I have an addictive personality..I get "addicted" to random guys and I get obsessed with them..?

Question

its usually happens when its a guy i cant have i.e. married men, a celebrity, teachers, someone way too old for me, etc....right now i have the biggest crush on my professor..except its pretty much one-sided..i fantasize about him for hours a day and in class i cant concentrate on his lecture..i dont remember a thing he says..i've flirted with him before, and ive been to his office a few times to "ask him questions about the lecture.." i think he's attracted to me but i know nothing will happen... its been 5 months and this is taking over my life. exams are coming up and im not sure if i'll even pass. ive wasted so much time on him..i.e. the fantasizing, i miss the other lectures before his class, well each lecture is like a date so i have to primp and get ready and be perfect, thinking about how to seduce him, s**y things to say to him, what to wear, etc i'm going crazy, help???

Answer 1

often people fantasizing about people they can't have. Have you ever been to the DR for OCD. I think it is about time to seek medical attention if it is consuming your life.

Answer 2

This is not specifically a symptom of a mental illness, other than Borderline Personality Disorder. It doesn't look like you have that from what you describe, as there's some very profound impacts on your life.

The current theory on how we form relationships in psychology is that it depends a good bit on the health of our parent's relationship and our attachment to them. Especially for women, if they don't form good, health attachments to their parents, especially a father figure when they're young, this becomes a sort of 'template' for how they look for a relationship when they're older. In short, if you didn't have a good father figure that you could emotionally attach to, you'll tend to look for the same thing in a potential relationship. This basically means going for people who are in some means unavailable for a relationship -as you're describing. Professors and people in positions of authority over you can't be in a healthy relationship with you, the same goes for people who are already married.

Perhaps it's time to get some therapy and really work through your emotional needs and how you look for in a relationship. It's clear you're not going for something that's achievable or fulfilling in any way, and it would be a terrible shame to waste your life perpetually grasping at impossible, destructive relationships with men.

If you're going to a university they have a mental health service of some sort attached to their medical clinic, whatever it may be or whatever form it may take. Your student insurance pays for treatment here, and you can get in to see a psychotherapist. The cost for this is usually just a copay, or a small deductible that you pay off once per school year. These services are available and it's really tragic how few students who need them take advantage of them.

Keep in mind that this is not something you deal with in one or two visits. This is something you have to work at - it's worth it in the end, but you're going to have to dedicate yourself and form a relationship with a therapist in which you can work on attachment and healthy relationships.  

Answer 3

Get counseling. This may mess your life if not treated like any other emotional disorder. It is not normal, and it is dangerous for your well being.

Answer 4

I don't know. I'm a celebrity lecturer and let me tell you that you can't have me. No way absolutely not, never.

pss, my email is [e-mail]

Answer 5

uhm try talking to him

get yourself to find something extremely repulsive OR find someone else to obsess over so you can start paying attention to the lectures