I have been married 16 years and just found out my husband has had an affair with another girl.?

Question

I do not know what to do. We have 3 children. he says its over, i have recently ask him to move out until i decide what is best. I guess the hard part is that i had clues of their relationship and confronted him. always with a response that im paranoid. Any advise?

Answer 1

he does not seem to be in a mood to come back. and no he may not be very intrested in the kids welfare either.

it is a difficult decision and moreso painful for u. it is not easy trusting someone, leaving everything to make sure a marraige works, the kids r happy and taken care off, dreaming dreams together and finally seeing everything fall to pieces. u may have had an inkling, but till he was not very sure that he wnted to move out, he kept denying it.

if u pick up a fight now, it will make life more difficult for u and the kids.

u r lucky to have kids. u'd be amazed at the kind of emotional and physical support they will be able to provide. yes it will be difficult to bring them up alone, but take it up as a challenge.

i hope u get a good divorce lawyer, and manage to squeeze a decent alimony and child care .

all the best.

Answer 2

awwwwwwwwwwwwww um well i don't know what to tell you i guess he wasnt thinking of the kids when he did this i think you should do what you think is best for the kids and yesss he should most definitly move out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

good luck

Answer 3

that is how men work, turning it around to look like it is your fault.  They are all the same.  If I were you I would leave, take the kids and kick his *** to the curb.  Once he starts paying child support, he will think twice whether it was worth it or not.  best of luck to you!

Answer 4

If you love him you are going to have to try and work things out.  I believe people have affairs for reasons.  Either things weren't as good at home as he wanted them to be, or he has a low self esteme and being with other women is what makes him feel attractive, or things like this.  Try to figure out why he did it first and see if you are willing to change things.  He shouldn't of done it, I am not saying it is excuseable, but more than likely there is a reason.  If it's a reason you can relate to, then try and work on it...if it's not, then leave him.

Answer 5

Please do not waste any more time trying to "save" your marriage. My ex-husband and I did that for 20 years and still ended up divorced. We seperated twice and divorced  twice with his promises of becoming more involved in our family life. We were all miserable the entire time, including the children. He would change for a short period of time, then become disinterested in his family once again. If this is what you want, then by all means stay in the marriage. If your husband is saying it`s over, it is. He no longer has the  feelings he once did.  I was the one who said it was over, and he wanted to try to reconcile. He was never a part of our family home life, choosing it to be that way. I became totally sick of it and wanted out. It wasted precious years of both of our lives. He has been happily remarried for 14 years to a woman who thinks he is just wonderful because he does not include his children in their lives. He has continued to not be a part of our children`s lives which has hurt them greatly. My remarriage ended with my husbands sudden death. My children thought of their step-father as the father they never had. So do not stay in the marriage if it is out of fear of being alone or out of convience. Those are not good enough reasons.

Answer 6

he will do it again,he needs to move out and quit deceiving and lying.how dare he tell you you are being paranoid,that would be enough for me.you shouldn't look back either,its hard i know but you don't need to have JACKASS on your forehead anymore,good luck

Answer 7

Did you find out yourself or did he confess? Cause that could make a difference. If he confessed then there may be a chance you can learn to trust him again. If you caught him though thats another story and I would be thinking about your next step as solo if I were you.

Answer 8

Here's what's going to happen. He will move out, at an apartment that's going to be closer to his work then your home is. After that he will come to regularly see the kids. Sometimes you might let him in, sometimes he will pick the kids up. You might even invite him to dinner a couple of times, and then you will ask him to mow the lawn and other things that need to be done around the house.  Perhaps, you might even let him come to bed a couple of nights. This will become routine, but it will be what marriage should have been like to begin with, part-time.  This arrangement would be better for both of you.

Answer 9

if you believe eye for eye justice, go ahead, start one yourself. But what is he missing at home that he has to seek elsewhere. Patch up dear, for the sake of your three kids. Two years from now, youll both only laugh it over in retrospect. All the best.