I have been into self bondage since my pre-teens and I love it! Why? I'm 43 now and losing my mind.

Question

I love the feeling of beeing helpless and to have someone that I know is not as strong as I am taking advantage of me (So to speak). The problem is I can't get my wife to do this. We gave a great relationship and I love her more than anything. What do I do?

Answer 1

I'm sorry....but, you have to begin to control your desires so that you won't cheat on her, or else you will cheat. Honestly even if she did you would still want more of it especially since you have a strong desire for it.    Fetishes are just apart of our everyday lives along with other things.

We have to control them so they don't control us and mess up our relationships w/spouse or girlfriends.

Answer 2

Okay... you enjoy self-bondage, it's a kind of masturbation for you... and there's nothing wrong with a little self-pleasure ;)

However, if your unable to control yourself or become obsessed with pleasuring yourself, to the point where it affects your health, relationships, career, etc... then it's a problem.

I'm assuming you want to incorporate your wife into your private pleasure sessions, in some way or another, but she's not interested.

You can't force somone to want to participate in the same pervy activities as you, but you should be able to tell your wife about your sexual interests and desires.  She's probably uncomfortable with the whole thing because it's deviant and "not normal."  

Most folks like to fancy themselves as good lovers and like to think they bring something spicy to the bedroom, but in moderation.  Your wife wearing some stockings and a corsette on your anniversary is in the same vein as her buckling you into a leather armbinder... only not nearly as far out on the "extreme scale."  

Ease her into it.  Don't show up in the Gimp costume and ask her to lock you in the trunk, but rather, try some light silky scarf over her eyes as a blindfold, then let her return the favor.  Maybe some clanky handcuffs and a bottle of champagne... but whatever you do... make her rampant and over-the-top pleasure your top priority.

If you ensure that everytime a little bondage play enters the bedroom, SHE has the most rockin' experience and enjoys mind-blowin' toe-curlin' orgasms...  then eventually, you'll condition her to enjoy the bondage lovemaking.  She'll be putty in your bound little hands.

Answer 3

I presume that you have talked to your wife about your desires and she still is not interested. Might I suggest that you talk to her again about seeing a professional d********x.

If you talk to her about it she may allow you to do this and then you will be able to get what you want. A professional d********x should not be considered cheating if it's done with full knowledge. A professional d********x will not be having s*x with you. You are paying them for a service, in this case to tie you up. I don't see any difference between being paying a d********x to tie you up or paying a masseuse to rub your body. I bet your wife would love a professional massage.

But talk to her and be open about your needs. Find out what her needs are and work together to fulfill them both.

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