I have absolutley no confidence

Question

i put on this persona to some of my friends that i feel like i am confident and that i like myself and they think i am very confident (but not like a jerk) the only problem is that deep down, i feel like c**p. i feel like i'm ugly and i know im insecure. people tell me that im pretty and all that but i dont beleive it. plus every day my brother tells me i am fat and ugly even though i only weigh 125 but he says weight doesnt have anything to do with how you actually look. i dont feel like im worth much and i was just wondering how can i build some confidence?

Answer 1

I have been there, on the outside I have my social mask, I am laughing on the outside and crying on the inside, I used to feel ugly, and people would comment on my weight too, if I have one more person ask me if I am pregnant, I thought I was going to lose it.

I used to be a very confident person, then through a series of events, I lost that confidence and can totally relate to your post.

I used to feel unworthy too. Building confidence takes baby steps, Rome was not built in a day. Losing confidence does not happen over night, people like your brother and there are probably others who may put you down. You do not deserve it. Building confidence is like baby steps, working on one area at a time, just like losing weight.

I have started to rebuild my confidence, my insides are starting to match my outsides, and when people make negative comments like your brother, or for me about my weight, I am able to let it go.

Many times when people make negative comments to another, they usually do it to make themselves feel better, there is something they don't like about themselves so by putting someone else down, it makes them feel temporarily better about themselves.

I wrote an article for Prevention, it is about resolving conflicts, reducing stress to relax, but I truly believe some of the steps I have done to build my confidence in the article may help you build your confidence.

http://buzz.prevention.com/community/sof...

I hope it helps, some other tips are to remember there is ONLY ONE YOU in the ENTIRE WORLD out of billions of people on this planet there is only one you, you are unique and special. When I lost my confidence, I started to gain it back by following the steps in the article.

Honor the fact that there is only one you, I don't think the higher power, God, god of your choice put you on this planet to have people like your brother treat you like stepped in dog doo doo, you are on this planet to enjoy life.

Maybe make a list, about when you are with your friends, what does it feel like, make a list about things your are good at and what you like about yourself #1 you are at a healthy weight of 125! When you are with your friends and happy, when you get home think of all the nice things they said to you to add to your good at list.

Soon you will have a list about how great you are and these are some baby steps to help you get started, it was hard for me to do at first, I only had three items on my list, now I have filled a page, both sides, listing compliments, what I am good at, what I like to do, what makes me happy, listing things like I am.... I am smart, I am kind, I am a good friend, I love my body the way it is, I am strong, etc.

I think you get the point but even if you don't believe it, just pull out that list and the article, to remind yourself how special you are. Think of qualities and characteristics you want to possess, put them on the list

#1 I am a confident person, visualize what a confident person looks like, write it down and practice that, head held high, smile on the face

The more you write down, then more you read it, you will begin to believe it, replace those negative self talk tapes in your head about feeling like c**p, and read your list, that is what I did and it helped tremendously, remember it is a process, now I am in the process of becoming more confident everyday, I am not totally where I want to be, but I am getting there.

Be gentle with yourself and I hope this helps, feel free to email me if you need some more support.

Namaste

Answer 2

Well your little brother is going to say that whether you are 90 lbs or 140 lbs simply because he's your brother.Ignore what he says.Maybe you should find out what is making you feel this way.You're worth way more than you think that you are.Pray to GOD for confidence.GOD is the only one who can handle this.If people tell you that you are pretty then you should believe them.Why would they all of a sudden say that you're pretty?They must obviously mean it.Just ignore what your brother says,he's probably has low self esteem himself.Most kids that make fun of other kids have low self esteem about themselves.I hope that I helped you so GOD BLESS you!

Answer 3

Quit listening to your stupid brother. They like to make you feel that way cause they are boys

Answer 4

Stay Teen had this article which is very short, but lots of good tips that might help you:

http://www.stayteen.org/whats-your-relat...

And here's another link to a good article, this time at Teen Talk:

http://www.thefarmline.ca/teenstalk/issu...

I hope these help. I think your brother is mean to pick on you, but the more self-confidence you have, the less he will effect you.  Remember he probably picks on you because he is also lacking in confidence.

Answer 5

Search your Heart Sweetie... think of things good about yourself that you do like. In your heart what would you do if you saw say a lost puppy would you stop and try to help it find it's home? are you there and a good listener if a friend needs someone to talk to? do you keep things they say confidential? You need to ignore the things your Brother says brothers are always mean to their sisters. they don't really mean anything bad it's just how they are. If it really bothers you I would set down and have a heart to heart with your Mother about everything your feeling. I know it sounds like omg not my mom, but believe me she will know more then you give her credit for. Mom's are not just cooks and knee scratch fixers lol they are also friends that love you and want whatis best for you. I hope this helped you a little bit. best of luck to you. Gentle hugs

Answer 6

You should listen to Corrina R.I could not have thought of a better answer.When I was young I teased my sisters, told them they were fat and ugly when as I know now the are beautiful young women.Young people, myself included often have low self esteem.I bet if I saw you I'd think you were a very nice girl as well as a pretty young lady!Hold your head high and be proud. Your creator knew what he or she was doing when you were created.You're as good as anybody anywhere. Believe it!  

Answer 7

this question really does relate to me. everything you said apart from feeling ugly, relates to me. i am a good looking 19 year old male, and i know it, im arrogant about my looks and my creativity. HOWEVER confidence is something complete different and everyone knows me having confident and thinking im too good for people but the secret is deep down inside my heart i dont feel like that cos for example ive been through a lot and i mean a lot, depression played a big part of it, i wish i had confidence and maybe when things go my way in life it will build, i recieve my exam results on thurs and if i do well and get into my uni my confidence will build from there.

i dont want to sound like im preaching but GOD has played a huge role in my life, ive always been alone, people have put me down but GOD left me standing so please let him in your life.

Remember babe, you might think everyone else is confident but deep down inside their heart not everyone is, like us they show it but not everyone is. we can get through life and im sure ur very pretty, looks dont matter its what inside right? and guys who let you down, there loss cos u seem like a very nice girl and as for your brother just ignore him one ear out the other, why do you care what he thinks your not going to marry him? so live life to the max.

good luck for the future. xx

Answer 8

You don't build confidence you are confident.