I have trouble speaking my mind in front of people? How can I speak to other people without worrying?

Question

I've had a history of trying to socialize with people, and I sort of get the cold shoulder sometimes. I've tried numerous times until I've sort of become more reclusive. I want to meet people and talk to them, but I keep getting sort of overwhelmed by the thought that I'll just get shunned again, it causes what I say to be not what came to mind. I just sort of want to be able to come out and say whatever's on my mind, without fear of other people thinking I might be weird. Anybody know any way that I can get over this problem?

Answer 1

There is a great book by Dale Carnegie called How to Win Friends and Influence People.  What it really comes down to is that when you are talking to anybody, you need to focus your mind on them, NOT you. Once you do that, you get really comfortable because they are also comfortable. So you need to be genuinely interested in other people's interests and desires for themselves. If you can contribute somehow to someone else's interestes, so much the better.

You can't know what people think or want unless you ask and they happen to answer truthfully, so don't waste your effort on that one. Just go for the gusto and ask people to tell you about themselves. You will be hugely popular.

Answer 2

People who get attention have a presence that commands attention.  What you have to do is walk into the situation, in your mind say 'f*ck you' to everyone else and say what you want to say.  Don't let others get you down because you think they might not like what they have to say, some will and some won't.  Big deal.  If people think you're weird than so be it, it's better being weird than to be like every other simple-minded idiot on the planet.

Answer 3

i used to be the same, but know ive changed a lot. I usually say whatever is on my mind now to anyone. and i like it! try making more friends who speak their mind and it will rub off on you. never fear of saying your opinion as long as it isn't retarded or something ( you can be the judge of that) learn not to agree with others when you dont really agree 100%. talk to people in a more direct manner, without seeming abrupt or rude of course. its not that hard. people who have their own mind which is not easily influenced are respected a lot. people will admire you for saying whatever is on your mind....

Answer 4

You need to be interested in what other people are doing and saying and how they are.  You would want to listen to what their ideas are and their aspirations and dreams.  Just focus more on what they are saying, rather than what you are thinking about saying when they take a breath.

Answer 5

You're thinking too much about what others think.  Be confident in what you have to say and say it with confidence.  Think first, then say it.

Being shunned may have been a response to interjecting yourself into a conversation that may not have involved you.  Don't worry about it.  Just wait for an opportunity and dive in.  

If you have the time, and see the same people often, first smile and say hi. and let it go.  After a few times, they will be less defensive and you'll be able to start a conversation.