I have difficulty making eye contact, does anyone else?

Question

I have had this problem for a while and though I'm learning to cope with it (the more I want to get rid of it, the more it persists) I still would love to make eye contact. I know that it could be related to the fact that I have little self-esteem, but I also feel it's like a weird psychological thing that I have. I try with all of my energy to focus on people's eyes, but my eyes focus on the nose instead. Since I know this is really weird, I try to either look elsewhere or on the forehead, I squint, I do everything I can, but it's really tiring and gives me aheadache. Does anyone else have this problem? I can't understand why something so easy (to make eye contact) is so difficult. I know it could be related to social anxiety, but the thing is I have been and still am REALLY trying to focus on eyes. Thing is, the results (zero), make me depressed. I'm afraid this is why many people do not like me or want to be friends with me. My intentions are not mean though, I don't do this on purpose so why are people so weirded out by this habit of mine? I cannot go to a psychiatrist now, so does anyone have any suggestion? I think the thing that is upsetting me the most is the fact that people think I'm strange or rude.

Answer 1

you are a very caring person. many times, the things you self-sacrafice for others is never noticed by a single soul. you are extremely selfless and one of your greatest worries is disappointing people.

Answer 2

I have difficulty making eye contact sometimes.  And I don't wear my glasses so if they aren't standing close to me, and I don't know what kind of expression they have on their face, I have trouble smiling at them and I'm less likely to make eye contact with them.

Answer 3

i think your thinking way to hard about making the eye contact. just dont think about little stuff like that and it will come naturally. just try not to think about so hard the next time your trying to make eye contact, just have a conversation and you might find yourself looking in there eyes when you didnt think about it.

Answer 4

It's not weird...or maybe you just think people think it's weird, but it's not. I have the same "problem"....although it's not really problem, it's more of a preference. I just don't like making eye contact, cos I feel it's too intense. So I focus on either the nose or mouth (usually the mouth)....people never had problem with me doing that. In certain cultures, some people are taught not to look straight into one's eye ie: most asian cultures....

However, it depends...in a job interview for instance, you HAVE to make eye contact. Why? This is a sign of sincerity. If you avoid the eyes, your prospective employer will only think you are trying to hide something.

That's all there is to it though...thats probably why people get offended at times....

just practice it...its not a big deal focusing on the eyes once in awhile. You can focus on the eyes, then nose, then go back to the eye whenever you're comfortable with it. Just as long as you try to do it more often.  

Answer 5

I do, too.  You're not alone here.  It just comes less naturally for some people.

I'm just terrible at eye contact.  Unfortunately I don't know what to do about this, except practice.

Maybe starting with animals...  sounds a bit silly, but this can help with extreme situations.

Answer 6

I do the same thing but don't see it as a problem.  I've embraced it as one of my quirky personality traits.

Answer 7

Ok. This is very common. One way to get over this phobia is to practice looking someone very close to you directly in the eyes. Try with a sibling, a parent, your best friend. Once you get used to looking them in the eyes, it may make it more comfortable to do with other people.

If this doesn't help, try doing it with yourself in the mirror. As dumb as it may sound, it might do some good.

I'm sorry if neither of these help. It's worth a shot though, right? =)