I have done something I am horribly ashamed of? Is it as horrible as I think?

Question

Ok first I am a happily married woman.Ever since I got pregnant with my last child, my husband doesnt initiate s*x and is always stressed so really has no intrest. He is very unaffectionate, but has always been that way, but no matter we love each other.

This is not an excuse for what I did, but maybe some insight. I got on some chat thing and ended up talking to some guy. I ended up sending him a pic of me, just a normal friendly head shot, and he kept telling me how gorgeous I was, I guess the flattery got the best of me. He kept asking for more pics as we talked, complimeting me all the way, he wanted a boob shot..yeah real nice I know. I ended up sending him a pic of me topless, and immediatly regretted doing it. I feel horrible, like a peice of trash, my guilt is horrendous, I feel like I betrayed my husband, and I am sick over it. I emailed him last night, the second day we were chatting, and told him....this isnt how I am, I'm sorry but i don't want to chat anymore, I'm ashamed of myself, ect. I was also naive enough to let my face be in the boob shot, now I'm terrified it will surface somewhere and my husband and family will find out the horrible thing I did. I begged God to forgive me, after I get answers to this question I'm deleting my whole internet thing... I want nothing to do with it anymore. How terrible am I for what I did? What can I do ?

Answer 1

what you did was the same as cheating on your husband.

you need to tell him what you did.

Answer 2

Okay - you didnt cheat, and u were sorry and regretted it as soon as u did it. Put it to the back of your mind & think of it as a lesson learned - we've all gotta learn them somehow.

And if the pic ever rears its ugly head again - say they took your face from facebook & put it on a topless models pic. It happens all the time.

Answer 3

hmmm.  Well, here is the bottom line if you feel it was wrong, then it was wrong.  

There is something in your relationship that you are lacking a little of, and isn't uncommon.  Here's where a wonderful thing called communications comes into effect.  If you would've communicated your feelings of lacking affection in the first place, he could've given you and probably much more than what this online guy was giving you.

It is your decision to get the guilt off of your chest by talking about it with him....or....don't say anything if you don't want and just go to square 1 and go to your hubby and let him know what you are in need of and what you miss with him.  I'm sure he'll be happy that you came to him and are still interested in him.  Good luck!

Answer 4

Quick do the following:

1.  Convince yuor husband that you should become nudist.

2.  Visit several nudist resorts and beaches.

3.  If the picture surfaces on the internet then you can just blame it on someone taking a pic at one of the nudist resorts.

Problem solved!!!

Answer 5

Well, that was gross.

Of course you tell your husband, everything. Do you really want someone else to tell him this or show him the pic? YOU take responsibility.

Answer 6

What you did was as a result of your unresolved problems at home that you are playing down.  The fact that you sought a chat site means you a looking for something missing in you life.  Ask you husband if he can talk about his problems if any, for how long are you to live with a marriage that  has a non existant communication and s*x life? You will soon seek fulfillment outside your marriage.

If your husband tells you about his problem, and please work stress is as bad fro you and he needs to learn to control it, but he first have to understand he is hurting people closest to him in pursuing money.  

You may opt to go for marriagecounseling where they can teach your husband how to communicate and tethemportance thereof. ( Good luck)

Answer 7

It's pretty bad. All you can do is hope this guy is not a weirdo and post you pic all over the net.

Answer 8

Confront your Husband, Really it sounds like your husband is not makeing you happy sexually, I dont think what you did is wrong, Just seems like you want a man to pay attention to you.  

Answer 9

Everyone makes mistakes in their life no matter what

Take it as a learning experience so you'll know better next time

Start treating your husband and your family right again

Move on

And I'm sure you're not the only one who've made this mistakes

there are millions of others who've gone through the same thing

Answer 10

Honestly I think cyber cheating is worse than physical cheating because it's too easy to get used to on the internet. In real life when you are married it's a little harder to get out and shag without a good excuse... the computer is to easy and too accessible.

Answer 11

keep an eye on rateknockers.com - many peeps post topless pics there

nice cans?

Answer 12

I think you may be blowing it out of proportion a bit. I wouldn't worry about it. People make mistakes which we regret. If I had a dollar for every mistake I made, Bill gates would be borrowing money off me, lol.  You needed a bit of attention which you got. Your husband would still love you, but if he is stressed he may not show it as much. I understand that you need attention, but you may be looking for it in the wrong place.  The internet is not the place for anything meaningful. Don't worry about it, and if the photo shows up just you took a photo of yourself and someone must have obtained it through a computer virus or trojan horse, etc.

Answer 13

We all make stupid decisions and mistakes. I do feel to truly move on you need to ask your husband for forgiveness too -you will never truly be happy again unless you do this and have no more secrets in the closet!

Answer 14

i'm not to old, but i mean, as long as you ask god for forgiveness and promise never to do it again i think that you will be forgiven.

Answer 15

ok, i understand. Its not too horrific, it could have been worse, it was only over internet, dont panic, and stop beating yourself up. Think about the reason you were tempted into doing it, you were desperate for any kind of attention/ affection, and why? because you arent getting it at home.. YOu need to talk to your husband and come clean, apologise, tell him how sick and guilty and horrible it has made you feel, but also explain that you were lonely and werent getting any attention from you, he will be mad, of course, but he should also stop and realise how he has been neglecting you, and that should sort hings out. I hope it works out ok,  

Answer 16

  just chill girl. evrythings ok. it's not like u had s*x wid the guy

Answer 17

definitely not a good idea to tell your husband. the only thing i can say is to try to let it go. you made a mistake that i'm sure (by the way you're freaking out) won't happen again.

Answer 18

first off dont tell ur husband....thatll just p**s him off...u didnt cheat. ur a good person u made a mistake....dont do it again.

u pry shouldn't chat online with strangers anymore...they dream that something like that will happen to them...thats wat they yearn for.

chances are it wont end up somewhere where ull find it on the internet. its good that ur not tlking to the guy anymore...u definately need to completely delete him from ur existence. just forgive urself for wat u did. and trust me itll pass. if it does surface tell him wat happened exactly wat u told us. if hes a good man he'll be mad but he'll understand. to him those are HIS b***s and he doesn't like u showing them to anyone else...just forgive urself and let it pass. if the guilt is to much then tell ur husband but i tell u ull feel better but he wont take it lightly. good luck. itll be fine...u didnt have s*x with anyone or anything

Answer 19

God won't help your bad decision.  What were you thinking?

It's not 'cheating' exactly, but it's disgraceful and mean of you to do something like that.  Imagine how you would feel if your husband asked someone for a picture of them topless.  That's not fun, is it?

It's a big deal and you need to tell him immediately.

Answer 20

OMG...

uhhh, that was rele stupid..

If ur husband isnt affectionate enough for you, TELL HIM!

and hint at him and stuff...

but all i can say is

OH.my.GOD to wot i did

Answer 21

yes it is as horrible as you think it is

Answer 22

You made a mistake - you obviously regret it. If you believe in a god, I'm sure he will have forgiven you. If you still feel guilty, perhaps you should confess to your husband.  He will probably be angry, but if your apology is sincere, he should forgive you in time. Good luck.

Answer 23

There's worse things you could of done. Forgive yourself and live life well.  

Answer 24

well dearie. im glad u really love ur hubby. stop the internet thing particularly exchanging pictures. those guys are dirty. poor u. wish u knew all along. try and delete the whole memory from your mind. and live a new life. and continue to love your hubby

Answer 25

everyont makes mistakes, everybody has those days, everybody knows what what im talking about everybody gets that way YEAH- HANNAH MONTANA!!!

Answer 26

Hopefully that's the worst thing you ever do!

While not the smartest idea, it's not the end of the world. Learn from this mistake and don't do it again.

Unless you want to send that pic to me!  (just kidding)

Answer 27

You were lonely, a guy showed interest, and you made a mistake. You're NOT trash, you're simply human and desired attention. You're sorry for your mistake...now put it to rest! Don't torture yourself any longer.

Answer 28

i'm a guy been married 16 years to the same women what you did is not cheating- but- if i found out about it i would not be happy at all i would -like you said s**+# can  the internet thing- and make sure this thing would not happen again... you might have to spend some -down-time making it up to him if you know what i mean  you better hope the t*t shot don't come up on webshots or flickr- -behave-

Answer 29

get over it, its not a big deal, just forget it and do not tell any one about it.

Answer 30

lol its not like its goin to be on the news or he knows  ur husbands email adress is it?? u got  nothing to worry about. its just skin anyway lol can u give me best answer b4 u delete it?? :)

Answer 31

Yeah, that was pretty stupid. You should go to your husband and try talking about your marriage problems. Forget about that online guy. Never post naked pics online.