I have only been married for 5 years, I am 25 years old and my husband will not allow me to do anything....?

Question

all he wants me to do is cook, clean, stay home, and have kids. I have 3 kids now all under the age of 5 and am going to have another in 2 months. He says this is the way its suppose to be, and that I should be thankful that someone would marry me. You see I lost my lips in a fire down at the saw mill and he says I look ugly. What should I do..? stay with him or leave?

Answer 1

Are you serious about the lips thing? If you are I am sorry.  Your husband sounds like a real winner! Teach him a lesson and find someone else who is interested. I don't recommend an affair because that goes against my morals and values...but make him jealous. Let him see other men adore you. I bet there are other men who do. Find one and flash him around. He should not call you ugly and what he should be doing is like any good husband should..trying to make you happy and treat you like a person. I am a mom and i have a wonderful husband. He helps me cook and clean when I am tired. I also work during the day and it gives me a sense of self worth and value.  You need a man that can see you for a human being and not a step ford wife. This is the year 2008. We are not on Little House on the Prairie.  There are good men out there who love to make their women happy and yes you can find one. There is time invested in every marriage and i hate to see you lose your hubby but he cannot treat you like a slave. It is not healthy for you. No one can tell you to stay or leave but just make sure he knows how this hurts you.

Answer 2

No decent husband would say something like that to his wife, no matter what she looks like. Tell him how you feel the way you just told us, and insist on marriage counseling. If he refuses to go with you, go alone.

Answer 3

You should leave as soon as possible, unless you want to be miserable for the rest of your life. I know that sounds trite but that's what I think.

Answer 4

I think its not the year 1923 and you have rights and you should use them i meen if you love him and you love the life your in then stay with it but other wise you should do what you want i know you have 3 kids but look what he does to you can you image what he will do to your kids no offense . I'm sure your not ugly and i think he has a control problem and think like this the situation might get worse what if you don't listin he might beat you and your having a kid what if you have a miscarriage do what you feel it right but if i were you i would leave i know its hard but you have to do whats right for you and your kids

Best of luck  :)

Answer 5

Why would he marry you without lips?

Stay and be thankful that someone............wait a minute.  Which lips did you lose?

Answer 6

And yet he allows you to ask and answer questions on YA. Quite often.

Answer 7

If he is putting you down, you need to tell him to stop. He should not be making comments that make you feel bad.

If there is something that you want to do after you have your baby, you should have the freedom to do so.

Answer 8

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and your husband must have thought you beautiful at one time or he wouldn't have married you, unless you had MONEY.  Did you have money?  My suggestion is...well I have two, you can either put those cuffs on you husband and teach him how it is or you can leave him and come live with me, but leave those kids with him, that'll teach him.  So will I be seeing you soon?

Answer 9

Lost your lips in a fire? That sucks. I mean, it sucks for you, not that you can or uh.... pregnant huh? Congratulations. You're a regular baby factory. Have you thought about telling him to beat it? I mean leave?  And don't worry about your looks sweetie, some of my best friends lost their lips in fires and they do all right. Just don't ask them to whistle, they're touchy about that. And I'll never make the mistake of asking if they want a straw again. i think I'll shut up now.

Answer 10

When you worked at the jigsaw mill it's a pity you didn't have insurance.  When you lose your lips, the claims agent helps you look for them.   But as things stand, you better stand by your man.  Most guys wouldn't tolerate the drivel (both verbal and salivary).

Answer 11

you dnt deserve that to be treated that way you sound is that ur really great women thats got put in a bad situation and maried a guy that does not deserve you. afer having kids ur not gunna look like u were n ur prime and that ok ur still beautiful. if he can love you just because of ur trajedy  then he is not the man for you. Everyone is faced  with bad things in there life and is upseting that this had to happen to you i am so sawry and if you need someone to talk to u im here for u!

Answer 12

That is horrible that he would say something so cruel to you. He does not sound like a very good person at all. I think he says those things out of fear that you actually WILL leave him...which you should.

Answer 13

You have to realize the situation you've put yourself into. He didn't wake up one morning after a drastic transformation over night, and change his views of you and what our marriage means to him. There had to have been signs he was like this prior to your marriage and during the birth of your first child. When you saw he was crazy you should have split a long time ago. But, now that you've dug yourself into a hole with this man, you can either:

A. Lay down your rules, and tell him that you're going back to school, get an education and start a career for yourself

B. Divorce him, and leave him, allowing him to have partial custody of the kids, because I didn't read any where that he's physically abusive. And move on with your life for the betterment of your children.

C. stick with him until the kids get older and leave.

No one can make you do anything you don't want to do (not even him). If you want get a job, get a job. If you don't, then don't. It’s up to you. But a word from the wise, use protection to prevent future pregnancies now, in order to keep yourself form having 5 kids with a man that could care less about you (and maybe even his kids). We can't tell you what to do here. You have to make up your mind what you feel is best for you and your children. You have to find the confidence with in you needed to pull yourself together and get away from this man. No one deserves to be talked too and treated like that. You're not his baby making machine, and you're not his maid. But you have to make up within your mind what you feel your worth is. Not what someone else tells you it is.

Answer 14

How'd you lose your lips in the fire?  Were you trying to blow it out or something?

Answer 15

You should leave him because any guy who would be so spiteful to a woman just because she has had tragedy happen to her despicable.

Your self esteem is so low that's why he has control and power over you. Leave him and take the kids with you.

How old is this creep?

Answer 16

^

^

^

if you dont have a cellar, use Vals

Answer 17

My guess would be that he's uglier than you could EVER possibly be. He should be  thankful anybody would even get close to him.  

And no what he's saying is NOT the way things are supposed to be.

Answer 18

lips are over rated anyway. however, he can use his when you tell him to kiss your @ss   ; )

Answer 19

get a can of gas and put it on his a** and see how he likes that $h*t.

Answer 20

Well, if I didn't know any better I would think you were talking about my marriage, minus the lips thing, of course. I kicked my husband's a$$ out and he freaked the h**l out and ended up with a restraining order against him, which he has repeatedly violated to the point that he is now on house arrest. Even though I'm scared and I haven't worked in 4yrs. (since I had our 3rd child), I'd pick this any day over being back with his psycho dickface! Get out! While you still can, s***w what he says about you, he's just trying to make you feel like you can't get anyone else...but you can...we all heart u! Good luck and email if you need to! BTW: since mine is gone, I have an entire cellar you'd be welcome to lock his a$$ in if need be...

Answer 21

What your husband is doing to you is domestic abuse, and it needs to stop.  If you can't get him to agree to stop and actually do it, you need to get out of this relationship.  It's not good for your children to see their mother get treated this way by their father, and it's not good for you to be with a man who is so disrespectful to you.

Answer 22

Id say that... Marriage is for people who want to be owned.

I'd also say that. If you truly are ugly, you'd still be better off alone than with an a*****e.

Thats my honest opinion.

Coming from the perspective of a vain, honest, and immoral person as myself.

Answer 23

leave him

Answer 24

He should appreciate you no matter what.  He knew your situation before he married you.   If he doesnt respect you then I feel you have no marriage.   I really hope things get better for you.  I am so sorry.

Answer 25

Troll

Answer 26

OMG....nobody deserves that and you certainly don't.

Do you have family you can stay with? You need to get away from this man as soon as possible before her permanently poisons your mind. Your place is wherever you want to be, not where he tells you.

Any man that would say something that horrendous doesn't deserve to be in a relationship...and trust me you can do a lot better.

Answer 27

This is why so many young people get divorced: they don't discuss what they want out of life.  They don't make plans.  They put more effort into choosing a vacuum cleaner.  Why did you get married anyway?  Why are you cranking out kid after kid?

I know yer just a-trollin'

Answer 28

Yikes.. she is trying to control you. Not a good situation

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