I have no friends , advice appreciated ....?

Question

I'm an 18 year old male . Since the age of about 14 I've suffered from depression , this caused me to gradually lose my group of friends , now I'm left without anybody.

For the last year I've been going to College, I've tried to talk to people but I'm shy to the point where this is extremely difficult. I'm also aware that some people in my classes are wary of me and I may now know why this is .......

I was in class a few months back when two girls where having a hushed conversation about me, one girl whispered to the other, "He's beautiful but he's got no friends" This leads me to think that because they consider me good looking , and normally attractive people have lots of friends ( I have 0 ) I must be a stuck up a*****e . Im too shy to get to know anybody and now I feel like they have all given up trying to speak to me ... has anybody been in a similar situation and can now advise me on how to conquer my shyness ? (and show people im not at all stuck up)

Answer 1

I'm 18 also, I've been in that situation I have depression and social anxiety it was so bad I couldn't talk without shaking, people though I was just a ***** but in reality I was just shy, I realized why am I letting this control my life? I need to change this. If you really have depression I would suggest going on medication. It's changed my life in so many ways, I am more outgoing and I don't panic and I feel like a different person, I look back and think how on earth did I end up that way. I just realized you know what? I have no reason to be shy nobody is better than me, just be friendly and approach people with a smile and you'll make friends. Don't overanalyze just ask simple open ended questions and show interest in other people and they'll love that. I talk to anyone who is willing, I feel like I'm way more outgoing than I have ever been. Just put yourself out there and strike up conversations with people and I guarentee you'll make friends. You just have to be willing and act confident even if you aren't. If I can do it you can too :)

Answer 2

I'm so sorry you suffered from what sounds like a long bout of depression, but well done for getting yourself to college. I know a lot about depression because it runs in my husband's family. One of the worst things about depression is that it makes people self-obsessed and focused on their misery - this is not attractive to potential friends, who would like to feel that you care or are capable of caring about them and their own problems.

My advice is to you is to get involved in activities which involve working with a group of others, where you can talk to them about the activity. It would be great if this was some kind of sport, as physical activity is a well-known antidote to depression. Volunteer work is good too. Anything that gives you something else to think of and talk about besides yourself, and where you can be with the same people on a regular basis and build up a working relationship with them. Anything where people care more about something outside themselves - the sport, the play, the concert, the cause - than they do about themselves would be great for you.

I do NOT mean that you are selfish. But you need to find an interesting external focus (aside from your studies) which can also form a social hub for you. Good luck!

Answer 3

take a laid back approach

Answer 4

i havnt been in a situation where ive had no friends but i have suffered with depression. wen u have depression it is easy 2 shut yourself of from the rest of the world or look unapproachable . do u take anything for your depression cause it might be advisable that u do , or if u do it might not be the right medication 4 u also try counselling speak 2 ur doctor they can put u intouch with one this will help u 2 tlk . there r singles clubs around u could try attending this will meet u new friends or maybe even a partner goodluck and keep ur chin up ,  

Answer 5

allow email, so I can contact u.

and don't worry about it.

Answer 6

you should just try and talk to new people...no matter what they think of you, you should just talk to them....try to open up to people and open up to others...conquer your fears by going out on a limb...start gradual and then work your way up

Answer 7

F*ck people, who needs friends anyway?

Answer 8

ok well i havent suffered depression but i kinda have been in your shoes. in my 8th grade yr. i went thru a part of th yr where i had no friends and i coudnt stand it. mayb you should write a note to the girl that was kinda into you and let her know that our sorry for the way you came off but if she wants to get to know you its all good. mayb from there it can work out for ya. if you dont want to do that maybe you should ask someone for help on class work or watever and from there you can make a friend.

hope i helped.

Answer 9

it's better to have no friends than having bad friends!i mean evil!so search well for good friends who can support you on your bad days ! I think your X friends were not that good because they didn't support you in your sorrow they kept watching until you got in that mood!search well for friends you'll find them one day!smile makes everything possible!be good to people!say things that makes them happy!be yourself!these r the secret ingredients for being friendly and lovable!but don't push yourself to people who don't like you!

Answer 10

ill be 18 in a few week ...i had lots of friends then i moved to another country i was a bit disturbed by all that .i didn want to move so since iv moved more than a year now the only ppl i talk to is my mom n dad n thats wen m in a good mood cuz thats pretty rear.most of the time i feel really lonely i cry alot but crying cant solve any problem ...the only persons i speak to other from my parents r my friends and my siblings that live in my birth country and thats over tha phone.

Answer 11

i'm on the same boat pretty much..i'll be your friend if you'd like

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