I have been married to my husband for 4 1/2 year and my mother-in-law does not see me as the step mother to ?

Question

his son...she tell my step son to address me by my first name, but address her 1 year boyfriend as grandpa. She is always making comments that the child thinks she is his mother. When we all are in public she never address me as the step mother. I feel hurt, should I be? The birth mother lost her right to the father and myself when she went to prison when he was 1 he is now 9. I have tried to make contact with the birth-mother but she wants nothing to do with the child because he is a special needs child and she has since has another son.

Answer 1

Your mother-in-law has nothing, let me repeat, nothing at all to do with your relationship with your step son. She is not the dictator over the relationship the two of you should have.

You dear need to stand up to her and put her in her place. Warn your husband first though. Let her know your limitations and what you expect of her with your step-son.

Answer 2

AngelWhyAngel, if your mother in law has a problem with this I say that it may be appropriate for her son to speak with her.  At that time he can ask politely (if possible) for her to keep her nose out of how you two decide to raise this young fella.  Too bad you and her couldn't have a mature and open minded conversation without saying hurtful or angry things to one and other.  If you can that would be a very good and strong thing to do.  However; if you do not think either of you are capable of such a talk then forget about it.  Fact of life is that you are the child's stepmother whether Grandma likes it or not.  For you to take the responsibility of this special needs child is something that most grandparents would be eternally grateful for.  But if granny is so tied up with her getting credit for helping raise this little guy before you were on the scene then give it to her.  But for now she must realize that she does not have that priviledge any longer and it is now your responsibility.  Her son needs to grow a spine and put mom in her place.  If birth mother wants nothing to do with this special little guy then the h**l with her also.  AngelWhyAngel it sounds to me like you have earned this name that you use on line.  Keep up the good spirits and realize that you are in the right and hopefully this selfish and self centered mother in law of yours will come to see you as that also.  Best of luck.

Answer 3

ignore the old bat and if the child wants to call you mom or some other special name and it's alright with you then do it.

she knows she can get under you skin and she takes a perverse pleasure in doing it.  You know the truth of your family, just ignore her and live your truth.

Answer 4

I would be def. hurt! For all intensive purposes you are that child's mother! He knows no mother other than you! Being a mother has nothing to do with giving birth, its who is there for you! Especially since you have tried contacting the mother and she is non repsonsive! You have every right to be upset and I would stand up to your mother in law and tell her you don't apperciate it when she says that and it hurts your feelings. You're not trying to take the title of mother but at least give you the dignity of step mom