I have two older sisters and three best friends?

Question

I am at the very start of planning my wedding. I love both of my sisters, but I'm not too close with them. I want one of my best friends to be the maid of honor, but she doesn't live very near by. The other two friends I have known for much longer, but I really don't want either of them to be the maid of honor because they are not as close to me. Basically, I'm trying not to offend anyone by not picking them. How can I tactfully do this as they are all dear and important to me? Also, does the fact that my friend lives a good distance away make it difficult for her to be the maid of honor? I hope this isn't confusing...

Answer 1

Your Maid of Honor should be your best friend.  Ask her honestly if it will be a problem for her that she lives so far away.  If she thinks it will she may suggest you have someone else, but I believe it will work out fine.  She is technically the one who should plan a bridal shower for you, so she may want to get together with the others to make plans, and assign tasks to be completed in town, since she lives far away..

Since it will be a small to-do, don't feel obliged to have everyone in the wedding party if you don't want them there.

On the day of the wedding ask your your friends and sisters to take care of something, i.e., arrange the flowers, set up tables, manage the guest book, etc., so everyone feels involved.

Congrats and God bless!

Answer 2

Maid of honors should be friends and bridesmaids should be sisters.

Answer 3

My MOH lived very far away - but I asked her to have that position because she is closest in my heart, and I totally wanted her to do that honour for us. It didn't matter to me that she could only come in the afternoon before the wedding, because I was not requiring any 'work' of her or the other bridesmaids.

I have three older sisters - one 3 yrs older, one 10 years older, and one 14 yrs older. The oldest one did the toast to the bride and groom at the reception program; the next oldest one was the MC for the reception program; the one next oldest to me was at the guest book with another friend of mine.

You could also have your sisters do readings at the ceremony.

Answer 4

why not ask one of your sister's to be the MOH, and the other bridesmaids, as well as the other friends, i mean to me blood is thicker than friends, and i would definitely want my sis to be my MOH, in which i am.I have 2 sisters and 0ne brother, and my wedding is Saturday, and when i was deciding on who to pick for my MOH, I had to go with the one that's closest to me, both my sisters are close to me, but my older sister is always around when i need her, so i went with her, and i have my other sister as my BM, my brother's one of my fiance's groomsmen, b/c they are close buddies, so i had to choose like that, and all my other friends are my bridesmaids, in total i have 6 bridesmaid, and a MOH, i know it's alot but my bridal party is huge, and all my friends wanted to be a part of the wedding..lol! So i suggest that you go with the one that's closest to you, if not then choose one of your friends, if your sister's won't get jealous.GL and congrats on your wedding!

Answer 5

Well a Maid Of Honor has specific roles, like to assure the bridesmaids make there appointsments for fittings and get things on time, she helps to plan all your pre-wedding parties and just generally assists you.

If you don't mind doing those things yourself, or passing them onto someone else it would not be a problem at all.

A friend of mine did "Honored Maidens", all her friends were too close to her to pick just one and she didn't want to hurt feelings, she gave everyone a specific role (someone did appointments, parties ect ect ect)

Answer 6

MOH has alot of responsibility but if shes who you want then pick her.. Or Ive also heard of people having all their bridesmaids being honorary bridesmaids... that way you dont offend anyone..

Answer 7

You are not obligated to ask your sisters to be bridesmaids, especially since they are older. In fact, they may prefer not to. You should think about whether they will be upset if they aren't asked, and talk to them about it. Perhaps they could do readings during the ceremony, or make a speech at the reception.

There is no reason not to ask the long-distance friend to be your MOH. I live in DC but am the MOH for a friend who lives and is getting married in St. Louis. I wasn't able to do some of the prep things like going dress shopping with her, but I was able to help her make phone calls and do research online. The distance doesn't matter - it's about the relationship you have with that person. I'm so honored to play that role for my friend, and it didn't matter that I lived far away.

(It's funny because the bride actually has two older sisters, who had no desire to be bridesmaids. The bride has asked them to be "honorary" matrons of honor - they will walk up the aisle with their little boys, and wear dresses in the same color as the bridal party, but they will sit in the pews with the family instead of standing at the altar. They will also be in all the pictures. This was a good compromise for her family - she can recognize her sisters, but still have the bridesmaids she wanted!)

Alternately, you can simply have three bridesmaids and no maid of honor. That way, everyone is equal.

The thing you should give the most thought to is your sisters. It's not worth leaving them out if it causes a family feud - just have five attendants and don't worry about it. But if they don't care about being bridesmaids, then you're off the hook.

Answer 8

Siblings are no longer automatically part of the wedding party and a long distance friend can be a wonderful part of it. I wasn't in my sister's wedding and was not offended - I was in a friend's wedding and I lived several states away and it was wonderful!! I would ask your long distance friend about her feelings first - before bringing it up to anyone else - because no one wants to know they are the second, third, fourth, etc. choice.  Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful wedding and a long and happy marriage.