I have to do a video based on eating disorders for my media course,How does this sound?

Question

SCENE ONE:

1 girl, slightly plump sitting at a table with two chairs, with a chessboard in front of her.She stares at the board.The background is black.

She hears a voice (which the audience can hear) it says:

Lets start the game

She hears a drum bang, just one..the chessboard is 'light up'. The Voice is heard again , we zoom in on the plump girls eyecontact:

Its simple. Move across the board with your piece.In a normal game you have many peices. You have one. Only One. One chance. Get across quickly and quietly you will be fine.Move slow and your opposition will catch up.

*Spotlight on a still family scene*

*Spotlight back on Plump girl*

Its not hard. Its simple really. lose weight and you win. You must win the game. Roll dice.

*Plump girl rolls dice*

*Scene fades to black*

Scene two:

Voice: Cut your calories down. right down. down is good.

* we see the girl throwing away cake and chocolate and sweets*

Answer 1

sounds good but 'plump'....really!.....surely you can come up with something more politically correct.

something you learn in the eating disorders class is as a rule by the time they can be classed as 'plump' they probably don't have an eating disorder, anorexics are thin remember