I have been wondering this for months now so I just gotta ask...?

Question

What could cause a man who seemingly was in love and deeply cares for a woman to suddenly not even seem interested in friendship?

Even if he honestly couldn't continue a relationship due to time constraints wouldn't he make an effort at friendship? Or can some people just turn love and care, off and on?

Answer 1

Men don't want friendships with women. We want to have s*x with them. What's the purpose of being friends with a woman if you can't sleep with her. I know this sounds callous, but it's true.

Answer 2

It seems like this person didnt love you or care for you as much as you thought. Men put on acts alot of times, no you cant just trun love on and off.

Answer 3

Because this is not all guys!! those guys are usually getting sick of you for many reasons and grown out of love.

Answer 4

Loss of interest in the other person. Fear that the relationship is getting too serious.

Answer 5

I would think that he has other things going on in his life that is more important to him.

Answer 6

I don't think men "try" for anything-friendship or relationship-if there isn't any benefit to them.  

There might have been a benefit there and it seemed like love but it sounds like he lost interest and has moved on to someone who is fulfilling whatever needs he has.  

If he isn't even willing to try to be friends, it's rude, but it means hes just not interested in you for any type of relationship.

Answer 7

Not getting laid.

Answer 8

He probably just saw something he liked better. That's all it takes for a lot of men.

Answer 9

For me personally, a friendship after a relationship is about as appealing as torture.

If the guy is no longer interested, chances are he found a relationship that fits his life better. I don't think anyone can turn love/care on or off, but sometimes it just goes away.

If it turned off for him suddenly there must have been something that happened to make him change his mind.

If you are in a relationship with a guy that works a lot or whatever, and you continually nag him about spending more time with you chances are he will get so sick of hearing it.

Answer 10

Something happened that you don't know.

Could be a good thing or a bad thing. Who knows.

Answer 11

a man who seemingly was in love and deeply cares for a woman will suddenly not even seem interested in friendship if the woman was cheating on him.

Edit:  I never said you cheated.  This is one single reason I can think of in this scenario.  May be he believe you cheated on him as a result of misunderstanding or fraud by somebody else.  May be it is totally different reason altogether.  I agree, I dont know the exact reason.

Answer 12

There's no such thing as time constraints in love.

Answer 13

Hey Hala. I told you he was a piece of ****. He is not a man but a boy who does not want to be commited. When you first broke up with him you defended him due to emotion. He just wasted 5 years of your beautiful life and now does not even want to be friends with you. Thats shows alot for his character. You as traditional women need to be cared for and respected. If I see this guy I will beat him up with baseball bat for treating you this way.

Answer 14

Is this man now with another lady? If so, then he may feel that being so close to you would be unfair to his new lady.

Answer 15

Guilt-  he was lying to you as to the reason for the breakup.

Answer 16

"seemingly" is the keyword.

Hun, it sounds to me like this guy fed you a line.  No one knows why he broke up with you, but it's a good guess that "time constraints" was an excuse.  

Love and care cannot be "turned off," obviously you are still feeling the love and care you had for this man.  

Chances are that this man's love turned off long before he gave you the "I need to focus on myself right now" line and might have left the "friendship" possibility open for one of two reasons. 1. To avoid feeling guilty or sounding like an a$$ by saying he didn't want anything to do with you, or 2. Booty call possibility.

I'm sorry for being blunt.  But I have a friend who's going through this right now and she's in this cycle of alternately blaming herself and trying to get him back and it is so painful to watch.  I hope you are not in this same abyss.

First, realize that this guy did not appreciate what he had.  Second, realize that if he didn't appreciate you as a love partner, he won't appreciate you as a friend. And third, realize that the reason you want a friendship with him is probably because you think it will lead back to a relationship, and even if it were to happen, you'd always have to worry that he would once again decide that "time" is a priority over the relationship as he has proven with his past behavior.

Repeat to yourself....

"He didn't think I was worth it.  s***w that, I am worth it, he just couldn't see it"

Anytime you need a chat, you have my e-mail

:-)

Answer 17

Not knowing you or your guy it is hard to say. The dynamics of any ones relationship is always different, and some people can make a relationship seem like a good one and then hit you like a ton of bricks.

I would think, especially depending on how long the relationship lasted, that an attempt at friendship could be made. However, don't expect him to do so. It seems you are having a hard time letting go because your heart is broken. There are questions about him that you may never be able to answer, but going over what went wrong is going to drive you nuts.

I don't think people turn love on and off. I think if someone really loves you they always do, even if the relationship doesn't work out.

I'm sorry about your heart being broken. It seems you were hurt pretty bad. Don't let this jade your view of men though. There are many good ones out there.