I have two kids and I want to do a better job, suggestions please...?

Question

I am 27, I have two boys 8 and 4. I am split from their dad and remarried, but my questions are not in regards to that.

I need help with how and when to teach them life skills. They take baths and brush their teeth, they do chores, or at least I try to get them to.

I just feel like I have no flipping clue what I am doing and that as much as I try I fail everyday as a mom because I leave out some frugal part of life that they need to succeed.

What would you suggest I do to help my kids have a more fulfilled life? What life lessons did you not learn that wish you had, and how would you teach them?

Answer 1

Don't be so hard on yourself. My hubby and I have taken a series at our church called "Growing Kids Gods Way." It's a video series by Ezzo and Ezzo. It has helped us so much with our parenting skills, and reaching the heart of our child....not just going through the motions to please parents. Try looking it up online. I bet you will enjoy it.

Answer 2

There is no such thing as a perfect parent.  I think that just asking for advise is a good way to tell you are a good parent.  Telling your kids that you are proud of them at every thing they want to accormplish is a good start.  Telling them that you love them every day is what follows.  Little things that will come your way you can handle, but one at a time.  Good luck, I think you are doing a great job just by asking for adivise.

Answer 3

I think you're doing a fine job. You could spend quality time with them by going for walks to the park or around the neighborhood and talking about different things they see or have done. Ask them questions and see how they answer. Having them do chores is a great start. No one has ALL the answers- most of us are flying by the seat of our pants, too, so spending time with them is the most important in my book! Good Luck!

Answer 4

I am a single mother who has rasied 3 sons (ages 20, 19 and 15).  The best advise I can give is don't worry so much.  

Here are a few pointers I learned along the way.

Always let them know they are loved.

Let them know you are human (kids sometimes think parents are suppose to be perfect) and that you make mistakes too.

Always have good and responsible role models (especially males) in their  life.

Never bad mouth the girls they decide to hang around.  It seems like the more you dislike their girlfriends the more they love them.

Don't ever speak ill of your  ex (because they are a part of him)

Always know their friends and let them know you will check up on them. (If possible let their friends hang around your house and you will get an idea of who their friends are)

And it has taken me a while but the main and most important thing I have learned while raising children is:

Don't sweat the little battles.  Prepare for the major wars.

Answer 5

Just continue being the best mom that you can. From what I can read, you are already teaching them the fine things in life such as responsibility and how to take care of themselves and at that age it is well needed. I am not sure of the situation with their dad, but if he is in their lives, then explain to him your situation and maybe he could help on his part... If your new husban dis involved with them maybe they can hang out and do "manly" things together and maybe that will help too...

Answer 6

You need to stop stressing about everything.  None of us know what were doing. Everyone has there own way of handling things.  Just spend time with your son's enjoy them now. Take walks together, go have ice cream.  There are tons of vidio games out there find one you might like doing. I don't like vidio games either but guess who's addicted to guiter hero. (made it to 5 stars on one song now). I just tell my son to treat people like he would like to be treated, not to look down on someone who has less them him. And are always talking about not doing drugs. And letting him know that I'm always here for him and he can talk to me about anything without me getting upset. We can always work anything out. The one thing my parents never taught me about that i wished they had. How to handle money. I set my son up with his own saving and part of his allowance goes in everyweek. Just love your boys and it will all come in time. Good luck.

Answer 7

Well it seems like you are teaching them the BASICS.  The most important thing I teach my son is MANNERS and importance of reading and education. I make sure he knows to be respectful, say excuse me, please and thank you. ALSO to read atleast 1 book everyday. One thing I didn't have when I was growing up was being pushed more in school. I do know that our kids do listen to us eventhough they LOOK and act as if they weren't but if you tell them what you want in their life they know and will try to make you happy.

Answer 8

I would get to the root of why you feel that you have failed as a mother and forgive yourself for it. The next thing I would do is be very open and honest with them about how you feel. When you are guiding them, tell them why and why it is important to you for them to learn that life's lesson. I think we get so caught up in the "how do i make them" that we never give them the opportunity to "want" to do it...

Good luck and God bless...

Single Mom of 21, 12, and 11 year olds

Answer 9

I'm 28 and I have 2 boys (10 and 12), and I have often felt the same way.  No matter what, I want them to have plenty of opportunities to make good choices.  

One life skill that I think is really important, that I had a problem instilling in them is- cleanliness and sanitation.  I know that might sound funny, but Im serious.  They have never been big on being clean and stuff, but it's important that they learn to take good care of themselves.  That will also affect their confidence and self-esteem.  

Another one- I dont want them to have a lot if inhibitions when it comes to expressing themselves individually.  That doesn't mean that I would find it acceptable if they wanted to dress all dark, like Marilyn Manson.  But, I dont want to try to push them to be something they dont want to be, I want them to figure out for themselves what they want, and then I will support it (within reason) if it makes them happy.

I really think their level of confidence is key.  If they have enough faith in themselves, they can accomplish anything.  

And, of course- most importantly- they need to know about God.  That sets an essential basis for good morals and values.

Answer 10

I am a single dad with 7 daughters and the important thing is to spend equal time with them