I have serious self-esteem problems?

Question

school's starting tomorrow and i enjoy everything about school, except for the fact that it comes with a horrid feeling of low self-esteem. i get so incredibly self-conscious. my thighs, my uncoolness, my unstylish clothing... studying is just a place to run away from all this, which is why i like school in a way.

i've read all the other Y!A questions about self-esteem, all they ever seem to say is repeat something nice to yourself constantly. that seems like an empty, unconstructed way to self-esteem, can anyone give me any REAL, unique advice?

Answer 1

Hun, everyone has a self-esteem problem.  They either have low-self esteem of they have overly high self-esteem.  There is no magic word or special thing you can do to raise your self-esteem.  You can start to tell yourself that you have low self-esteem and because of that you are more aware of your flaws than anyone else.  You are your harshest critic.  Changing your thighs and your clothing isn't going to change your "uncoolness".  First off, the people that are truly going to like you won't care about your thighs and clothing. The people that don't like you now aren't going to start liking you if you change these things.  If you want more people to like you chane your attitude.  Accept who you are and that you're not perfect and that you can't please everyone.  Have a more positive attitude and make an effort to get out of your safe zones and try new things.  Once you're not so afraid you might find you'll like yourself a little better and care less about what others think.

Answer 2

Well, repeating something good about your self helps, but only if you really believe it.  

Most peoples self-esteem comes from how they think other people view them.  Most people are too preoccupied with how they themselves look to notice much about other people.

Try talking to your friends, and remember that once you're in the real world, highschool is only as important as the deploma you get.  If you really feel that bad about yourself, you could work out or go shopping for new clothes.

The more you stress about your image the worse you'll feel about yourself.  Try distracting youself, and have fun.

Answer 3

Everybody is gonna have some insecurities, some low self esteem etc. while in highschool. It's all a part of the thick atmosphere breathed out by your peers. It's completely normal to have insecurities, and a lot of them will probably just disappear when you're done school. It doesn't really have a lot do with your age either, it has more to do with the environment you're in. I find a good way to help can be buy yourself something completely for cosmetic purposes that you love, and take no others opinions into account. Like sunglasses or something that y-o-u think make you look good. You could think about things like - nothing that happens in highschool will ever matter in your future other than your grades. That's what you're there for - learning, it's totally irrelevant what others think.  

Answer 4

There is nothing you can do, no "tricks". You just have to accept yourself, lay back, have a joint (the last one is optional).

If you are unhappy with your body, exercise. But be honest with yourself, don't call yourself fat if you aren't, don't be an attention w***e (example).

If you are okay with yourself, so will other people see the changes. And as unbelievable as it sounds, it's true. It is easy to see when someone is insecure. Be cocky if it helps. Not that it's a good trait, but it's better than low self-esteem, and definitely more useful.

"coolness" or "popularity" in high school doesn't matter, find a group of friends that you enjoy hanging out with.

When I was in 9th grade, I desperately tried to hang out with the "cool" crowd, who now I see, were a bunch of losers that made fun of other people and themselves. If you have a good set of friends, hold on to them.

Answer 5

repeating things to yourself is not going to work, one thing good to do is to think in what you already have, for example there are people that will make you feel down but is good to remember in that moment that you have people who love you, remember that if you already have people that loves you you don't need anything else

Answer 6

girl, if you're worried about being fat, think about all those fatter people out there. A LOT of people are over weight these days, and honestly, who cares if you're fat or not?? I don't. Just laugh it off. And make friends. Not everyone cares about fancy clothes and coolness. And believe me, a number of people worry about those themselves, you're not alone.

Answer 7

Just be yourself, too many kids now days all set back and single people out to pick on. They have no clue as to what the world has in store for them once they leave the little fish pond and become apart of every day society. Most of the world doesn't give a **** about what you wear or how you look. Most people are hard working, honest, and respectful. Sorry what a rant, anyway, just be comfortable with yourself and forget what anyone else thinks. People who can do that are the ones who can truly say they are cool. It's because they look at the person for who they are not what they look like. As far as self esteem only you can do that. Ok, wake up in the morning use the bathroom, walking in and tell your mom guess what I did. She'll say what? Then you can say I just pissed excellence and walk away. Look in the mirror and tell yourself I look dam good today. It works just try it.

PeAcE,

JJ

P.S. pardon the language please  

Answer 8

i don't think theres anything anyone can tell you that will give you self esteem.. its something you need to find for yourself

Answer 9

i'm an old dude now (when did that happen?) but i always liked the girls that shied out of the spotlight.... from your question i can tell you are intelligent and articulate. it's rough, i was a geek (still am) but people actually began to like me for who i was around senior year...

and dont be too rough on yourself, guys like thighs... i bet there are some underclassmen (if they still call them that) that think you rock. be more receptive to the 'losers' i know that sounds like advice from a loser (hey, i'm not a loser) but give those dudes a chance... they mihgt be good friends and the next founders of google. all we are saying, is give geeks a chance ;)