...she is probably also reacting to not having a father in her life.  Is she upset w/ the men you are seeing?  Maybe YOU should go to counseling to work through how to best deal with each situation, even if she won't go!

    Maybe allowing her to stay with a family member for weekends is one way to resolve some of the conflict while you work on the problems.

    GL


  18. Wow, you've got yourself a handful.  I know several people whose parent(s) gave up and let them go to foster care. In every single instance, they ended up hating their parent for doing so (felt betrayed and let down).  So, depending on what you can handle, I'd suggest try to stand your ground as a parent.  IF you've tried things on your own and you're still having problems with her behaviour, I think it's time to call in the experts - go to counseling with her and work things out.  Your daughter's acting out is a symptom of something worse and it needs to be addressed.

  19. I don't know if foster care is the answer because it is quite a process with your local social services dept. and she will probably not like the rules of a new home either.  If she leaves foster care, she is considered a runaway.  Is there another parent or relative that she can stay with for a while?  Have you considered counseling for her?  She probably also needs a visit to a local Planned Parenthood so she doesn't get pregnant.  There are also support groups for parents with other kids like this that you might be able to check out.  It might be helpful for you to also get some counseling about her so you can continue with your own life and not have to track her down and not be spoken to with disrespect and find some support groups so you can talk to other parents.  I hope this helps.

  20. If she's this unhappy maybe you should change your parenting style, or just let her go to foster care.  She'll end up hating you for the rest of her life if you continue the fight.

  21. call the cops on her

  22. You cant just let anyone go to foster care. She will run away from there as well. You need to set rules and boundries, calling your local Children's Aid will help you out as well.

  23. have you tried talking to someone about this and what kind of mom r u!?!?!?i cant believe a mom would even think of putting her  daughter into foster care!Even if the daughter does wants to go!!! I'm disgusted!  

  24. Ya don't beat her thats not a good answer. But idk like if u dont give her freedom and are always nosey that might be a reason... but if u give her alot of freeom but still slight disipline and she is still doing that i don't recomend foster care but maybe u guys can go to a counsiler or some other option and see if that works...

    Hope that helps!

  25. The best advise I can give, being a teen, I'd say the best thing you can do is stop being her parent, and start being her friend. That helps me when my mom does that.  

  26. seriously???

    she's your child.

    as much as you disapprove of her behavior, that doesn't change that.

  27. I think that you should seriously think about that tough love thing... take it all away from and slowly give it back as she becomes more respectful. If she seriously is doing everything to get away from you, it might be time to look into some kind of boot camp for girls... I personally would not let my child go into foster care, I would do anything to prevent that. Good luck, it's tough but hang in there! She will one day look back and love you for not letting her go... :)

  28. you should try and scare her into staying home by telling her all the bad things that can happen in foster care. If she's in a foster home she's not going to be able to run out at night and have s*x with whoever. They're very strict like a compound. Tell her it'll be just like going to boarding school, except worse. And that's not a lie, it's the truth. People can get very rough in there, even if it's just women. They can fight, beat you up, jump you, steal your things, rape. You name it. It's a government-funded thing, It's not going to be like summer camp. Remind her how good she gets it at home with a loving mom/dad and what she'll be missing when she goes away...

    Try and talk to her and figure out what it is exactly that's making her unhappy and maybe you can make some compromises. If she runs away again let the police pick her up and have them put her in jail for the night. She'll be scared and dying to come home. Whatever you do, don't let her go. She needs you.

  29. This is a hard one. Let her go and then maybe she will see how good she has had it.

  30. No ur not a "bad mother"...you can't help it...most likely she's acting like that because of her friends...You need to jus displine her..help her make new friends..find something fun like all-star cheerleading or like a club or sport at school..where she can make new friends...my mom is the best thing ever she don't drink smoke swear..but my sister turned out to be a disaster..she done the same thing when she was in high school...she wanted to **GO TO A FOSTER HOME**...so my mom called the cops one day he came to the house and he said she wasn't leaving without handcuffs on...she left a hour later she was came back crying sayin she made a mistake...Jus help her meet new friends and jus have to be strict on her....She may get mad..take her phone away or ground her ain't gonna do the trick...if she wants to do little things let her..maybe she will listen..if she wants to die her hair let her or paint her nails black..maybe shell come to appreciate the little things you let her do



  31. Dear Mum who needs advice,

    Wow, it sounds like you have a teenager that has behaviors that are out of control.  

    As a Mother, that must be very challenging and really stressful.  First off I think it is best for you to keep her from going into foster care.  Foster care is no walk in the park, she won't be going to a family that will allow her to behave the way she has.

    I would advise you to get help.  Proper counseling for yourself and your husband.  If you don't have this service through your work you can get excellent counsel from many people who are very skilled and won't charge a whole lot.

    I suggest going to your family doctor who should be able to let you know the best service in your town for you.  

    When you are able to get help, you will be helping your daughter out.  Don't give up on her.  She is crying for help.  I can imagine how difficult this is for you.  Support is Key.

    Keep fighting the fight.

    She will come around with your Motherly love.

    Marvelle.

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