I have some issues with my husbands past?

Question

I am very jealous about my husbands past, i can't stand the fact he was with other women it makes me soooo mad! i know there's nothing i can do about it apart from just forget about it which i can't do. i think about it a lot and imagine him with his exs, i really hurt myself doing this but i just can't help it. i just which he was a virgin when he met me like i was. Any adice? does anyone else feel like this?

Answer 1

You are being very obsessive about the whole thing, you can't change the past...so you have to let it go, otherwise you will allow it to destroy your relationship.

Answer 2

you just have to know that he is with you now and none of those other woman matter to him anymore. and this day and age it is almost imposable to find a man that is a virgin.  

Answer 3

Get OVER IT!!

And find a Hobbie!  If you had such a big problem with it, then you should have married a virgin!!

Answer 4

You need counseling, then marriage counseling. These are unfounded jealousies and there is nothing that can be done about it. You can't turn back time. Only in your mind. Seek therapy, quickly.  

Answer 5

You should have discussed this before marriage. There is little you can do about this other than stop thinking about it.

Answer 6

Honestly...get real would you?

Answer 7

So you have two choices.   Get over it or end it.    If this was an important issue to you, you should have discussed early in the getting to know you process.   You didn't, therefore, it must not have been important.  

Ending it, you are now in the same place.   What happens if you meet some guy that is a virgin and wants to marry a virgin.  You are no longer a virgin, end of story and relationship.

Answer 8

Another virgin trying to put her screwed up morals onto someone else.  Never fails.  You chose to stay a virgin, good for YOU.  YOUR choices have no affect on anyone else, never did, never should and now you can't stand that everyone else isn't like you, probably less than 3% are after age 20.  If you knew this before you got married, get over it!  He didn't know you, he didn't know he would meet you, he wasn't cheating on you.  You are outting way too much value on a valueless commodity.  Obviously he didn't care if you were a virgin (very few men do and the ones that do can't possibly be interesting if they worry about such trivial things)

Get over it or cut him loose.  He deserves someone to love him without condition and reservation.  Had you told me you were a virgin I would have RUN AWAY fast!  And THIS is the reason!  I would never have asked.

Answer 9

it's too late to tell you don't marry him.  That would have been my advice if you said you couldn't get past his past before you married.

Therapy.  you're obsessing over his past and you can't stop yourself, so you need to talk it out with someone who can guide you through this process.

if you want to save the copay and the doctor's visit then do the following:  

when you find yourself focusing on his past.  Take a deep breath and do something else.  Do something nice for your husband that shows him you are grateful that he picked you to marry.  Focus on your life with him now. repeat as often as needed.

Answer 10

This is something you'll have to accept. Get whatever counseling you need and come to terms with it. The past is in the past. If you have a good husband that doesn't abuse or cheat on you then be happy. Honestly, your words are a little scary. I've seen other people in your situation end up cheating because they thought they were missing out on something. I hope you don't travel down that same path.

Answer 11

it must be very hard and i see where you are coming from. Try concentrating on the positive and on your love for him. Tell him that you feel this way and ask him for help. tell him you need him to comfort you and maybe even reassure you that you are his one and only! good luck!

Answer 12

Yes, get over it.  

Answer 13

Did you not think he had a past when you married him?  Did you take him brand-new out of a box the morning of your wedding?  Sounds to me like you need some therapy, and I'm not saying that to be ugly.  The fact that you know he was with other women before you and it bothers you to this extent leads me to believe that you have insecurity issues that you need to work on.  If you had wanted a virgin, you should have married one, it's that simple.  You can't change his past any more than you can change your own, and if you continue this path that you are currently on, you will destroy your marriage.

Answer 14

you just have to realize he had a past...you chose not to b with anyone before him and he had other girls..

youre gonna drive yourself crazy obsessing over his past...

find something to do to occupy your mind because this will eat away at you and could cause trouble in your marriage at one point...