I have no friends...?

Question

and I don't go to school, because I'm homeschooled.

Now, how am I supposed to make friends if I'm not around them all day?

I'm not looking for an online friend, but a real friend. A know a few homeschoolers, but they don't seem to like me much. What do I do to become friends with them, or get other friends?

Also, how come girls are so hard to get along with?!!

Maybe I'm just to mature for all the kids I know?

Answer 1

You don't sound more mature. You sound sheltered and babied by your parents. I was roommates with a girl who was homeschooled her whole life (until she got to college); I swear she could not make a friend to save her life; you need practice to be able to do that easily. She was also really awkward around guys. Kinda funny.

I hope your mom lightens up and gives you a chance at a life before it is too late. It wouldn't be that difficult to do some hobby with schooled kids....I'm sure they are doing SOMETHING in your area. Piano/singing lessons? Cooking lessons?

My ex-roommate had to leave college because it was so overwhelming for her and lonely. She ended up getting a degree online instead of the prestigious med degree she was heading towards. Unless you are planning on working at home, you should be getting out socializing way more than you are now.

Answer 2

Well, of course it's harder to socialize when you're not going to school everyday with tons of other kids. But, don't get discouraged--there are PLENTY of places to make friends besides school. And like the answer above said, kids in public school are only worried about stupid and immature things like looks, s*x, drugs, etc.

First of all--be happy that you're homeschooled. You don't have to put up with all the garbage that goes on in regular schools.

Second of all--find out what you like. Do you like art? Music? What are your hobbies? Once you figure out what you like, you can find other kids your age who like the same things by joining classes or groups on those things. If you like sports, then join a team. If you like art, maybe take a pottery class or a photography class. Whatever intrests you. That way, you know you at least have something in common with the other kids as soon as you walk in the door.

Join homeschooling groups too. That will really help because they will have alot in common with you.

Girls are VERY hard to get along with. Get used to it! That's the reason I left regular school was because the girls were so immature and rude and s****. that I just left. I was so sick of putting up with people like that. I wish all my friends were guys. Nothing wrong with having guys that are just "friends" and not boyfriends. Boys don't care about what you wear or all that c**p--they're just fun to hang out with. Maybe find some guy friends if you don't want to put up with girls.

Girls will probably be jealous that all the guys want to hang around you and not them lol...

And you can always email me if you want. I'm homeschooled too :-)

Answer 3

Yeah, girls can be a pain. I'm a 15yr old unschooling girl but I probably have more boy friends (not boyfriends) than girl friends: boys are certainly easier to hang out with and my all-time best mate is a boy.

Where do the kids in your town hang out? Is there a non-homeschooling organisation like Young Farmers or Venturers that you can join? Or do you do any sports? Do you have any part time/volunteer jobs? Do you do any classes at TAFE? What about community groups: theatre groups or working parties or something like that? I don't think there's any easy answer other than you just have to put yourself out there and keep putting yourself out there. Y'know the more people you meet...

Oh and nothing is guaranteed to put off potential friends than the feeling that you're desperate to make friends or that you're trying too hard to be nice/friendly towards them!

Answer 4

'Now, how am I supposed to make friends if I'm not around them all day?'

Easy. Set up your schedule so you're with people. When you're homeschooled, nobody locks you in a room with your agemates but that's hardly an excuse to sit around all day alone.

Join clubs or start one. Join a sports team. Your religious institution probably has a group you can join. Join a teen orchestra. Take classes at a community center. Join a debate team. Start a study group.

You're only socially isolated if you let it happen to you.

There are two important things to remember though:

1: You don't have to like everyone, and everyone doesn't have to like you. Don't feel like you have to be best pals with everyone in a room; it's okay to dislike or be apathetic about the people you're with. If you don't like who you have to pick from, find a new pool of people.

2: In your life, you're going to have about two people who you're really close to, who will always stick around. There will be acquaintances who will come and go, and that never changes. Don't go around looking for someone to spill your guts to. Look for someone you wouldn't mind going to a movie with, or hanging out with after class.

No situation is hopeless.

EDIT: Hmm...well, nothing would stop you from starting a club at your house, right? I don't know how much help I can be, I have a lot of autonomy, and access to public transportation so I don't have an issue with physically getting places. I met all my friends in playwriting classes or theater group. One or two from D&D.

Answer 5

Your mum has to let you do something. Maybe she'll let you join a club if she goes too? SCA (http://www.sca.org) is a good one. Very educational (that might help your mum accept it) being a historical reenactment group and all. Give her this: http://72.14.253.104/search?q=cache:w6kH...

Otherwise, what about getting involved with the St John ambulance, setting up a study club at your local library, or checking out exactly what sports are available in your town. You may not be into netball, but perhaps you could learn fencing instead. If all else fails, tell your mum you need to get out and make some friends, so what are you allowed to do? How old are you? Can you get a part time job? Do some volunteer work?

Answer 6

Sometimes girls can be brutal. If you want to be a friend you must first show your self friendly. Also, don't try to limit yourself to people your own age.  Some times it is easier to make friends with people slightly older or younger than yourself. It is true that after you get out of your teens people tend to blend into one great big group, so try to blend with people now. That is one advantage you have you don't have to socialize with people just your own age.

Answer 7

How are you supposed to make friends if you aren't around them all day? That is your question? You join groups and MAKE friends. If you are not outgoing, believe me school won't change that. My 5 kids are homeschooled and they ALL have friends that they met through various activities such as Ballet, Civil Air Patrol, 2x a week church groups, Homeschool groups.

If you are asking for a way to get closer, how about organizing something...a girls only party? Plan to have food, movies, game and such. Or, organize a dance for your homeschool group-get together a commitee. OR, maybe try organizing a girls day out for all the girls in your group. Plan a "game day" for all the kids in your group.There will be a lot of laughs shared that way, and thus the ice will be broken. Organize a secret gift exchange. It's hard, I am somewhat introverted myself, so I know. But you have to decide whether you want friends or not, and if you do whether you are willing to do the work to get them.

Answer 8

Hi Ave, Lack of social interaction seems to be one of the greatest downfalls of home schooling.  You are probably more mature than some of your acquaintances.  You are definitely right about girls being harder to get along with.  A lot of the young girls seem to have a vampire-like blood thirst.  They aren't happy unless they have brought someone to the point of tears.  Usually it is because of their own lack of self confidence.  Anyway, join a club!  4-H, Girl Scouts, sports team, church group, I live in southern Utah.  We have a few home schooled kids in town.  They are always invited to join the volley ball, basket ball, baseball, swim team and any other young person's activity.  Go to your pool or park and hang out with the kids your age.  If you have a pet, check out the pet events in your community and go participate.  Volunteer at your hospital, retirement home, library or start your own club.  It is refreshing to see someone young be discriminating about whom they will call friend.  Let us know how you are doing.

Answer 9

There should be a local homeschool group near where you live, or you could go on a local message board (online, of course, and with your mom's help) and post saying, "I'm x years old, I'm homeschooled, I like x". Just don't share anything too identifying or personal.

Answer 10

your mom should help you to access clubs, etc (Girl Scouts, sports, etc)

One of the debates against home schooling is the lack of socialization for the child...it sounds like you are going through that.  I am sure you are mature- the few home schooled children I know are very mature....but the "price" of that is (in my experience) the home school child can come across as misbehaving, spoiled...traits that other children are not going to seek out in a friend...

try to get involved in some local activities...after some time you will find yourself making friends- good luck!

Answer 11

Join a sports team like basketball or take a class like dance, or join a club like girl scouts, big brother big sister, book club, etc.

Answer 12

ok, the thing that made me answer your question is "how come girls are so hard to get along with?" lol

i never hung out with other girls either cuz all they did was giggle & talk about s*x all the time. s*x is good yes...but its gets boring if its talked about 24/7 ya know what i mean?

even now that im 27 i have a more boyfriends (as FREINDS not lovers) than girlfriends, some of them are g*y. some of them SHOULD be g*y...lol

for me the reason why its harder to hang out with gfs than bfs is cuz the girls did girl talk all day; whereas, i used girl talk for only serious things that were important to me. boys however, rarely have "boy talk" when there's a girl around so, as friends, they were more natural to get along with. the problem though as i grew up into a woman, the young men started hoping to be more than what i want, which is why i started latching onto g*y men. lol

now as to your lonely situation, its actually quite easy to make friends. i was homeschooled myself & i had a fair number of friends. the best thign about homeshooling is you usually finish in a few hours & have the rest of the day to yourself. i could even go to the school around 2 or 3 & meet the neighbors kids when they came out.

also, i was part of a few groups. i had swimming & piano lessons, did a martail arts a couple evenings a week & also have horse-riding lessons.

joining a group like this might even lead to a career. like for me, i want to be a show-jumper so i stick to my riding lessons. lol

so try joining a group like that & forget about kids that dont  WANT to get along with YOU cuz they're worthless & dont require your time. its their loss & you'll find someone better.

Answer 13

No offense but your parents seriously suck if they are homeschooling you.  You are missing out on so many important social situations and life experiances.  School is partly acedemics and partly skills that you need to learn to function in society, such as in a work environment, etc.

As far as friends go, do you live in a neighborhood with kids your age?  Skatepark?  Any extra curricular activity that interests you is a great way to meet kids.  This can be horseback riding, sports, etc.  Get involved in anything at this point to meet people and develop your social skills.  Don't worry about whether they like you, just be yourself and the rights friends will come along

Answer 14

Well, you could make friends the way everyone else on the planet does, by doing things. My kids (and myself!) have made friends through visiting public library, taking classes, engaging in volunteer work, shopping in new places.

Also, when you engage in things you enjoy, things that make a difference, you are much  more likely to have in common those things that are important to you. Those friends are going to be better than a bunch of teens that you don't particularly like. Age doesn't matter, it's an artificial construct created by the public school system as  a way to segregate children and make education easier.

Answer 15

Be at peace with yourself.  When I was in school everyone was an idiot and always tried to be influential, usually in a bad way.  I looked for things I could do alone;  People seem to have more respect for someone who has their own ideas, thoughts, trends etc., than someone who is easily led or depends on other interaction.  Don't rush yourself in trying to find something that isn't trying to find you.  Buy a dog, they're very loyal and don't talk back.

Answer 16

Get around, hang out near where kids you like hang out, try to fit in, but not so much that you change.

Answer 17

well i'm getting homeschooled also i can be an online friend but idk other than that

Answer 18

That's your family's fault.  And they'd hinder your school friends as well.  They'd never let you see them outside of school.  That's THERE doing.

How much would you see AT school, 80 minutes TOPS a day, 5 days a week.

Is that FRIENSHIP.

Friendship is going to movies, going shopping, going to the mall, hanging out.

You're PARENTS obvioiusly won't let you hang out IN or OUT of school.

You'll have to wait until you're older and then go out and defy them.  NO parent can STOP you from going outside in the daytime on weekends.  It is basically ILLEGAL unless they can PROVE you are a deliquent.

You can even go to court over the matter once you are 15 or 16.

Once you are 16 and it is saturday you can get on a bus and go anywhere you like during daylight hours.

Once you are 18 it is a RIGHT

You can LIVE at home at age 18 and HAVE THE RIGHT to go where you want to meet who you want to and spend time with them 24 hours if you want.

And the COURTS will support you on this.

You can't INFLICT it on your parents.  You can't bring people over, but you can go out and do as you please.

To be frank, friendship, especially in younger years, is OVER RATED

Friends are people who like you as is and are not using you to suppliment their needs but to enjoy you in addition to their needs.

Most people  have FEW friends they knew prior to age 18.

Most of our friends are older and self-reliant

THe younger ones go off in their own direction and leave you because you don't follow their direction.

They are often lemmings

So don't worry.

Answer 19

I had the exact life like that before a month ago.

I'm 14, and i'm at college.

Before that month, i've been homeschooled for two years and had no friends. Try asking your mum if you could go to college, my life really is different now.. from having no friends to getting four guys numbers in two weeks.

Answer 20

home schooled kids are more mature....you probably will not find much in common with perversely socalized public school kids they are all about s*x, durgs, music, and relationships I encourage you to be  better than all that....you can go to church or enroll in  a sports team just be wise and be careful the company you keep....you will make a friend. find some local people on line involve your parents and get aquainted

Answer 21

omg i had the same problem. i got homeschooled for only two years and it sucked cuz i didnt have any friends till i joined a volleyball and basketball team. and i loved it. i got awesome friends but mainly they were guys and i always got teased to but who cares i think guys are better then girls anyways lol but  now i go to a christian school its not that bad but i got a lot of new friends and their all guys too lol. but i hope you make some friends

Answer 22

Okay the most immature statement ive seen today is "Maybe I'm just to mature..."

anyways, my school has a few homeschooled children that are in our schools band.

Answer 23

VOL-UN-TEER!  Find a worthy cause in your area and go for it!  You will make your parents proud, you will be benefitting the community, the environment, etc.  The cool thing is, if your mom will not let you go alone, then you just volunteered 2 people!  :)  Your cause could be ANYTHING!  Maybe you want to help clean up a local park or waterway.  Maybe you want to help at a no-kill animal shelter in your area.  Maybe you want to be a candystriper at the local hospital.  If there is not a program that you want to get involved with, then start one!

You can also do food drives for a local shelter, make blankets for soldiers, collect money for Unicef, join a running group, get in shape and then train for a marathon, start babysitting to earn a little money for college, and MANY more things.

All of these things will get you involved with the community and you will find 2 interesting things happening.  You will find that you have friends of all shapes, sizes, and colors (and even other ages!!! gasp!).  Also, you will find that stupid, mean girls DO NOT MATTER!  J

ust as an inside scoop, there are stupid, mean girls your WHOLE LIFE, no matter how old you get.  Highschool is over when you graduate, but the high school mind-set, in small towns all over the US, never goes away.  It is sad and repulsive and I feel sorry for those who never grow past it.

Hang in there.  If you are old enough (over 14 or so) you can take classes at a college (which would be in addition to your homeschooling) and would introduce you to some other people who may be focused on something other than parties and boyfriends, etc.

Show your mom this list of possible solutions and let her choose something.  Tell her it is either she chooses some activities for you to particiapte in or you will.   :)  Kind of puts the ball in her court.  Seriously, print out the WHOLE thread.  

Hugs,