I have been divorced for almost 2 years...?

Question

When we got divorced my x moved across the country. She took our now 2 1/2 year old son with her. I have not had a relationship with this child, but I pay my x child support every month. My x does not talk to me about the child (although we do have joint custody, she has not allowed me to see him, and going to court is too costly), but I did have a couple weeks visit with my son this summer for the first time in over a year. He was not clean, he smelled as if he hadn't had a bath since the last time i saw him. And than i found out through a dna test that he isn't mine. Now the courts say that there is nothing I can do, bc i am now the presumed dad since the divorce papers are signed. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? This child knows his moms fiance more than he knows me, but if she is not willing to let him step in as the father and take over paternity rights, what do I do? How do you deal with a situation like this?

Answer 1

i am sorry for you.

you should fight up for your rights and try to find a defense lawyer given by the state. they wont charge you.

Answer 2

Because the state/government is tired of raising these kids, in most states, it is illegal to "bastardize" a child.  

This, to me, is one of the most unfair laws against men...the ones that pay support for the children that aren't even theirs.

Answer 3

Wow, and I thought I have problems.  There are of course a couple of things that you can/should do.  One is begin a letter writing campaign to your ex to talk to her about how awful it is for leading you on about a child that is not yours.  Try to appeal to her 'hooserness' and see if you can get the soon to be new daddy to do the right thing and adopt.    

If you are on financially strapped, you may even try to appeal to somebody that has money and interest in the story perhaps a TV show to gain public appeal (even though that may sound silly.  Attorneys sometimes take on pro bono work in a high profile case, and you seem to be a victim here. )  

Speak to a number of attorneys to (both men and women) to find out what your legal options are, the costs, etc.  

Your last option:  just love that child like it was your own and support for a good cause.  Good luck.

Answer 4

Since you have proof he's not biologically yours, there are laws in Florida, Georgia, & Ohio that let fathers off the hook if proven that they were tricked. Good luck.

Answer 5

Im sorry you are not the father of this child and want to be but there are a few opptions left. If the living situation is that bad you can call child protective services on her, and once they take him away you can ask for custody. But its not garanteed. You can also talk to her about the situation and let her know that you will be contacting someone about the welfare of this child if she doesnt change her ways. Another option Im sorry to say is move on with your life and leave them alone. this is not your child and you cant force her to do anything. Plus you said you and the child have no relationship so Im sure it will be very Tramatizing for him to live with a stranger. Just think about what you are realy trying to accomplish here.

Answer 6

YIKES, thats a tough one! have u talked to a lawyer i know there costly but its something that may end up costing u more in the end.. id definatly call a child support lawyer someone who can give u some solid advise .. i mean we all can give u good idea's but thats all they are ..idea's, what u need is a plan.!

facts are your NOT the father, and by law u should be able to get back the child support u paid over the years, IF u have proof u paid it.

again my best advice is, call a lawyer, today!

Answer 7

this is a tough one..... I would ask this in the law and ethics catergory. Have you tried to contact a lawyer for a free consultation? Maybe they can point you in the right direction. Good Luck.

Answer 8

I know it's costly, but you need to get a lawyer and go back to court. If you want to remain the parent, you're x is violating a court order not giving you joint custody. If you want to be removed as a parent your x could be breaching a contract, she was deceiptful and entered into the divorce agreement knowing this.