I have been thinking of my mom a lot?

Question

I posted this problem before but I am posting again because I have been thinking of it a lot. If anyone remembers, I wrote that my mom has never really been around my whole life. She would go to work then go home and sleep. Then on weekends, she would leave Saturday morning and come home Monday after work. She goes to her friends' houses or gamble with her gambling buddies. I remember being in middle school and always being home with my brother alone on weekends because she would be gone all the time. She wouldn't even come home at night, choosing to sleep over at her friends' houses. My dad works every day so in the day time my brother and I would be home by ourselves. My dad and brother tells her to stay home all the time but she never listens. I told her and she said, ''Well I'm stressed from work. I'm entitled to go out on the weekend.'' Yes, but go out every single weekend for a straight 48 hours and not coming home to sleep? My friends says my mom is not ready to be a mom and that she likes to party. She doesn't like responsibilities. I can see that.

Anyway, lately (for the past week or so) I have been thinking of her a lot and I've been crying frequently. I don't know what to do or what to say to get through to her. She never changes and I'm scared my whole life, I'll never get to know my mom because she's never around. I feel like a part of me is missing because she's gone all the time. I feel lonely and incomplete. When I see my friends with their families I get really sad. I don't know how to get better.

Answer 1

I feel really sad that you have to face such situation at early age.  

Maybe if you know approximately when your mom gets home at night, cook something for her to eat.  And when she is eating, sit across from her and try to start a conversation with her such as asking her how was her day etc...and then tell her how your day - what you did etc...

By doing this, at least you can get about 30 minutes of her time.  And perhaps suggest that you and her go out shopping sometime.

Sometimes saying "I love you, mom!" can do the trick as well.  I would melt every time any of my children does that to me.

May God blesses you!

Answer 2

well first i would like to say im sorry for you and i know how you feel. i was 16 when i moved out the house and my mom and dad wernt in my life. the only thing that i can tell you is you have to forgive them. its the right thing to do.oneday they will see that they missed out you you and your brothers child hood and realize thta they hurt you. mabe you can sut your mom down and tell her how you feel.tell her that you miss her and really tell her how you feel. my lilttle sister is going through that too my mom goes to work gets off at 7 stays in her room until about 9 then gos to the club and doent get home until about 3 or 4. my dad is living with another woman and comes home about once every 2 weeks. i live there with my husband to keep her company. your not alone. you can email me at any time to talk

Answer 3

I kinda have that problem but not that bad. My parents are divorced and my dad lives far away from me and he comes in on the weekends. I get to see him but he always goes to his friends house and I never see him. Earthier that or he is always doing something else. My grandpa lost his wife in 2005 and he is going down hill and it's like dad cares but not enough.You know so when I see him I don't.When I go there for the summer he is always busy during work. I hang out with his friends since he is really never home. They told me to tell him how I felt and I ended up in tears for like an hour when I did he left and went back to work. They friend that told me to do this I is being a jerk right now. I have a step dad that is like trying to take his place which makes me mad. I hate my step dad he's a complete. I know your pain just tell her sit her down and tell her she is loosing touch with her and she needs to suck it up and be the adult here not you. I was the 2 adult in my life to.  

Answer 4

Tell her what you just told us. This is a very sentimental post that shows how you truly feel. Your mother should learn to get there for you more because when you're out of the house, I'll guarantee you that she'll regret never spending time with you while she had the chance.

Also, I think that it would be a good idea to get you, your brother, and your father to confront her at once, have a good long talk, and tell her that she's still a mother, is a part of this family, and needs to be with you more.

A compromise would be best; she's obviously the freedom-loving type. However, she should recognize that hanging out with her family is an excellent way to relieve stress and create memories.

Maybe she can change jobs/negotiate a less arduous work schedule. Most people put in their long, hard hours from work too, yet they still have time for their families. Maybe she doesn't like her job and feel fulfilled doing it. Well, then get her on track to do something that she likes because she won't be as stressed form work if she enjoys it.

I wish you the best in your attempt to get closer to you mom. Please, do get closer. When I was younger (I'm only 18 now), I took care of my mother because she had MS and was bed-ridden. It's hard to be the child and taking care of your mom, but I don't regret doing it. I don't remember ever having a long conversation with her because her disease weakened her voice to the point she couldn't talk. However, I know what you mean by never knowing your mom. Due to her illness, I never got to know my mom for the person she was.

Take comfort in the fact that she's not terminally ill, so you have time. I wish you luck and a happy relationship with your mom!

Answer 5

shes a bad parent.  

Answer 6

I can truly understand what you feel. If and when you see your mother let her know that you need to talk to her and express to her how you need to be nourished and loved by her. Its sad that she can't see how you feel try to stay strong and trust in god he will guide your path.