I have two kids and my fiance has two also...?

Question

When his children aren't home he gets mad if I want to do something like go to the park or something like that with my kids. He is nice to me and my children when his aren't home then when they get here he starts being mean. He makes me feel guilty for loving my kids, He shows partiality and so does his family, one of my children belongs to him but my other daughter doesn't have her Father in her life at all. Him and his family say they feel sorry for his kids because their mother left, so why am I not allowed to feel bad for my daughter she doesn't have her Father in her life so why are they any different??

Is this right?? Will it ever change its been 2 yrs now?? What do I do??

Answer 1

i wish that made some sense.  your two daughters...one of which IS HIS...both LIVE  with you while the other two of his children dont live with him.  somehow, youre rationalization is askew a bit.  he doesnt want to go out to the park with 'your' kids while his other kids are away.  One of those is his biological offspring.  Im sorry im not being helpful, but i just dont understand 'your' kids and 'his' kids and your child together.  this is the problem.  maybe he wants all his kids under the same roof or he cant relax and enjoy the two that are under his roof.  dont take your frustration out on him...help him enjoy the time he CAN spend with the kids while they are still small.  peace

Answer 2

I hear alarm bells! I know you share one child but this sounds very unhealthy to me. It's pretty tough being a blended family because there are many stakeholders. Your children and his, deserve a loving,caring family and need to feel valued by both you and your fiancee. I strongly suggest that you both go to family counselling for the sake of your children. If you don't, you risk damaging the children psychologically. Children are very perceptive and while they may not say anything, they will feel the tension and the favouritism. A little professional help will go a long way. Please do it. Best wishes

PS If you want to build a family you need to have strong foundations. The foundations will be strong when you resolve the issue of "his kids, my kids" and a family counsellor can help here. If the foundations aren't strong, then it will all come tumbling down one day. Please don't get married until you've dealt with it.

Answer 3

i can't understand what's wrong in loving your own children? perents love their own kids, they re the best for them and they dont' care about someone else's children. when u expect your bf and HIS FAMILY love your kids u re crossing the line. nobody cares about your children and nobody feels sorry for them besides u. so quit expecting others treating your children like gold, treat them like gold yourself