I have been homeschooling my 2.5yr old son and always find myself explaining, justifying to people, why.?

Question

People are always giving opinions, telling us he needs go to school and assuming we are doing this to save money. Is anyone else homeschooling and facing this same problem? what can we do other than defend our decision and get angry.

Answer 1

school is terrible start off good

theyre jealous cuz your the good mom

Answer 2

I agree it is rather rude of them to do so. Two and a half years old? That's a little before preschool starts, but congrats on teh head start! They are just a little ticked off about you having the time to properly teach your son, with the one on one teacher sitiuation. Much better than public school, for public school has so many kids per class. While private schools overly priced. Just take pride in it knowing your son has a better education. Just I strongly reccomend doing some research on what to teach each year to make sure he isn't missing anything.

Answer 3

Why? Because you keep falling into it. Stop defending it, and then your entire being will exude a confidence that does not allow others to opinionate.

Next time, just say "Thanks for your concern. We'll handle this our way" and walk away. No discussion. They have no RIGHT to discussion.

Answer 4

At 2.5 years you shouldn't be worrying about schooling but enjoying your child. Carry on for as long as you want.

Answer 5

Don't let them rattle you. The ignorant, knee jerk opinions get to me too, but you have to mellow. It can be hard. Once a toothless, dirty woman working the counter of a Goodwill preached to me about how my child would never be successful if she wasn't public schooled, as she had been. It was so hard to grit my teeth and not explain the irony of her comments. But I managed.

Just remember that you do not owe them an explanation and they don't really want one anyway. You won't change their minds and they won't change yours. You have faith in your choice and that is enough. When they spout off, stop them mid-sentence and say with a smile, "This is my child. This is my choice. I've thought it out carefully and weighed every option. I really don't need your opinion, but thank for your concern". Then change the subject.

Answer 6

If it bothers you so intensely, you don't have to mention the fact that you homeschool a 2 year old.  If you don't like the confrontation, you can avoid it for at least 3 more years...

Now, after he turns 5 and you are out and about in public, it gets harder to dodge...

My tools?  Primarily humor.  Mixed with lots of intimidating and complicated vocabulary.  Keep your smile big and your demeanor confident and no one will mess with you.  

I happen to live in a state where homeschooling is seen as THE superior educational alternative, so I don't deal with as much negativity as I have seen in some states.

But, goodness already:        

Saving money?  I could have sent my kid to Harvard already for what I have spent on homeschooling so far and my oldest is only 8.

Socialization?  My girls have more friends that any one person should have to deal with...  In dozens of cities in several states.  Friends of all ages, nationalities, economic status, and physical ability...  Not just kids her age with a last name that starts with S...  

Homeschooling isn't for everyone, but it is the BEST for those who choose it.  If you choose it, embrace it.  Loudly and proudly.  If it works for your family, it doesn't matter who approves or doesn't approve.  Pesky neighbors, meddling in-laws, doubting spouses...  If the kids are thriving, end of sentence.  

Good luck!  You can do it!

Answer 7

I always assume when a child is homeschooled that the parents are doing it either for religious reasons or because they don't want their children to go to public schools but cannot afford private. That's rude that people express their opinions to you in a negative manner. Home schools kids are just as likely, even more so, to excel in academics and get into great colleges. If it works for your child then ignore everyone else, just tell them it's what works for your son. End of story.

Answer 8

I my self am home schooled my mom has experienced this but after lots (28?) of years she doesn't really have that problem so I guess it goes away...

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also, the is is a very very good idea to start homeschooling at a very early age, I started to learn to read at 3 and haved loved to read ever since.

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my littlest brother is 2ish and he is a smart kid, my mom is not doing textbook with him (you shouldn't do that for a very long time, especially with a BOY) I at 15 can hardly sit still for math.... I am not ADD am a boy and I like being one

I would like to suggest this site I don't agree with their theology you don't have to be a Cristian to see their stuff work

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/

Answer 9

He's 2 and your home schooling? Why? Let him be a baby and play! Also what school are you supposed to be sending him to? I hope not formally home schooling yet but then that's not for me to decide. He is your baby!

I can't see how home school is saving money when I just paid over $900.00 for a boxed curriculum for my oldest children. Yes I can use it over and over but geezz. We spent less than that getting the kids ready for public school every year. But then our public schools require uniforms so I would buy 2 new ones and as school went on replace the older ones as they grew (but that's just buying clothes they need anyway). The opinions I always get are you can't afford to HS and that I need to work more. I already HS and work part time like several others here.  

What works best for me is to tell them that they chose how to raise their kids let you choose how to raise yours.

Answer 10

Let me speak to you from my personal experience here......

I home taught all 7 of ours and would highly suggest that you not do any formal "teaching" but rather "play". A child learns best without a formal environment. They learn to pursue an education without evening realizing. :o)  You want to foster that natural curiosity that he'll hopefully keep throughout his lifetime. If he has that, he'll never stop thirsting and seeking knowledge. :o)

Please check out "unschooling". Just "Google" it...

"Child led learning" is essentially what it is and it works well.

With regard to those people who have negative opinions about educating your child(ren) outside of structured societal norms....  Ignore it or ask them politely NOT to give you their opinion unless you ask for it. If you allow them to do that now, it'll only make you miserable all the way along b/c you'll allow that "pressure" to weigh you down.

Do NOT allow yourself to feel societies pressure for your child to excel at a certain level, etc.

Who's son is this anyway??  That's RIGHT...it's YOUR SON...

Remember that public schools in this country began simply for the benefit of children who were typically on their family farm and some didn't learn to read/write/compute.

That's how our society was then. It was necessary to ensure that all rural children learned at least the basics. That's also why they had summer breaks... A lot of farming is accomplished in the summer months. :o)

Our society has changed much since then and yes, we need to educate our children well in more than farm work but it doesn't take "tradition" to do so. :o)

Enjoy yourself and your son. Learn and discover together!  DON'T sweat the things that are small. Believe me... :o) Your son needs his loving, supportive and nuturing family, NOT his adolecent peers.

NOTE:  We began 22 yrs ago when society looked at us very strangely, as if we were religeous hippies. (we were neither)

We began w/structured learning since that's all we knew. (dh and I both raised in traditional system)

Over those years we relaxed because it worked well and eventually became what society calls "unschoolers". My unschooled children have done much better all the way around. We've found that they'll need more lifestyle structure when they're older to prepare for the busy daily work world but that's easily accomplished.

We've one in law school, another in medical school, another at the Naval Academy. They all did very well with ACT as well as the SAT's.

Don't worry yourself to death either.... Building their character is the foundation of WHO they'll be. Your son/children will learn this from you and it's very important.

We still have 2 in "high school" level at home that are university bound (just like their siblings) so we are certainly more focused on accomplishing what they need to prepare for that endeavor but you're a long way from there.

I'm thrilled to hear of your choice to home teach, hope that you'll consider it throughout high school for your son and I wish you all the best. You'll not regret it.

:o)

Answer 11

I have had similar experiences.  I homeschool my 2 boys ages 13 and 5.  When people ask the stupid questions like "What about socialization?" or "Why, is something wrong with them?"  I usually just laugh and say that its  shame that all parents arent able to homeschool their kids- the world would be a better place.  When folks get insistant I usually turn the questions back on them and ask them when was the last time they met with their childs teacher or took time to volunteer at their childs school.  Given the poor influences in public school these days I feel that we made the right choice.  My children are well adjusted, intelligent, polite and they know that their pants dont belong falling off their butts.  Now why cant public school parents do that?

Answer 12

You do not have to defend nor get angry. Let's look for a second at why you feel the need to defend and why you get angry:

Defense is because we feel that the other person is seeing us a wrong and we want to make sure we're seen as right. (It also means that we are doing to the other person exactly what they are doing to us: we see ourselves as right and them as wrong.) It can stem from an insecurity on our part or the result of not having learned that someone else can have, and keep, a completely different opinion from our own and it's okay. Learning this last point can really clear up the need to defend oneself--my position is fine and so is the other person's, even if we don't see eye-to-eye. Or in other words: it's okay if he doesn't agree with me. If insecurity is part of the equation, then one could say to oneself that it's okay if this person looks down on me--that's his problem, not mine, because I am confident in my decision.

The anger can come from a variety of places: expectations of being heard, frustration in not getting other people to see our way, hurt as the result of assumptions being made and more.

You could say, "I expect to be treated with respect and not have assumptions made about me." Or, "Can we agree to disagree?" Paraphrasing what the other person has said, without going any further, can be helpful, too. "So, you really feel that this could be a bad idea?" "Yes, I do." "Thank you for sharing that." Then change the topic. Learning to avoid the topic altogether or diverting it is probably the most helpful thing you can do for yourself.

Answer 13

Yes, I have experienced that and it does get old.  I no longer feel the need to defend myself and I don't get angry.  I usually just smile to myself because I can typically think of at least 20 reasons the person who is criticizing me should homeschool their children.  :)

Here are some tips on handling negative reactions:

http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/...

I am surprised you are getting these comments so soon.  Your child is only 2!

Just let it roll off your back!

Answer 14

I am a homeschool mom who majored in Secondary Education, but instead of teaching in a public institution, I chose to homeschool. I think that the general public is very uninformed about homeschooling today, and still relies on the old stereotype of the "shy unsocialized hermetic homeschooler" who never leaves their home and has no friends. It is so inaccurate. My kids are very social and anything but shy! We live in a suburb of Kansas City, and there are hundreds, maybe thousands of other Hschoolers in our small area. Nationwide, there are millions of us. We are active members of several local groups for homeschool famlies, and we take part in at least one social activity every day, outside of our home. Activities are set up and organized by moms through yahoo email loops. Our local homeschool groups offers the following activities to name a small few; Girl and Boy Scout troops, 4H, campfire, bowling, gymnastics, swimming, horseback riding, art, choir, and gym classes, holiday parties, book clubs, a 2 hour long recess time every week, plus park days, field trips, picnics and academic fairs. These are just a few of the many things we do while everyone else is in school). When we are not doing our lessons, we are always on the go, and it is ironic that we call ourselves homeschoolers since we spend so much time away from home! Homeschoolers have the advantage of one on one personalized attention educationally, and we also dont have to waste a lot of time on discipline, paperwork, and busywork. We can get our lessons done in a couple hours each morning, and then get on with enjoying our hobbies and friends. We also have the advantage of making closer more meaningful friendships because our kids have the time for more playdates and outings, instead of sitting, bored and institutionalized behind a desk all day. I find it ridiculous that public schools are thought of as a great place to socialize! How can kids socialize when they have to sit silently and listen for 8 hours a day?? Homeschoolers have the time to learn at their own pace, to spend time with friends, and just be kids, without the pressures and negative influences of public school. Homeschool kids are not hermits and they are not freaky nerds. They are just really lucky kids who get to enjoy life and learning every day. No child is left behind in a homeschool, and socialization is the best reason to homeschool. Public school creates a harsh artificial society where children are raised by their peers. Homeschoolers live and learn in the real world. For more info, read the book; "The Well adjusted Child; The Social Benefits of Homeschooling", by Rachel Gathercole.

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Source(s):

The Well Adjusted Child; The Social Benefits of Homeschooling, by Rachel Gathercole

Dumbing Us Down; The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling, by John Taylor Gatto