I have taken time off work for a gynaelocological reason & treatment - How do I tell them /word it?

Question

I have just started a new job at the beginning of this month. When I started I told them I would need a week off to write some exams (professional qualifications) and I have done this. I also had a day off during my first week for a gynae appointment. (My commute is 2 hours and trains not frequent, so at least half a day off is necessary,.)

Anyway I had a cervical loop excision following a colposcopy. This was fairly routine, but 10 days later I started haemorraging which is a very rare complication. I was admitted to hospital and a spent the 2 days there. I was still on my study leave and I was just doing my revision from my hospital bed. Anyway I was meant to go back today, but I am still feeling under the weather and I will go in tomorrow.

I just told them that I was not feeling too well. They did not sound impressed, but I report directly to the senior directors so there is no one who can actually tell me off.

Now I don't know what to say. It is a very male environment and I don't want to have to give too much detail, personal information, but also I don't want to lie.

Basically what happened is I had a routine cervical smear test and because of abnormalities they had to remove precancerous cells. After this routine procedure I developped complications including severe bleeding and had to be put on a drip because of the loss of blood. They did several internal examinations, cauterised the wound, and hopefully in 6 weeks I will be back to my normal self but can be back at work even today if I take it easy.

It is easy for me to say this to faceless internet people but I don't want middle aged men having the details of what is going on in my plumbing.

It would have been easier if I just sprained my ankle or something easily explained.

What do I say.

Please help.

Answer 1

Be honest.  If you tell them you've had complications resulting from a gynaecological procedure.  Chances are they won't want the details anyway, and if they do just give them copies of your letters from the hospital which will state the procedures and if they want to know what they are they can find out.

I do think you should be honest though, if you lie they may be able to tell and that would be worse.

Answer 2

to keep your job, i would get proof of your hospital stay, and have the doctor write whats been going on and why, it may seem embarrassing, but i'd do it anyhow

Answer 3

The best thing you can do is just be honest - tell them you have been in hospital. I know it may seem hard for you to tell your boss as he is male? But he will probably be more embarrassed than you!

JUST BE HONEST - TELL THEM EVERYTHING! : ) Even take a hospital appointment letter with you for proof.

Answer 4

Simple.  You had some routine diagnostic testing, and was advised to complete a followup treatment, that has required additional recovery time.

John Jones, M.D.

(a middle-aged man who DOES understand what is going on with your plumbing  :)

Answer 5

You have been through it haven't you.  Are you feeling better at all?

No matter how minor surgery is, its still surgery, and your body is going to react.  AND everyone is different as to how they respond after surgery.

You sound like you need to rest hon.  Seriously.  Have you stored up any vacation time, or personal time?  Where do you live?  Where I live we have the Family Leave Act.  Twelve weeks off work without losing your job, whether its you who needs care or you caring for someone else.

Most employers may not like having an employee taking off for such a long time, but if you talk to the MEN you may be surprised.  Some will understand.  The only questions they should ask you would be when you'll return to work and how much work can you do when you do return.  In that, will you only work part time for awhile until your doc releases you to full time etc.

I could go on and on.  I am a woman, but I've been in your bosses shoes.  

Check in with your HR department and see what your options are.

Hope this helps.

Answer 6

I don't see how they can do anything if you tell them you're having hospital treatment. Nothing to be ashamed of for having women's problems. If they had a man problem, would you think any less of them? If one of them had prostate cancer or t******e cancer, would you think worse of them than if it was something else?

I expect they have wives who talk to them about these things.

Answer 7

Hi,

I do not think that you have any obligation to go into detail with them regarding the reason you are off. I would just tell them it is an important but personal medical reason. If you are able to get a doctors note this would of course support your time off and would give you less to worry about. I am sure the doctor will be discreet on the note if you ask him/her too.

I hope this helps to put your mind at ease. If you are not well you have every right to have time off.

Sx

Answer 8

Just be non-specific.  I would say that I had to have a minor procedure done and leave it at that.  If someone pushes for more details, just say "I would rather not discuss it, but thanks for your concern."  You don't owe anybody any details.  

Answer 9

Don't forget that most of these men will be married and have a pretty good understanding of these things themselves. They have probably been at their children's births and had to buy tampax for their wives. I understand what you are saying - I would probably feel embarrassed as well but I would rather be embarrassed and have them know the truth than not embarrassed and have them think I'm pulling a sickie.

Just grit your teeth and explain. You don't have to give them all the info. Just say you had an abnormal smear and there were complications.

Hope you are better soon.