I have been a sahm since my first daughter was born..3 years ago...

Question

ive NEVER left them alone with anyone but my husband.I have to go back to work to help with bills and things and im kinda freaking out.... We cant afford childcare and my husband makes to much to get state help with childcare...i always hear about people hurting children on the news...there are alot of home daycares around here but i dont trust someone to give my kids the love and attention i give them.. and my kids are 13 months apart 2 and 3 ...they can be a VERY big handfull ...i dont know what i would do if someone hurt them. How do i get past these feelings i have.. What should i do to find a good person to watch my girls? What questions should i ask? I have no family or friends around where i live :( Please dont leave rude comments...thanks for any help

Answer 1

I would definitely check for references- and ask how long the child care provider has been in business. I will be facing the same situation in a couple of months, and have the same concerns. Just remember that the stories you hear in the news are few and far between. As horrible as the stories are, they just don't happen all the time. My best friend has a 2 1/2 year old, and she hasn't had the benefit of being a stay at home mom. The stories I hear from her are certainly thought provoking. Sometimes there are stories about her babysitter that make me cringe (nothing violent- just differences in opinions on raising the child), but the pros are wonderful. Caila is so advanced for her age, and we know it's because of her time with the babysitter and among older children the babysitter watches. When I choose a babysitter, I will insist on asking the important questions- I know I can't be the most protective mother she's ever met and I have every right to ask what the babysitter will be doing with my daughter (a 2 yr old). A good babysitter won't have any problem relieving your fears.    

Answer 2

I am so sorry you have to leave them.

Set up nanny cams with whoever you leave them with..

Answer 3

well, i know how you feel

but, you just have to trust people.

there are many agencies that run

scans on people to make sure they are okay

you could check online

Answer 4

I totally understand you here.  We are in the same boat!  I am freaking out b/c my girls (who are 15 months apart) will be going to daycare for the first time ever starting on Monday.  Each time I think about it, it brings me to tears!!!!  I don't want them to go.  I don't want to pay anyone else to take care of them.  We can't really afford it... it feels like we're being punished for having two kids it costs so much!  But since my hubby is currently away (military), daycare's our only option.  Before, we tried the whole one of us works during the day, the other works at night thing.  It worked well for a while, but the hubby & I were exhausted beyond reason.  But... I just wanted to tell you that it DID work, and it could be something for you guys to consider doing so you can avoid that high daycare bill!  Unfortunately for us, we no longer have that choice :(

Also, I just wanted to add: We are placing them into a church-based Daycare.  It is much less expensive than a traditional "Learning Center" and I've been there twice to get a feel for the place and they've been patient & friendly both times.  They've even welcomed me to stay with the girls as long as I want on their first day to see how they adjust (though I probably won't do that... it's nice to know that I can though!).