I have a very, very unusual etiquette question if you wouldn't mind helping me out?

Question

Simply put: I never know how, or when, to end a conversation

It doesn't matter if it is on the telephone or face to face.

It doesn't matter if it is with a good acquaintance or a new friend.

I just don't know when it is polite to call it a day and move on.

Take today for example: I met a new french tutor in a cafe and he spoke to me in French for an hour (that's what he is supposed to do) and then we got chatting and it was very enjoyable

I wasn't sure if I was keeping him behind or if he thought he was keeping me late so I just continued chatting and waited for visual clues.

Eventually he politely glanced at his watch and I had been casually putting on my glasses to give him a polite way out and that was that. No problem

But Americans are more brash and just walk off mid sentence.

Can you advise?

(I live in America and I am English)

Answer 1

That's a very English problem, being English I have the same dilemma. I have a rule that if there is a gap of more than 20 secs in a conversation then its a good Que to say "oh well must dash" or use an English regional phrase like "better do one" leaves them stumped.

Answer 2

usuallly, I just move on and observe their reaction... then I kindly ask if they were done and apologize if I had cut them off or whatever the case may be. I would then explain on why I went on and how I figured they were done with that subject. Sometimes it's difficult to read other people, and conversation making is actually an art.

Answer 3

Thats usually the kind of exits I like to do.  If someone really has me in there clutches I will make up some bs and just leave.  But usually there is a mutual understanding and subtle hints implying that you have had your fill of conversation do the trick.

Answer 4

The only way to successfully end a conversation is to be brash really. I just say "well hey I gotta go now I'll talk to you later" and that works out just fine all the time.

Answer 5

Get to the point and move on.   if someone looks disinterested

its cuz they are.  good conversation is like a river if its not flowing smoothly their could be big problems in your future.

its sounds to me like like you were at cafe not a dentist.

so why are you pulling teeth?

Answer 6

This "brash American" was taught that he who starts the conversation should normally also end it. If I initiate, I terminate.

Answer 7

Usually what I do, is if I were in your situation... I would just casually say 'Well, it was SO nice to meet you! Maybe I'll see you again soon!" or if I already know the person I say the same thing except "It was so good seeing you again, maybe we will bump into each other again" or "it was so good seeing you, give me a call later on!" and that usually is a clue that the conversation is ending...

I like this and use it 90% of the time when I am trying to end a conversation with someone..

And the reason why I say "give me a call later" vs "Ill call you later" is because if I know I dont want to talk to the person later, I say to them to call me... so I dont feel guilty for not calling them and they cant use the excuse "Oh you didnt call me and you said you would"

And if they do call and I dont want to talk to them, I just dont answer :)

Anyway Good luck with it :)

Answer 8

You have to understand that Americans are not like the more conservative British people... Americans are more liberal with their thinking and you have to keep in mind that Americans are straight-forward people who are always on the go... They don't like wasting time even for the sake of small pleasantries... but they don't mean to be rude... they're just very forward that's all... but Europeans understand the need for etiquette...