I have reached ultimate level of not giving a c**p?

Question

For the last decade I was satisfied with apathy alone, but now I've reached a level below apathy where I feel like absolutely nothing matters. I've been living off of my savings for the past 8 months and could for the same amount longer. I have no intentions of returning to work, stopped paying a few bills and eating to a degree.

Also, I've always felt that even if I won the lottery I would still wonder when the day would end so I can just sleep. I'm as emotionless as it gets and I just don't care. Have you reached a level beyond this?

Answer 1

You have given up on yourself. There is one level below where you are at. That level is when you are totally frustrated and disgusted with the world and its pitiful inhabitants. Then you become like Tim McVeigh or Charlie  Manson.  

Answer 2

Mmm, nah.. you haven't. Why? Well, if you had, you wouldn't even be interested in knowing (wouldn't be asking this for instance).

But maybe you will. Who knows...

Anyway, I sort of envy you, sometimes I want not to give a c**p about anything, but when I look at the worried faces of those who care about me, they just convince me to keep on.

Whether they tell you that what you are feeling is good or wrong, don't pay attention, what you are feeling is not good nor wrong, it's just you.

As I said, you haven't reached the ultimate level. So, if somehow you want to, I think that keeping on like you have this years would be enough.

If you don't want to, well, you said you have dodged relationships for 5 years for the sole purpose of not bringing someone else to your level. That means you care a bit about others, so, you could use that to your advantage.

Anyway, whatever you decide, let it be your own decition, and take the time to be sure.

Goodbye, and good luck

Answer 3

Dude, you're either depressed or all used up.  

Answer 4

no, but i'm not dead yet either.

Answer 5

I'm about there, sometimes!  I was on meth for about 25 years!

Ever since I quit, I have no motivation and don't care if anything gets done.  I do as little as I can get away with!  I don't work at all.  I am just waiting to die!~  Are you there yet?

Answer 6

Sounds like a pity party that should have ended awhile ago. What works for me is crying all night, then calling whoever is pissing me off the least at the time. I feel like you feel sometimes, but it lasts a few hours, tops, where I say everything I think about someone, then go back to my "No, nothing could ever make you look fat" speaking.

Answer 7

It sounds like you are in a very dark, negative place, and my heart goes out to you.  

My greatest suggestion to you, especially if you are not working and have a little time on your hands, is to get the book The Secret.  It is the book that changed my life. I was in such a negative place, I felt lonely, and trapped, with no way out, and no future ahead.  This is a process, and to start with you have to want to change your life for the better.  

Perhaps this time of you not working should be spent on you discovering yourself, and making changes that you have always wanted to do, but could not put forth the time, energy, or effort to do so.  

It would also be good for you to have someone you completely trust to just vent to. Someone who will not judge you based on your life, past, and experiences, just someone who is there to offer support. This will give you the opportunity to let it all out... all of your pain, fears, weaknesses, hopes, dreams, etc... and when you get all of that stuff out there... you can make more sense of your world, and who you are in it.  

I wish you the best of luck!

Thanks for reading!

Answer 8

Absolutely, then I came to a crossroads, I someone told me this story.  A guy was walking down the street then he saw a hole and fell in it, after a long while he got out of the hole.  A few days later, he saw the hole and fell back in it and recognized the hole but did not know how to get out of it but eventually he did.  A few days later, he saw the hole and fell back in it and recognized the hole but was able to get out of the hole much quickly than before.  A few days later, he saw the hole and went around it.  You are in the hole.  The most important things in your life have passed away or too difficult to deal with at present.  You only have yourself to be accountable to is a paradox.  There are people who care about you.  Hold on to what you can.  I would recommend that you call a doctor and/or counselor to check this numbness you express as not giving a c**p may be depression or apathy it depends.  Better to check it out, in the end you are worth it and you will still be accountable for your bills and the like even if it just turns out to be a case of crappy depression.  Take care and God bless you.  You are not alone in this!

Answer 9

Seek psychological help....your in full depression.....or burn out. If you are comfortable at that level...then its you level....everybody is just a spectator...it is up to you to decide......no matter how low you think you can go...you cannot stop having the capacity to say yes or no.

Answer 10

well, i would define this emotionless state as depression, but only you can make it that way. if you think it is depression, it is, and i cant tell you either way. what i am wondering is if the question is wheather i have reached a point beyond this, or if the question is how to fix it... if you consider it a problem. the only time i was like this at all was on the worst day of my life. i went so far past everything that i could have thought that i did not exist. i couldnt tell that i was alive, or even if the world existed. my day had went like this- my great grandmother died, my grandpa died, and my house burnt, all in one day, in less than 12 hours. i was not upset, i was just simply alive... at least i think i was... i had no feelings, no thought, no nothing. other than that, no, i have not experienced it. if you are looking for a way to 'cure' it, yet again, only if you think it is a problem, you will have to do it yourself, and everybody can only give advice to do so. the only way i can see to do anything about it is to (and i know, this will sound fairly stupid, and perhaps annoying) think. if you want to change yourself, you will have to think, and change the way you do so. if you think that everything is bad, you would have to change the way you think, and in turn, change the way you percieve things. if you are just not actually living, you need to decide why you arent, and then change it. honestly, one of the problems (the way i see it, which doesnt matter since you are the one that has to really see and change it, if you want to) is that you are absorbed in yourself. you are not seeing the bigger picture, that involves you AND the rest of the world. yeah, you may be alive, and that would be all that mattered (or didnt matter...) but the rest of the world would be affected by it, even in a small way. the way i look at it (yet again, it does not matter what i think if you are the one going to do anything about it) you need to return back to life and reality, rather than your little world in which you dont care. you need to think. you need to know inside your head that life is worth living, and that it would be a shame to waste your life not enjoying it, because (as far as i or anybody else knows) you can only live it once. there are no re-do's no time outs, and no pause buttons... or an easy button at that, although it would be welcome at times... i am not sure if it would help your 'predicament' if you see it that way, but all of this is coming from a 13 year old girl. if i were you, i would see that as pretty bad... stuff like this, that is so blatantly obvious is from what everybody pictures as a kid. i dont want to insult you or the way you think, but just because the world will turn, with or without you, doesnt mean you shouldnt take part in it.

i hope you learn to enjoy the rest of your days.

-Angel

Answer 11

No. And even at that level you consider to be so low....you still breathe...you are still alive. Perception is the only factor at work here. What you consider to be your own personal nadir, could for someone else be seen as their apex.  

Answer 12

the level ' beyond that' would be to realize you never had meaning to begin with, so your ' not giving a c**p' (which is still an emotion because it centers you as something important, which is why you care to ask, because it is affecting you) is merely a tapping into your meaninglessness, you didnt lose meaning, you never had it to begin with. your meaningless space taker existence just is, the reason you never knew, is because the of the illusion. and when you can figure out how to get that to balance with your consciousness. then i guess you have gone some where 'further'

really there is no where to go, where ever you are is where you are at.

but wait there is more

you are still in despair, cause you think there is some thing to give a c**p about, because how can you not give a c**p, if the there is nothing to to give a c**p about to begin with. i think you are creating an idealistic illusion for your self. emotions are apart of your biology. "oh BS" you are saying probably. but i did the same. i stood on the middle ground and thought i was indifferent to emotion, i was wrong. take all parts of your existence equally as they appear, rather than wanting them to appear in a certain way. you still sit on your computer for some reason. you entertain your self for some reason, though that reason is set by your self, and due to your current delusion you fail to see it. stop seeking and realize what is already here. it will be alright

Answer 13

nope .......im still young

Answer 14

In the inner experience of man, mind is joined to matter. Such material-linked minds cannot survive mortal death. The technique of survival is embraced in those adjustments of the human will and those transformations in the mortal mind whereby such a God-conscious intellect gradually becomes spirit taught and eventually spirit led. This evolution of the human mind from matter association to spirit union results in the transmutation of the potentially spirit phases of the mortal mind into the morontia spirit realities of the immortal soul. Mortal mind subservient to matter is destined to become increasingly material and consequently to suffer eventual personality extinction; mind yielded to spirit is destined to become increasingly spiritual and ultimately to achieve oneness with the surviving and guiding divine spirit and in this way to attain survival and eternity of personality existence.