I have serious confidence issues and slowly it's destroying me

Question

i have the best friends ever, but i'm not in the popular crowd and some of the bitchy girls look down on me and make cruel remarks, it really gets to me i mean why do they do it?!?!

i also blush loads and some people pick up on this and will all ask me personal stuff and laugh as i go red, it's a really degrading feeling. I just go really really red if someone i don't know speaks to me and idk why

i just feel so low and it's stopping me from enjoying myself

please help

Pippa

x

Answer 1

People can be cruel what can I say. I remember this stupid movie I saw a while ago called mean girls and it sounds like your situation. Try standing up for yourself though, you do have an opinion.

Answer 2

I am guessing that you are most likely in junior high or high school.

Kids tend to be like that.  However, things really change a lot as you get older.  I think you find that time and life bring the bitchy girls down a few pegs.

I wouldn't worry about not being in the popular crowd.  You say you have good friends, and be so very thankful for it.  They may not be the coolest people in the world, but I have found that true friends are the people you can count on the most.  Like at 3am when you are happy or scared or your car breaks down.

Don't think twice about the shallow people who judge you by looks or money or popularity.  Those things have no substance, nor do the people who use those as their reference guide to life.

Most of the high schoolers who think they are so great are living on mommy and daddy's lifestyle.  Very few of them will make it to the same standards to which they are judging you when they grow up and enter the real world.

Stop worrying about what other people think.  Your opinion is the only one that matters.  Trust me, most people don't even care and won't notice anything you do.  

And if they do notice, does their opinion really matter to you?  It shouldn't.  Who are they?  What makes them so special?  They aren't any different than you when you strip away fhe outer layers.

Have fun and enjoy yourself.  If someone doesn't like your clothes or your face or your butt, it is THEIR problem, not yours.  You don't have to conform to their standards, only yours.

And one little secret....once you stop worrying about what anyone thinks of you and you start enjoying yourself and always having fun, you will find that most of them want to be around you.  It is the person within that really counts, not anything on the outside.  

Anyone who judges you by that needs to get their priorities straight, and you don't really want them as friends anyway.

Answer 3

Most people would say just don't worry about what other people think...That's just b.s. Honestly I'd work on improving yourself. Work on becoming that person you want to be. Start working out at a gym and get really fit, "all the other chicks will be jealous and all the guys will want to date you."   Join the cheerleading or drill team if you want popularity. You could also start planning for college and doing volunteer work in the career field you want to work in.. Really, just focus on achieveing all your goals..That's the best way to get confidence...

Answer 4

Ok here's what you do... bring a switchblade to school.  Do a line of coke off it then go to town on those popular b*****s.  Eff up their faces so bad that the popular guys will have no choice but to turn to you.

Answer 5

I had self esteem issues when I was young.  I would take an F in a class before I would stand up in front of a class.

Two things helped me.  My wife who gave me a lot of support and told me I was a good person.  If I couldn't believe her who could I believe.

And a book.  "Self Love" by the Rev. Robert Schuller.  I urge you to read this book.  It showed me that I wasn't the one with the problems but other people had them.  Also gives you a lot of defense mechanisms.  Good Luck

Answer 6

The bitchy girls try to boost their own confidence by putting others down. You can see that they are obviously not becoming happy by acting cruelly so you don't want to follow their example. You want to be happy. But it's really annoying when they do that. Right?

Sometimes, I have found in life, that an example of ' what not to be' is put right in front of our face. We have the opportunity to accept anything with a positive or negative attitude and response.

If we look at it in a positive way we can think about it being something to help me. And we can think that the cause of it may not be just their stupidity. It is partial cause but we can't change their stupidity but we can change ourselves so that we don't become stupid like them. If we react in a negative way, like feeling bad about what others think about me, then we get caught in the same trap as they are in. By giving our mind away to meditating on anyone's stupidity for even a moment, we can be captured by negative forces.

It is only our own minds that we have control over and not anyone elses.

As for the cause, (being anything other then them), it can be something really deep. Like, what I need, it has manifested. Let me use it wisely. Do you understand what I mean? Probably my wording could be better. But what I mean is to see a greater power as the cause always, in all difficult situations. When you do this it usually helps you to have faith in the existence of God. People who look to the negative never see Him. There is no light within darkness.

The purpose of life dosn't have to be to enjoy yourself only but to be happy within yourself in all situations. The thougt that 'I must enjoy' actually makes us suffer because we have no control of outside circumstances which will not let us enjoy Always all the time. It is also a selfish thought, which is quite normal- we all do it but it's not healthy actually.

To be confident despite what anyone else thinks is an art but it is definately possible and required. Look for someone, maybe you know them  now or you will, who has this quality in them (being happy in themselves) and learn from them.(maybe someone older and experienced)

You are definately good at something so give your attention to whatever you like and are good at, like sport or art or music or school subjects or whatever. And try to develop that thing without thinking that anyone is judging you as good or bad. Just for your own satisfaction. It will help you to be able to meditate and be peaceful because it will be who You are and not what anyone else expects of you. And that helps you to be confident.

Hope that is helpful.

Anne

Answer 7

I have this problem too. People, especially kids, can be incredibly cruel. You just have to tell yourself that those people may be pretty or hot or attractive on the outside but they're ugly on the inside. The real popular people are the ones who are strong and confident in themselves and treat others with respect and dignity.

I blush when people I don't know ask me questions, too. It's just something I can't help. I don't think you can change that; but if you feel nervous or shy or embarrassed when they talk to you just push the feeling away. That should help you to stop blushing.

Good luck.

*Bryan*