I have a very nosy mother in law.

Question

I have been with my girlfriend for two and a half years now. We are both studying and pursuing a professional degree. Recently we became interest into the rock scene, specially the goth type, my girlfriend is an excelent artist in drawing so she kind of felt pretty confortable in that world. We started to change the way we were dressing, now darker, not in the extravagant way but just with way more black clothing.

The problem in here was her mother, she sort of didnt like me since the beggining since she is a egocentrical person who is easily attracted by material goods as opposed to personal values. So she expected a different person for her daughter, a richer one. I am middle class, but she felt that I should drive a Hummer like her other daughter's boyfriend who is 20 years older than her and has dumped her twice already in aprox 4 months of relationship, but despite this, she still love her other daughter's boyfriend.

So she place a recording device in her phone line and recorded all the conversations between my girlfriend and me, moreover, one she told her daughter that she would call the police and put a restriction order to prevent me from seeing her. Imagine how that would look in my record when applying to a job or another university. So I got mad and I said that he was a bith, as well as many other insults that unfortunately were recorded onto that conversation.

So she now got a reason in hand to say that I am a piece of c**p (since before she couldnt hold nothing against me) she says that I am satanic because of my clothing, that I have a sick mind and that I dragged her daugther into that world, so she will became ignorant(which is completely false) because since I meet her, I was the one insisting on her to improver her grades and continue her studies.

Now she shoed the tape to everyone in her family to s***w me up and make my relationship hard so which will eventually break up.

My girlfriend is at my side, but I know she is suffering with all of this, specially knowing that we are completely innocents.

I dont think is my fault, I had reasons but I never went into my mother in law's face and tell her what I thought of her, She was the one that went nosy into other bussiness and now she wants to appears like the victim in front of averyone.

Any advice? Suggestions?

Answer 1

See a lawyer. your nosy mother-in-law may have broken laws by recording your conversations without your consent and for personal reasons of her own. She is threatening to call the police why? You are the one who should be calling the police and getting a restraining order. She has nothing on you other than her poor opinion. even if you called her a b**** that means very little especially if she is trying to prove something, particularly as you were only responding to something she did. You might wish to sue her and/or get a restraining order. Maybe then she'll get the idea and back off.

As for her love for your gf's previous bf--who cares? It's your gf you have to make happy--not her mother. Oh, and by the way, a restraining order on your record doesn't look nearly as bad as you think it does especially if you explain the situation (you were dealing with a jealous psycho).

Start now--not later--dealing with the nosiness of you m.i.l....The longer it goes the worse it gets. Make your statement now and make your life happier.  PS--you didn't mention your gf's position on this. Is she thinking mommy dearest is out of line or supporting mommy? You may end up losing your girl over her nosy mother and though you love her that may not be a bad thing. You can't live your life with that baggage hanging over your head...good luck

Answer 2

Approach Your mother-in-law's Mother-In-Law and encourage Her to give Her Daughter-in-law a piece of her own medicine ;)

Answer 3

Hi there,

I think you should let her get to know you better. For most difficult that could be, having to listen to her complaints. She is just scared and protective, she is afraid her daughter gets in trouble. It is normal.

She doesn't know you, she may hate your cloths and the fact you are dating her precious little girl, but she can't hate your personality because she doesn't know you enough for that.

How about apologizing for the "*****" (I know it may be hard, but as long as you care about this girl, you need to show respect for her mother no matter how nosy and how inconvenient this woman is, she is still her mother.

Give some time to her mother to adapt to you as her new boyfriend. Maybe she is acting this sick because she is afraid. Because she said she is nosy, but it is sick to record people's conversation. SICK!

Good luck with this, and I hope you will get along well. She just needs to get to know you and stop judging people for their looks and money.

Answer 4

man **** that ***** just keep ya distance if u dont wanna be bothered **** her moms man u aint ina relation ship with her so if u and her daughter are adults tell her to mind her business

Answer 5

Here's the deal, do you love your partner? Yes? Then move heaven and earth to get along with her family.

Not possible? Then it's either not the relationship for you or you are not ready for marriage.

Try looking at it from the MiL's point of view; play devil's advocate (since you think she's a devil), then chill.