I haven't been this down in ages :(?

Question

My ex, also my best friend, wanted us to get back together a few weeks back. I was all for it, but then he suddenly decided he liked this other girl, one of my close friends, and asked her out. She said no, and he claimed to be "relieved" because he'd changed his mind, as he liked someone else.

This turned out to be me. When he asked the other girl out, I just sort of gave up as we've been kinda chasing each other for ages, and I took that as the last straw.

Then he found out I had liked him, and was all like "I'm so sorry, I've blown it all now haven't I?" and told everyone he was in love with me and was desperate to get back together.

And I was so confused at this point that I wasn't even sure if I liked him like that or not anymore, and he asked me out again, and because of the whole thing with the other girl I didn't know what to say, so I told him I didn't know and needed to think.

So he kept nagging me for an answer... And in the end I just gave up with the pressure and said no, because I don't know that I even like you as anything more than my best friend now.

He took it really badly, claims to be broken hearted, says he doesn't hate me but is refusing to speak to me and posting things on his bebo and how I don't deserve his love and whatever

So of course I feel absolutely terrible and incredibly guilty. But part of me is really angry he's making such a fuss when he was the one who wanted us to get together and then turned round and asked another girl out, then comes back to me...

Am I being unfair? =/ Would appreciate any opinions, sorry it's so long x

Answer 1

Crikey, this guy is selfish and immature!  You have no reason to feel guilty, really you haven't!   He wanted his cake and to eat it!  Do you think he would have gone ahead and dated this other girl if she'd said yes?  If you do, then consider what his motives were in going back to you.  Is he playing games?  I think he is.  Only, instead of looking like the cool player he obviously thinks he is, he's ended up looking silly and hasn't got either girl.  That's why he's now punishing you by trying to make you feel exactly as you do.  Don't give him the satisfaction!  You have every right to be angry but, again, don't give him the satisfaction.  Want revenge?  Get a new guy to flaunt and teach your ex that you deserve better than him!

Answer 2

You did the right thing. We girls have the 6th sense which helps us to make decisions many times. And in this case he is just using you to fill in the blanks and now because he did not get you he is being mean. He is not worthy. All the people who have known him for long will know what he is. So don't waste any time even thinking about him.

Answer 3

l think he`s not serious if he really love you he will not have behave the  way he did.

Answer 4

Sounds like you two are both confused. Stay away from each other for a while and see what happens. As long as your feelings are being pulled back and forth, you'll never know how you truly feel.

Answer 5

just  be  friends  agin

Answer 6

2 no's in a short period of time can be a blow to a guys pride.

Don't feel guilty for making a decision unless you think you may actually want to go out with him.

If your decision is still "No." then don't feel guilty about making the choice that you feel is best for you.

Don't let others "guilt trip" you into getting what they want. Being manipulated is not fun!

If you answer is really "Yes." then maybe you should talk to him and explain that you felt pressured by him and after getting more time to think about it.. you'd like to say yes.

By making yourself a little vulnerable he may snap at you but, at the same time the gesture may work for you instead.