I have a very very very seriose problem !!! ?

Question

I have a very very very seriose problem !!! ?

Well Thank you When you read this Question understand it and don't take it in bad way.

I have a problem My parents died from 5 years ago,and it was really hard i was in a foster home and my Sister that is 17 now lived also in a foster home,So i am 22 now,i work and everything is good so i thought i can take my sister in,to live with me as a family i thought this is what my parents would wish for,so it worked and she lives with me,she started to live with me from 5 month,the only rules are ...

Good Grades,no alcohol,no sleeping out,clean after yourself,no friends in the house between monday and thursday,and she accepted we were always friends but saturday she came home 3 o'clock and she was really drunk and started to puke all over the place,and she was really aggressive with me,and started to curse me as if i am her enemy,and i lost my nerves and slapped her very hard,and she slept me back,so i just left her alone,so she waked up the next day and didn't want to apologize and doesn't want to talk about it so i Grounded her no tv,computer,no money,cell phone,and extra chores,and she started to say i hate you.i wish you die where have i went wrong,i gave her everything from my heart and also she speaking about me behind my back why please help !!!!

Answer 1

I'm so sorry you are having problems with your sister, and I'm sorry about the death of your parents. In my opinion, your sister is acting out of anger at the death of your parents. I think she's angry and since you're the closest person to her now, she is taking it out on you, also because you are the one taking your parent's place. There are five stages to grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Your sister may be going through the ANGER stage.

The grieving process is often a hard one to work through. It requires patience with ourselves and with others. Knowing these five stages can sometimes help in coping with the process of grief and recognizing that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

First of all, realize that you have done NOTHING wrong. Also, try to understand that your sister does not hate you, but she's angry and depressed at the loss of her parents and doesn't know how to express that anger in another way, so unfortunately she's taking it out on you. If possible, get help for your sister. If you're in Germany, usually the healthcare system there is great and will help you find a counselor or psychologist for your sister to see. If your sister continues with her destructive ways or refuses to seek help, then warn her that you will be forced to send her back into the foster care system. But do first try to get her some help.

Best of luck... and hang in there!!!