I have lost 2 brothers in Iraq. How do I deal?

Question

I support the military and our soldiers. My dad served in the Navy for 22 years and my stepdad retired from the Army after an injury in Iraq a few years back. He served for 27 years. I have 7 older brothers and have lost 2 of them already. Both in Iraq. Another 3 are enlisted. Now, another brother wants to enlist. He and I have always been very close. He is 19 and the closest to my age(I just turned 18). I guess my question is really to other military families, how do you deal? I am so afraid for my brothers and friends. How do you deal with loved ones being overseas?

Thanks for any help!

Answer 1

Find a way to make Bush & Cheney feel your pain.

Answer 2

I have loads of friends in Iraq and Afghanistan right now. I was in some years ago but I got out and they made a career of it. The best thing you can do is keep in touch either through emails, letters, phone calls. Let them know you're there for them and give them a wall to lean on so to speak. You're family sounds a lot like mine with their feeling the need to serve. (1 uncle in Korea, 1 did 2 tours in Vietnam, me,  my brother and cousin all went to Desert Shield/Storm) Support them as best as you can. As for your loss, I'm extremely sorry you lost your brothers. The bleeding hearts may say it was for nothing but they did what they thought was right and that makes their sacrifice right. Be proud of them!! I lost friends not family but it hurts just the same. I still think of them every day. The pain goes away and as long as you remember them they'll never be totally lost. Keep a light heart and never lose hope of their safe return. I hope this helps a bit. it's tough to help folks in these situations without  being face to face.

Answer 3

Its hard for families to deal with. I am currently dealing with trying to help my husband an Bosnian and Iraq war vet deal the PTSD. There are groups out there that might be able to give you some resources in your area, or at the very least people to talk to who have lots loved ones in this war. Whether you support the war or not MFSO (Military Families Speak Out) and Gold Star Families for Peace both might be a good resource for you just to have someone who is dealing with the same thing you are dealing with in the loss of your brothers and the fear of losing more. If you are not against the war just let them know you are just looking for a support group and not interested in the political agenda of their group. They can point you in the direction of a good support group for you or put you in touch with people who are also looking for the same thing.  

Answer 4

I lost my best female friend too.To tell you the truth,ever since i never met a friend like her,i wish i could see her again,she's from lebanon and we used to live in Kuwait in high school.She's missing and till this time,after almost 4 years,i still look for her,maybe she's still alive,i hope.

i miss you ola so much

noor

Answer 5

hello. i am sorry to hear abou your brothers. i am13- my brothers 19 and 20  went iraq about 8 months ago.

       one of thm has died about a month ago.first we kept the things of his that ment the most to us-some of the stuff he loved and put it around the house or just kept it. we only have a few pictures of him on the walls now. but the rest of his stuff we have gotten rid of. to move on.

    hope it helps. good luck (;

Answer 6

Speaking from the other side of the coin, I can tell you that any loss is tough to deal with. How would you feel if you were at war and lost someone at home to a drunk driver? It all boils down to trust and faith. We are geared to hope for the best and expect the worst.

Answer 7

Turn to God, quite frankly.You have no control over your brother's mortality, Army or not. God will comfort you if you take comfort in him.

Also, talk to an Army chaplain at your nearest base. He can help direct you to programs that help military families deal with losing a loved one!

Answer 8

It sounds cliche, but it's really just one day at a time. Cry about it, ignore it, whatever you feel is right.

However, I suggest that you enlist as well. This way, you will have a closer feeling of comraderie and kinship with your brothers. This way you'll know what they went through. This may also help you learn to cope.  

Answer 9

First let me say how sorry I am about your loss.

I understand how you feel I feel the same way every time my husband deploys. It is very hard to deal with the fear and angxiety. The only thing I can do is pray and hold tight to my faith that he will be fine.

However I always make sure to let him know how much I love him and how much he means to me before he leaves.

Be strong and Good luck, I'll say a prayer for both you and your brother.

Answer 10

Many years ago, when I joined the Army, my younger sister had a hard time dealing with me being gone.  We each grieve and adjust in our own special way.  There is no right or wrong way nor can anyone (in my opinion) tell you how you need to deal with it.  You will find a way.    Take comfort that you are not the only to deal with it, and realize that we each live our life the best way we can.  Your family is strong in military tradition...be proud of that and be supportive of your brothers!    Soldiers do not fight because of what is in front of them, but rather they fight for what's behind them!  

My father served in the military for 22 yrs before he retired and now my sister is married to an Army Soldier as well.  

Answer 11

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my own sister (to cancer, not war) and I know what it is like to loose someone close.

I am also a veteran and understand the military...

There is no easy answer. Just be proud of them and know that they are watching over you from heaven...Time is the only thing that will heal the wounds of loosing someone close.

Answer 12

its always hard when you lose someone close, but try to find comfort in the fact that they died hero's

Answer 13

I wish I could give you a better answer than this but just know that those that are serving and those that gave everything while serving were doing what they loved. There are much worse things to give your life on than that