I have to choose: get married, or keep my insurance. HELP???

Question

I am 19 years old and on caresource. I am currently unemployed (for the past 8 weeks) because I quit my job to take care of my mom who just had a quadruple bypass a few months ago. I live with her and my dad, and they are both on social security. I have had caresource since I was 13 because of my parents low income, and I was supposed to get to keep it until I turn 23. However, two years ago I met my fiance and fell in love, and he proposed at our 1 year anniversary. I do not believe in moving in together before marriage, it doesn't settle well with me or my fiance, we both hate the idea. But we want to be together, because right now we are 4 hours apart (have been for about 6 months) and we can't take it anymore.

problem is, right now I'm recovering from a strep b infection that spread to my kidneys and bladder, i take medication for pcos, and my medical card covers my birth control. when i get married, despite the fact that my boyfriend makes 7 bucks an hour and thats what i made at my last job, they will take away my medical coverage.

emotionally, i cant handle being long distance much longer. i cant afford the gas to see him even when i have a job, and its taking its toll. but...im scared to lose my medical coverage. what can i do?

Answer 1

I would like to be as honest as possible with you without sounding harsh.  Reading over your dilemma I see that there is much more going on than losing your insurance.  The first is that you are quite young to be getting married, trust me.  The other issue that I see is that everything about this relationship is affecting YOU...financially, emotionally and health wise (referring to ins.).  $7.00 an hour is not much especially in this economy.  I feel that you and your fiance should sit down and go over where you will live first.  I am not sure how much an apartment goes for where you live but I am certain that it will take every single one of his paychecks to cover it.  What about food, clothes, car maintenance, etc..

My opinion is that if you are dead set on getting married then I am pretty sure that you will be able to keep the ins. and add your future husband because two people living on 7 bucks an hour is below the poverty level and you will both be eligible.

Good luck and I hope that the two of you seriously think everything over before you get married.

Answer 2

I think you should get married and apply for Medicaid.

Answer 3

Well, for starters, either you or your fiance can look for a different job...one that provides medical insurance.  Obviously one of you would have to find a different job after the wedding anyhow, if you presently live 4 hours apart.  That way, you could keep insurance coverage and also get married.

If you decide to get married and go without insurance, you'll have a hard time getting insurance in the future.  (Unless either of you obtains group insurance through an employer.)  You have some medical issues that would be considered pre-existing on any individual policy and might even make it hard to get approved for individual insurance coverage at all.  I would not recommend letting your coverage lapse, or you'll put yourself into a bad situation.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but it sounds like you guys might not be ready for marriage yet.  If you can't provide for your basic needs together as a married couple, then that's a leap perhaps you aren't ready to take yet.

If you don't want to move in together before marriage, have you considered the option of living in the same city (but not together)?  That might be a better alternative than rushing into a marriage that you aren't ready for.  

Unfortunately, it takes more than just love and caring to make a successful marriage.  If you get yourself in over your head by losing medical coverage with your conditions and having financial problems (which are almost a given at $7/hour), the stress that it would put on your young marriage could ultimately destroy your relationship.

If either of you can get a different job, that might be a different story.  Otherwise, you should both focus on getting education and/or job training that will provide a better future for you, and keep your medical coverage for the time being.

Answer 4

Your only  19!!  For God's sake, don't get married!

Getting married at a young age is a huge mistake.  You still need to grow up.   If you did married and started having babies then you will guarantee to be poor and live in poverty the rest of your life.  (Almost Guaranteed).    I say this and most say this out of concern for you and our young people making big mistakes.   Wait until you are old enough to understand what marriage means.  Right now you are just running on emotions.  Sorry, but rather be honest with you and tell you the truth than have you ruin your life.

Hope you listen.   Your life depends on it.