I have to visit my dad this weekend, how do I make it less frustrating?

Question

He lives in a different state and I see him about twice a year, no more than a week or two at a time. Usually we hate each other. At least, I hate him. He treats me like a 5 year old, even though I'm a really responsible 14 year old.

For example, he never lets me out of his sight if we go to the store or something. Apparently he thinks someone's going to attack me (I asked him about it once and that's what he said).

Also, he always criticizes my mom and my step-dad. Either they're too strict, or they let me get away with too much, or they spoil me too much.... Even though he's the bad parent, not them.

The reason he doesn't live with us is that he didn't even want me before I was born. And then he said that my mom wasn't allowed to bring me to America. How am I supposed to respect someone like that?

So, anyone know how I can survive this weekend with him (and without my boyfriend-the person that keeps me sane)?

Answer 1

I'm 90% sure if you need help you can always call your mom.

Answer 2

I am a kid of divorced parents. It was so bad when visiting my dad (my step mom hated me) that I just stopped going. It was too stressful. Tell your dad that until you can work things out you don't want to go visit. You're old enough to make this decision. It's not worth it if you're going to be miserable.

Answer 3

Let him know that you are there to visit him and that you don't want to talk about your mother or step-dad.  Try to be positive with him and kill him with kindness.  He won't know what do say or do and keep it up for the whole weekend and it will go a lot easier for you.  Don't ask to much of him and you won't be disappointed.

Answer 4

1. Patience

2. Remember he is human just like you

3. Remind yourself what comes around goes around

4. Take the "me" out of it. Like he treats you bad, you hate him etc.

I know it is difficult, When he does or says something that irritates you BREATH. That will create space between you, him and the situation.  

Good Luck!

Answer 5

it sounds like your mother trained you well!  you sound like my ungrateful stepson. Doesnt like being with his dad, ONLY when he is buying him stuff or taking him places. But he doesnt complain when his mother SHOPS endlessly for him with my husbands childsupport payments since she doesnt work!  You should apprecieate your father. If he didnt love you, he wouldnt spend the money it takes to fly you or drive you to his state!  One day you will be a parent and you will understand. Why dont you give your dad a chance and get to know him. He is probably nothing like what your mom makes him out to be!

Answer 6

I know just what you going through same thing with dad I hate him. He also hasnt wanted to be in my life and my thing is simler to yours. What i do when i go to my dads is usally just go in my room and stay the whole or if i have to be around him i dont talk unless he asks me a question...and if you have a cell phone if things get really bad you can always call your mom or boyfriend to help you out. I hope this helped you

Answer 7

Bring along a few books or something else to occupy your time. Text your friends.Sadly, he isn't much of a parent and the only thing he can do to make himself feel like he is the superior parent is to criticize your Mom and husband. Just ignore him. As for not letting you out of his sight that is because he doesn't really know you. Be sweet and nice. Try to get him to take you shopping and buy you some new school clothes. Then it won't be a total waste of a weekend.

Answer 8

In my opinion stop thinking about what he didn't want in the past as hard as I know it may be.  He wants to be there now and at least that.  Some never come around to ever want to be around their child.  Second being away from your boyfriend will make you miss him more.  At least you don't have to worry about not him hovering over you all the time.  If you feel he always talks about your mom and step-dad; ask him to not talk about them.  Just tell him how you feel.  Dads are always over-protective. Him keeping you in sight is probably because he's not around you all the time and he still looks at you like your his lil girl.  At least he cares enough to keep you safe than let you go where ever and not even not even care if your safe.  Just look at the situation different and give him a chance to be a good dad.  He may have made mistakes when you were young but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you or care.  

Answer 9

try and joe told you a good answer.