I have raised me son from birth on my own and now his father wants joint custody. He wasn't around for my

Question

pregnancy or the first year of my son's life. His past included drugs, he served time in jail for a DUI. He say's he's been clean for almost a year but I don't trust him to be alone with my son. Will he get joint custody?

Answer 1

Maybe.  Get a lawyer.

Answer 2

he would at least get visitation initially  

Answer 3

BTDT....although I am a man that has custody of his daughters, my ex-wife had the drug and alcohol problem.  

Keep in mind, no matter how you feel, your son will always want to know his father and will love his father no matter what.  

Having BTDT, No one wins in family court battles except lawyers, judges and the like who need you to take things like this to court to help pay for their homes and cars. The more you fight the better they like it. It is Job Security for you to take that "I don't care, I don't my ex to see/have my kids." stand.  Make no mistake, that stand will damage your children.  

If he is worthy of custody visits, he has the right to them.  If he is not, eventually your son will recognize that and will not want to go.  Likewise, your ex will eventually pass on them as they will get in the way of his lifestyle choices.  

If your son is living in the right circumstances now, your son will make the best choice for himself later.  It is best if your son's dad can be a part of his life and you can support that relationship if your son in not in danger.

If you can, and not saying you aren't now, just be sure to be honest and mature about it.  Leave vindictivness out of it.  Think with your head.

My ex-wife was absent 2 years from my daughters lives and in and out for several more.   Actually went back to court for custody and won......only to drop them back off 6 months later.  My daughter's missed their mom and asked to live with her.  They thought they could save her.

Sadly, they want nothing to do with her now.  I actually I try to get them to stay in touch with her.  She is still their mom.  She just has problems.

Good luck

j

Answer 4

No, get a good attorney for this and point it all out and document it!

Answer 5

See a Lawyer, go for sole custody with visitation rights for his father.

If you have to, explain why you don't want his father to have joint custody.

Next time, select a nice, responsible, sober man to father your child, not a druggie, ex-con.

Answer 6

I doubt it - you have to get a lawyer though.

I would have him send letters to the kid - or have supervised meetings for about a year - and if that goes well - then you can approve more visits

Answer 7

He most likely will. You can not keep a child away from their parents. I understand that you have raised your child from birth, but maybe the father is truly trying to better himself. Why deny your child the right to have a relationship with his father? Maybe you should suggest supervised visits until you feel comfortable with his parenting skills.  

Answer 8

If the father is not listed on the birth certificate as the father,  he has to prove paternity by some means other than a blood test.  IE,  he previously admitted he was the father to witnesses.   If you have any proof he denied being the father in front of witnesses,  it will be almost impossible for him to claim it now.  

Also,  you need to find out what the state has set as the minimum in child support.  If he is going to claim to be the father, you can point out he has to start paying you money.   He may want the money more than the kid.

Get a good lawyer.  

Answer 9

He will have to take drug tests and so on to prove that he's been clean for a year. If he hasn't he wont get custody, if he has been clean, then you should agree that he's atleast trying.

Kids raised without a father figure are almost always screwed up, in fact, they're more screwed up than if they have a drugged up alcoholic who beats them as their father. So as long as he isnt a child molester, or murderer, I suggest sharing.