I have been isolated from the real world?

Question

My whole life i have been isolated from the real world by my mother. I am only allowed to leave the house to go to school.

I'm now 17, i am not allowed to meet friends, i am not allowed to go to a pub, i am not allowed to go to the disco. The result of being isolated for my whole youth is now; i am very dependent. I do not know how to travel by train on my own since i was never allowed to do so, i do not know what a disco/pub looks like. My life is pretty ****** up, i can say.

I don't know what to do. How can i learn all those basic things that a 14 year old ought to know? I'm 18 next year and i still haven't learnt all those things. I feel useless, dumb, i'd like to talk to someone about this mess. Please, can someone lend me a listening ear?

Answer 1

Sounds like your mother is afraid of losing you.  In being so afraid she is doing you damage, there is no doubt about that, as you sound angry. I suspect that leaving home would be too difficult for you so it might be time for you to learn how to assert yourself if you feel able to.  Explain that the world is not as bad as she fears it is and that you intend on making a few changes.  However, having said that if you are 17 and haven't done this to now you may be colluding with her unintentionally.  Acknowledge your personal power and let her go emotionally.  Imagine being dropped in a foreign country and you had to make decisions for yourself without any family or friends....what would you do?  Tell her you love her but now it's time for you to start finding out what life is all about.  If she has no faith in your decision making skills, give yourself the luxury of believing in yourself and stop placating her.  Good luck.  

Answer 2

you need to put your foot right down, quickly. whats worse, a pissed off mother or spending your youth this way? she doesn't own you and its up to you to straighten things out. i actually feel pissed off for you.

just go meet your friends and s***w what your mother thinks, no matter how much she complains.

Answer 3

Your mother is toxic to you, Greg. You're an emancipated minor. Get out of the house and stay away from her for awhile. If you have a computer, use it to apply for a job. Once you get a job, announce to your mother that you are going to work. She cannot legally prevent this. If she tries, call Human Services or even the police. Once you get the job, stay in a rooming house for a little while until you can save enough to get an apartment. You'll make friends, and then your life will be your own.