I have no friends....should I transfer??

Question

I am going to a big university in Florida, I transferred from a small community college. In the small community college I had friends in my classes but no friends outside of school. So I thought you know I should probably transfer to a big institution after I'm done at community college because out of the 45000 people who go here I HAVE to make at least one REAL friend right? I also moved into an on campus apartment and figured I'd make friends with my roommates as well. So far I'm completely alone. For the past week or so I've been stuck in my room with nothing to do, but somehow my roommates who are international students and don't even know complete english always have somewhere to go, some kind of party, or somewhere to hang out, while I'm the loser who can't even make friends in his own country. What is the matter with me? What should I do? Maybe I have some kind of social disorder that I don't know about? I'm just so tired of being the one people think of as "the smart one" you know for once I wanna make my OWN friends and go out and party like other people my age do. I've tried to join clubs but they don't even start for new members for a month and a half. I even went so far as to sign up to rush for a fraternity (which is not something anyone who knows me would ever think I would do). I'm thinking of transferring to a school that's farther away or something because there might be more transfer students who are completely alone too. I even go on random walks by myself just to kill time. One time when I was coming back from the bookstore some guy asked me if I wanted to play frisbee and in my head I said yes but what came out what "sorry I can't"...again I ask can someone please tell me what is wrong with me....I just don't wanna be alone anymore. Please someone help me??!!...I feel like crying and I'm a guy who hasn't cried since I was like 10....

Answer 1

jus try n talk to people n break the "smart one" image.

jus be urself. maybe ur jus a kind of extreme introvert, try n make some friends.

Answer 2

hey

you really have to make more of an effort, when your out on your walks, stop and talk to people, and socialize...thas the only way you'll make frends...and give it some time as well...wait till classes start and start making frends there as well....everything will be fine...juss tke more initiative and take the first step to introduce yourself to other people...good luck my friend!

Answer 3

Been there, im not a very social person who can get along great with everyone and make friends wherever I go Im always nervous around new people and dont really know what to say or how to act but let me tell you something the easiest way is to be yourself in an un-inhibited way! that mwans just be yourself and dont think about what people will think of you becoz it seems that youre a nice guy. when i first entered college i knew no one i would wander off alone but when i decided that i had NOTHING to lose and just be myself i was shocked that more people were interested in me and i made 4 really good LIFELONG friends! they have been my best friends for 3 years now and were really close

My advice to you is be yourself and dont think about it! i know it may sound a bit cheesy but thats the truth, try having a little sip of vodka when u go somewhere to loosen you up hehe for real

Good luck and if you feel that people at your college see you in  one particular way "the smart guy" i would consider tranferring but consider other option s first coz it seems a little severe  

Answer 4

Stop transferring, you will lose too much credit.  You need to get active.  Join a few select clubs and organizations, you will find more people that have the same likes and dislikes that you have.  Look into clubs in your major and or fraternity.

Stop transferring, that will not solve your problem, it actually makes it worse.  Give it time.  What you are looking for is already there,  just open your eyes.

Answer 5

Honey, LEAVE YOUR ROOM.

Not everyone can be friends with their roommates. You have to go out there and meet new people. New people will invite you places.

Forget clubs. Go sit with someone new at lunch. Make a friend in class. Play frisbee. If there isn't a game, start one. Go to the gym and talk to someone there.

I promise you'll make friends if you put out effort and act like a reasonable human being. Please don't transfer. Good luck.

Answer 6

Don´t throw in the towel just yet. Sometimes a situation like this, that makes you feel so desperate, is just the catalyst you need in order to make a big change in your life! You mentioned the thought of transfering somewhere where there are other lonely people, to make frriends...but for sure out of 45,000 right where you are, there must be some other lonely person for you to make friends with! Be on the look-out, not to make yourself happy, but to make someone else happy! It´s like a law of nature, only it´s a spiritual law, that if you give love, you get love back. That if you make others happy, happiness will find you! Try it, today! Don´t wait another minute! Get out there and find someone you can help! Good luck to you!

Answer 7

sound like you,re being avoid to the cool people because you,re afraid to somehow get in trouble , right ?   why not go out to bowling and challenge people there , easy to make friend there !  or go hang out to the bar and start talking ?  the few drinks will lose you up a little and talking flexible ?   or go to church and meet people there !  there are many ways to search for a friend !   don,t stay home too often and work on your computer all day long ?  

Answer 8

yer of course you dont want to have a boring life with no friends.

or theres another solution.

go play a sport you get heaps of friends

Answer 9

Staying in your room won't help. Get out and mingle with others. There has to be a couple there you see most of the time,strike up a conversation,make new friends. Someone has to take that first step & utter the first words,it might as well be you.

I live in a small town, have neighbors I also am a licensed amateur radio operator. If it weren't for computer,radio & music (I listen to music also), I'd go totally berserk. Having epilepsy is no picnic.

I know what you mean,since the bicycle was taken away (my vehicle), I've gone down hill,gained 40 lbs. went from a size 30 waist jeans to a 38. The energy has gone way down hill.

At 44 years old, I've been treated like a 4 year old for over 14 years. As far as the crying goes, I lost a friend about 4 years ago,I still mourn.She was 20 at the time,not being allowed to ride a bike anymore, my health has gone down hill, I experience depression more often,but household members don't care about that.

Answer 10

I used to have this same prob but you shouldn't just stay im your room alone just bc you dont have anyone to hang with go out and maybe you will meet someone go places that intrest you so when you do meet someone yall will have things in common and don't be so quick to say no im just learning that one.

Answer 11

awww, you don't have to transfer, florida is a place that many people want to go to, u should stay there, get out of your shell, start making conversation first, if you want to accept something, an offer, a game, just say what you think, don't hesitate, don't be shy, university is where you can make real friends, but definitely try not to get too much attention,

if not, you can join a club, thats how people make friend, and build their network, the campus is too big, clubs are smaller, u will get attention, the officers will pay attention to you and introduce you to other people if you're a new member

Answer 12

Maybe try joining some clubs your bound to make friends. Try going out for a walk around campus instead of sitting in your room there is bound to be people wandering around too. Dont worry either there are plenty more people in the world in the same situation you havent got a social disorder your just out of practice. good luck to you

Answer 13

I think you should consider therapy - you sound clinically depressed to me. When you said no to the frisbee guy, I got the strong impression that you were afraid to "fail" - meaning, threatened by the idea of being exposed as yourself. Please don't consider transferring - all that will happen is that your insecurities will follow and you'll feel worse because moving didn't help. You may have been snubbed as 'the smart one' in the past because younger people don't have another way of putting it. I think you've always been the shy, insecure one who's also very smart! There's no shame in that! That was me in high school and younger, but once I hit junior college I decided to take classes I enjoyed (creative writing and photography) and found plenty of friends based on shared interests. Forget the elitist frats and the clubs that don't start right off. That just fosters feelings of rejection which contribute to insecurity. Pick a real interest, find a class or informal group surrounding it, and jump in. And seriously, consider therapy. It made a gigantic difference for me. Best of luck, and I hope you'll keep me posted!  

Answer 14

<:/

I've been there sort of.

I'll say a prayer for you, hopefully you'll make new friends:)

Answer 15

i'm in the exact same situation! well... not exactly but im 13 and just started secondary school i have like 1 best friend and 2 friends the rest i just "hang out" with if you know what i mean. i get asked stuff like in your case "wanna play frisbee" a lot but some how i sub conciously avoid people when i really wanna be there friend i think you just need to put yourself out there more. well... that's what everyone tells me.

Answer 16

NO you should not transfer due to lack of friends.   You are attending this university to get a good education not to accumulate friends.  Friends will come in time, as you continue to settle into the college and get involved with clubs and activities.  From here on in you must maintain a positive attitude about yourself and your situation, for holding on to the negative will only attract the same.

Perhaps what I am saying may be easier said than done, but rest assure that there are others at the university just like you, you are not alone.  It takes time to adapt to a new environment.  We have all been there and you will be fine.   Stay positive, stay focused and remember the big picture - you are there for an education that will assist you in achieving your life goals, what ever they may be.

Remember, focus on the positive, you are the "smart one," and everyone needs a smart friend.

Good Luck.

Answer 17

aw

you should cry

and also

you should make friends

idk why didnt you say yes

just randomly talk to people and smile