I have an issue with my little cousins?

Question

I have quite a unique situation in my hands. My little cousins are 5 and 6 years old, and they are the entities straight from the devil (just to give you an idea). Their parents do NOT care for them at all, and they are always feeding them junk food. They have no manners, and my little boy cousin keeps beating up my little girl cousin. Is there anything I can do to discipline them without having them hate me or curse me? They already know how to curse O_o I just want fast methods that'll sink into their head. But I don't want it to become that whenever I'm not around, they'll fall back into their old habits again.

Answer 1

I had a similar situation with my step-niece and nephew.  First, I'm not sure how old you are, but you have an ability to make a HUGE impact on these kids.  Their parents may be worthless, but that makes it even more important for you to be a positive role model.  They are the way they are for a reason, not because they are evil, but because their parents have set no boundaries and (I would imagine) they are looking for some attention.

Kids want boundaries.  They will respect you for setting them after awhile.  But first, set rules for the times they are with you.  No cussing, no eating junk food, no hitting, enforce manners - all of the stuff that would make sense to you.  At the same time, be the "cool cousin".  Give them tons of positive attention and play with them often.  Make them feel good about doing the "right" thing.

Each new time they are with you, you will probably have to reinforce your "rules".  Make it a game if you can.  "Let's do the RIGHT thing - Yay!" or however you can get the point across.  Sometimes it may take awhile, but eventually (if you give them lots of love when they do right), they will do whatever is necessary to bring a smile to your face.

As I said in the beginning, I had the same issue with my niece and nephew.  They had a terrible upbringing, but when they were around me I gave them lots of love, structure and positivity.  When they were with me, they loved that they had rules (really, they grew to that point).  They may be terrible at home, but at least YOU are teaching them lessons that will stay with them forever and they will learn right from wrong.

Good luck and know that it doesn't take much to be a child's hero (that may sound cheesy but it is completely true!)

Edit:  The fact that you are a teenager only makes you more accessible to the kids.  They look up to you because you aren't an "adult".  Seriously, what may seem "cheesy" to you, the kids may actually enjoy once they've experienced it.  Even if they are hard and edgy and think everything is "g*y", I've never known a kid who didn't want boundaries, love and respect.  They just have their guard up because of how they are being raised (especially if everyone else in your family is pretty hardcore also.)

Look, it's the story line of so many movies (Lean on Me w/ Morgan Freeman comes to mind, but that may be "before your time".)  There's a new Principal at the school that is strict and hardcore with rules and respect.  The kids all hate him at first.  But because he gives them positive attention, and is trying to actually help them, the kids come to respect him and the Principal becomes their hero.

Once again my point is this, you can't go wrong when you try to show kids the right thing.  It may take awhile for them to adjust and respect it, which is why it's all in how you "give them the medicine".

Sorry I'm so wordy with this, but it's something I've seen time and time again, and probably one of the biggest and best differences we can do for their future.

Answer 2

You should discuss your views in a diplomatic way with their parents. If the children are at your place or affecting you then you can lay down the rules of engagement. Be firm but fair, expect a reasonable level of behaviour - understanding that they are kids. They will respect you for it.