I have been thinking a lot lately and I am pretty sure I would like to adopt a child.?

Question

Not right at this moment, because I have a 5 1/2 month old and another on the way in 4 more months. But I am trying to get as many point of views as possible. I don't want to adopt a baby, maybe a little older 1, 2, 3, or 4. But I have heard from some people that there are a lot of problems with older children when you adopt them because a lot of them come from bad abusive homes. I obviously would like to work through that with them but I would like to hear any other experiences you have had with an adopted child. Any information would be helpful, thanks in advance!

Answer 1

Adopting a child is an amazing thing. We adopted Cami when she was almost 3 years old. She was very well behaved and advanced - still is. The only thing is, she didn't come from an abusive family. Her parents both died in a car accident, that's why she was put into adoption. We got lucky, but I would have loved any child they sent our way. Now we have infant triplets. It was amazing that we could find triplets. They are from an abusive home, their mother did drugs and was an alcoholic. Gabi is on a heart monitor. We love our 4 adopted kids as much as our 4 biological kids. I'm sorry that I'm not able to tell you about having a 'problem' child, but I know that if you gave them enough love and discipline (not in a bad way), they will turn out just right. Good Luck!

Answer 2

I'm happy for you Nik. Older children don't usually get adopted and i think its great you will be adopting. Patience is the key when & if you adopt. You must know that process will take probably 9 months in your town. There are problems with Older children but if your determined you can get through to them. You also have to remember your finical stability. If you have enough money to take in another child then you should consider doing it. Also is your job safe? What would happen to the Adopted child if something happened to you?

Answer 3

Some kids may have issues..some may not.  You have to go through steps to adopt:

The basic steps of the adoption process are as follows:

    * Choose the type of adoption

    * Select an agency or facilitator

    * Complete a home study

    * Wait for a placement

    * Finalize the adoption

Answer 4

Adopting an older child is a WONDERFUL idea.  These are the children that need help the most.  However, please do not adopt a child older than your biological children.  Children from foster care ARE usually troubled, they often have emotional or developmental disabilities, and they need even more time and attention than "normal" children.  I don't say this to discourage you!  They are also precious, lovable, and wonderful beings who need and want families.  There are simply more challenges to parenting a former foster child than one might normally expect.  

Since you already have two children of your own, you have a further responsibility to not endanger the well being of your two current children.  Adding an adopted child to the mix will be difficult for them.  Heck, the birth of a new sibling is difficult too!  However, with the joy of a new birth, there is the pride and responsibility of now being a "big brother" and/or "big sister".  I think this is one of the biggest reasons that adopting IN birth order is so important.  You will need to full cooperation and support of your children in order to add a new child.  It's much easier for them to give this for a younger sibling than it would be to suddenly accept a person above them in the family hierarchy of responsibility.  

Make sure before you adopt that you go through all the classes you can.  Even after your placement and adoption, take a periodic inventory of what is going on with your whole family, not just your adopted child.  It may be wise to go to weekly or monthly family counseling for a year or two after the adoption.  It may also be wise to have a semi-annual or annual counseling "evaluation" of your family in all the years to come.  This is just to make sure that you are aware of all the tensions that may be weighing on your children so that they can be addressed.  

Answer 5

Giving a child a forever family is an amazing thing.  There are so many kids in need of good homes.  I would suggest talking to Social Services when you are ready to begin the process.  They can tell you a lot.  When adopting an older child you do get a lot of baggage but you also get a lot of joy and love.  Like any thing in life some are in very bad crisis and others are not.  You have your horror stories and your stories that are not so bad.  Each situation is different and each child is going to react different.  The best thing to do is to kind of decide what you can handle and then go with it.  Best of luck!

Answer 6

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!

Answer 7

I lived in and out of foster homes.

but i think thats really nice you want to! try adoptuskids.com most of the time it is free. its true people think older kids are harder and thats why no one ever adopted me but i wasnt crazy i was always really good and everyone else in the same foster homes. it really just depends on the kid.

Answer 8

I Never Adopted A Child But If You  Adopt A Older One Chances Are 75% S/He Came From A Abusive Family And What You need To Do Is Get To know The Child Love him/Her And Iam Sure They Will Change

Think About It if You Came From A Abusive Home Wouldnt You Like To Be Loved  

Answer 9

ya get that baby!

Answer 10

I think you need to research adoption thoroughly before you embark on this.  Maybe a Foster carer would be a better idea, perhaps a permanent carer if you don't wish to see children come and go in your home?

Adoption is a really huge step for a child; it means you are separating them forever from their heritage and what makes them who they are.  Sure, you might think well thats okay, they will get mine but thats not who made them who they are.  Your heritage made YOU and contributed to YOUR life but regardless of this child's background, they may not want to be completely severed from their life.  Its great you are not after a baby but maybe just take the time to enjoy the babies you have in your home currently.  You will need as much emotional energy as possible to give to the two in your home already before you can even think of looking to have another child move in with you.

For now, I say wait, stop and research.  Get the perspective from both sides (pro and anti) and explore other possibilities to adoption.

All the best with your upcoming baby.

Answer 11

Hm mm. not all children came from an abusive family,some are in the situation that their parents died. Others were just left at some doorstep when they were a baby. you can teach the child. tell them that it  will be different and you will make sure they will not go back to the old situation. Spend time with the child before you adopt. and make sure that u give him/her plenty of love bec she/he might feel left out with the other children.....  I wish u the best of luck!