I have an odd ?.Not sure if there is an answer to it. Iam at a pretty low point in my life. My wife and I have

Question

been seperated for 2 years. Iam in my mid-late 30s and have 3 kids who live with their. I lost everything in a fire last year. Was asleep in the house when it started. Came out unharmed. I have a pt & ft job. I have had a hard time gettin back on my feet after the fire. I continue to make bad $ choices. I never learn.I don't do drugs or drink. Iam currently living in a weekly rate motel which charges way too much. And am behind about a month on fees. Iam really ashamed and embarassed of myself. I don't go out cuz seriously who would want to date someone in my position?? Inside me, I WANT to do better...i just never do. I know I can succeed yet just bury myself more everyday. I have no $ to see a psyciatrist. I just don't know what to do. I want to start going to church but my suits burned up in the fire and I have no $ for a new one.I don't agree with showing up in jeans.Iam just at a real bad dead end and don't know what to do.Any websites i can go to for personal or $ advice? Thanks

Answer 1

you have a lot of excuses.  You can't go to the doctor because you have no money, and you can't go to church because you don't have the right clothes.- but every hospital that recieves federal funding has a financal aid program, and drug companies offer samples and discount programs.  No one at church will judge you if your lost your clothes in a fire and need to wear jeans for a while.  Stop making excuses and start taking an active role in feeling better

Answer 2

wow im sorry to hear that. I would say to get a better job. make that money. get on your feet. purchase or rent a house or even a nice apartment.money isnt everything but it can get you going. I hire and would love to help yyou out. I am also a financial adviser and I can give you some money advice for free. e-mail me if you are interested

Answer 3

~~Call your county's health department (in the front pages of the phone book). I know in California we have an awesome county mental health program for people just like you. Do not be ashamed to go speak with a pastor at Church. They are trained for helping people in your situation and they do not care what you are wearing! When you have reached the point where you want to improve and help yourself to be your best and most productive-reach out, there will be many hands ready to help pull you out. Make a promise to yourself when you are happily on your feet again, you will help others who will be reaching out and you can give them the wisdom of experience you have accumulated. It is an awesome goal, and you will be needed by many. I can tell you one thing for sure- you are going to be okay, great even! Just don't use excuses to prolong this, get moving and make your life change!!~~

Answer 4

.Call a local church and ask to talk to the minister. Explain your problem and tell the minister that you are wanting to get started in the church. That will open up communication and take some pressure off. Next ...hit the phone book for second hand clothing stores and Good Will--I'm not joking- they get some really good stuff, Get a nice shirt and some slacks. You might also want to do this to look for a job. Concentrate on motivating yourself. The next step is 'trade school' take classes that will increase you earning power. Now you can start on your way back. An apt. is next on the list Take things one step at a time but don't take them so slowly that you don't follow through. Lean on God. He will be there for you-even when it doesn't feel like it. Good luck :) btw-churches don;t care what you wear under the circumstances. The above mentioned was for your own self esteem.

Answer 5

Honestly, churches don't look for clothing - especially given your situation.  They look for people with open hearts.  I'm not much of a church-goer anymore, but it's a good start for someone in your position.  Seriously, don't worry about how you dress.  Just make sure that the church you go to really makes you feel welcome - it may take a few visits to firm that up for you.

Good luck.

Answer 6

go to church, talk with God, he does not give a hoot what you are wearing. He sees you anyway. Put all you faith and turst in him and he will pull you out. The devil is keeping you right where you are, you have to have God to help you gain strenght.  Pray in sincerety and he always answers. God Bless You

arbutus

Answer 7

You need a helping hand and someone to talk to.  Call the largest church in your area in your faith.  Tell them that you need clothes, help with housing, and personal counseling.

Ask them to help you find a room in  a home at a reasonable monthly rate, get out of the overpriced motel.  They possibly know of a parishioner who needs to rent a room and would be happy to have you (especially if you are handy with repairs around the house).  Ask that they help you with the rent for a few months.

Tell them you need a suit -- most of the larger churches keep a clothes closet to help dress people for entering the business world.  Chances are they have one to fit you.

Ask the minister for counseling; he should do this at no charge.  You really need someone to talk to and who can give you some constructive suggestions on how to get a more loving attitude toward yourself and how to handle your finances better.

If you can get a room in a home with kitchen privileges, you can save a lot of money by eating at home; healthier, too.  Eating cereal and milk for breakfast, peanut butter sandwiches for lunch and pasta for supper will cost less than eating one meal out.  

Put 10% of each paycheck into a savings account and leave it there.  Try to live on the other 90%.  When you can do that successfully, increase your savings a little until you have built up an account equal to about 6 months salary.  Now you are safe, and it will have a big positive impact on your self esteem.

Someone else mentioned Goodwill as a place to buy clothes.  My son came to visit with only jeans and I want to take him to some fancy places.  He didn't want to invest in dress clothes that he wouldn't use back home, so we went to Goodwill.  For $39, we got a Brooks Brothers blazer, dress slacks, 2 dress shirts, and a pair of Italian loafers which looked like they might have been worn once.  Of course, we were both surprised and pleased to have picked up such bargains -- don't discount this as a place to shop.

Answer 8

woah, that's some serious stuff mate...I can visualize your problem...

and let me be honest, if you are going to look to the internet to make some decent money, than you'll need to go through a major learning curve...anything worthwhile is worth the time & money investment, BUT since you are in a crunch situation, that wouldn't be a short term solution...

however, I have learned certain methods of making some money, and I can share with you an e-book that can perhaps help you make some money, but you have to apply what you learn...

email me at [e-mail] and I'll give you the download link for the book...it's comprehensive but filled with money making methods...that don't require substantial money investment...

I hope your situation becomes better...one thing though, even in such tough times, if you can have a positive mindset & be determined to improve your circumstances, than you'll attract good things in life :)

anyhow, hit me up if you feel I could be of service...

Answer 9

You have a simple self-esteam problem that you have let get out of hand. Here's what I would recommend to fix it.  And whatever you do, stay away from shrinks.  You just need to make yourself stronger, incrementally.

Make a simple goal that you can achieve within the next hour, focus on it and achieve it.

Pat yourself on the back and make a harder goal.  Achieve it.

To save money, just go to a shelter for a while.  Don't worry about your pride.  Use it as an oppportunity to know what people at shelters experience.  When you are back on top, you can help them because you've been there.

Now, see about making more money.  Think about what job you have now, and what job you can get that would pay more.  I don't know what you have been doing, but I hear trash collectors can do ok.  Something like that.

Now, identify losers and don't associate with them.  Be polite, but don't let them drag you down or persuade you to be stupid like them.  

Think of a community role model and strive to be like that person.

You are only a loser if you allow yourself to be one.

After all you've been through, your ex will be tough on you.  Don't accept her criticism and just shrug it off. She'll try to guilt trip you, but be strong about it.  You don't need to rationalize anything to her, just tell her she's entitiled to her opinion, and leave it at that.    If she keeps going.  Tell her to give you a call when she wants to act like a human.  Don't take it.  

Take control of yourself, man.

Answer 10

Dude, you just asked this question. You will not find what you seek here.

Get out and make your own life!!!!

Also be aware of scams......

Answer 11

I'm not into religion at all, and don't advocate going to church due to a crisis, but I will say that most of them will not care what you wear.