I hear constantly on here how men are so abused and so unfairly treated in DV cases, I want to better...

Question

understand this since my whole life I've been surrounded by male on female violence of every sort and nothing was ever done about any of it.

Can someone please explain this and give some sort of information that maybe I could read?

Answer 1

While there seems to be grater numbers of male to female violence there seems to be larger acceptance of female to male violence.  Females are more likely to be abused as well as report false abuse, males are more likely to abuse yet not report being abused.  No one is treated fairly in domestic violence cases.  You can't take back damage done.

EDIT- Here is a great link that will help you learn more about the subject.  It is slightly antifeminist, which I realize does not help it's credibility but they do have credible statistics.

http://www.batteredmen.com/

Answer 2

Peace to you and sorry you had to witness such unfairness.  Member what's right? got it right.  

If you want the dirt on anything, just interview/ask those who are involved.  If you can stomach the truth, ask divorced men.  Ask the next 10, 20 or 30 divorced men you talk to what happened.    

False domestic violence is the biggest scam going.

It's not DV cases men are unfairly treated in.   It's FALSE domestic violence cases where men get raped in and outside of court (there are no bruises, no evidence that the woman was hurt except for a woman out for revenge.)

False domestic Violence is a billion dollar industry.  It's a cash cow for RX, doctors, lawyers, education, women's rights grants, publicity for women's rights, used for false statistics, etc.

Behold all the groups that have started as a reply to the unfairness of abused feminists laws:  

http://www.themenscenter.com/National/na...

Answer 3

OK I have NO stats on this. I know there are stats and other things that you could read. I can only offer to you what I saw growing up in MY house. BOTH my parents were drinkers BOTH were mean drinkers BOTH had bad tempers. my mom broke my dad's arm and leg when she pushed him down the steps when they were fighting. my dad broke my mom's leg when he was drinking. the week before my dad's death my mom gave him 2 black eyes and broke his jaw.  he did NOTHING to my mom that day. NOTHING she was just drunk.

My dad never called the police because he would be the one that would go to jail. even if he was bleeding he would be the one they would arrest. all my mom would have to say was he hit me. and the police would believe her. even if she had NO signs of abuse they would arrest my dad. I know he abused her also but how much can anyone take before they lash out?

there are Men out there who are abused by their wife or girl friends or other females. their are men who go to jail when they did nothing. I had my eyes opened to this as I grew up and i listen to men who have been hurt with an open mind. and I joined a group here for abused men.

This is real this happens to men a lot. I could have stopped my parents from fighting but I lived in FEAR of them I never knew how they would react and I was beaten by BOTH of them. so FEAR kept me from saying anything. the guilt is bad. if only i would have said something.

Listen to men who say they have been abused they can be hurt just like anyone can. it does happen men do go to jail I wish I could show you something that you read that would show you but I can't think of anything. I saw this growing up i saw my parents beat each other so I do know this is real. it really does happen a LOT more then anyone knows. God Bless

Answer 4

http://www.law.fsu.edu/journals/lawrevie...

http://www.enterstageright.com/archive/a...

"Although a significant number of domestic violence victims are male, VAWA defines victims as female. As one result, tax-funded domestic violence shelters and services assist women and routinely turn away men, often including older male children."

http://www.realfamilylaw.com/biased-vawa...

http://www.realfamilylaw.com/gender-bias...

"Many male victims are ignored or ridiculed by a system that seems to recognize only female victims. When women are the abusers, they are more often than not given a pass."

"Extensive research concludes that men and women are almost equally likely to initiate domestic violence (e.g. Strauss and Gelles, 1975 and 1985). While women may be more severely injured when domestic violence escalates, they can and do commit serious crimes of violence against men. Women's advocates continually downplay the existence of female violence. This obscures the fact that men are at risk of being victimized, and leaves them less prepared for the potential for violence against them."

Answer 5

separation is the most dangerous time for a woman. she can get a restraining order but it can offer her no guarantees as to her welfare. many have been injured and killed with the restraining orders in place.

question anyone who wants to make these more difficult. some states do not allow teens to file restrining orders (this is changin)- but they do experience dating violence - to make restraining orders harder to get is the last thing on earth anyone would want to  do. they are usually issued fairly easily and th.en a trial is set where a judge makes a decison.

for credible info on domestic violence look at the world health organization, the center for disease control, stop family violence, end abuse.

guys on here will suggest media radar - it is the least credible site, has no backing, credentials,etc.  they dont recognize 'battering or batterer b/c it's perjorative. a bunch of c**p coming from a supposed domestic violence site.

look at the national domestic violence center, in harrisburg pa.

look for credible sources.

men are abused - there is no doubt but there is a lot of misinformation out there about it. stick with credible sources.

Answer 6

Just test it out for yourself.  Call 911 and say your boyfriend is making you feel threatened and that you feel your life is in danger.  He's in the apartment now.  Watch how fast they're in there ready to take him out.  

This ones fun too.  Divorce a guy who's never struck you and never cheated on you.  File a restraining order, because he makes you "feel threatened"--works every time.  You're guarantied custody and it will be so much easier to get the house when he's not allowed near it.  You can pass the time by telling the kids daddy abandoned them.  Then you'll get child support too!!  This is the really fun part.  Don't get clothes for the kids, or school supplies, or even toys for them for that matter.  Get yourself a new dress, get your nails done...get laid, you earned it.  Don't worry about anything being sinful or wrong, that's all just patriarchal nonsense anyhow.

Answer 7

Note that women perpetrate DV more than men but men get arrested way more than women.  Can you explain that?

http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/conte...

"Regarding perpetration of violence, more women than men (25 percent versus 11 percent) were responsible. In fact, 71 percent of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were women. This finding surprised Whitaker and his colleagues, they admitted in their study report.

. . . it was the men who were injured more often (25 percent of the time) than were women (20 percent of the time). "This is important as violence perpetrated by women is often seen as not serious," Whitaker and his group stressed."

Answer 8

You see male on female violence of every sort and nothing was ever done about it ?

..Are you in a third world country?

Answer 9

it might be a lot easier if when a woman says she wants a divorce or separation, they just lock the man up (sort of putting him on ice for a few years)

we are almost there now anyway!!

Answer 10

I'm going to speak from personal experience as a former advocate for men and women who're victims of abuse. I don't have any links to give off hand, but I'm sure if you research the information you'll find the latest reports. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to better understand some of the claims that some men make in here. Because most of their claims are rants, and not from personal experience. They put more anger into their response to such issues towards all women vs. actually trying to get up and do something about the issues that affect these men (and themselves) daily. They’ll spend hours on line finding articles and news links to prove their point, but neither one of them will use the same energy to join an organization that’s working towards the betterment of their fellow man.

As we all know men can be victims of DV just as well as women/children. One of the reasons why it's not noticed is for the simple fact that men don't report it as often as most women do. Example, a former Marine buddy of mine was recently telling me the story of a friend that would come to work every day with cuts and bruises on his body. When the command Master Sergeant decided to sit down with the guy and ask him what was going on, in his wife's presences, he explained what happen between the two of them the night before. During this time, his wife (a Marine also) jumped from her chair and attacked the guy while his chain of command was having a meeting with the two. Now the messed up part about all this is, instead of her being arrested and removed from the home, he (the abused) was removed from the home and placed into separate quarters because the chain of command felt "there is no way a woman would fight a man like that unless she was provoked". The reason why the guy (the abused) never fought back was because he didn't believe in hitting women. So no matter what she did to him, he would never hit her back in self defense. No charges where filed, they where divorced (she got the kids), and he moved onto another duty station. His chain of command wouldn’t have even know this was happening hadn’t someone brought it to the attention of their command. But his chain of command’s reaction to the incident is almost identical in the civilian sector. Most law enforcement view DV against men as something that can be prevented by the man himself. They feel that the man should be able to handle his own and keep himself from being abused. So when he does reach out for assistance, this is what happens, and he ends up being worse off then what he was prior to reporting. And most people (including men!) don't believe that a man can be abused. So most people don’t even give it a second thought when you hear it happening to a man vs. a woman.

DV is wrong regardless of who is doing it, but for most men it's not a subject that is often touched upon and given the recognition needed. I’ve seen many men in my day that needed just as much help when it comes to legal services, psychiatrically and emotional support, and education/prevention of DV. But they don’t get it because:

1. You have men who complain about the issues pertaining to men and DV, but do nothing to help stop it.

2. Most men don’t report it so the numbers don’t reflect the circumstance, there for funding to assist with such a growing epidemic is not as fruitful as it is for women.

3. There really isn’t anyone lobbying congress for a bill or act that would assist men who’re victims of DV. And if there is, you really don’t hear anything about it.

So it is a problem, and it is real, it’s just that no one is really working to address the issue. The numbers of men killed or injured during a DV incident may not be as high as women, but it does happen, and should not be tolerated.

Answer 11

So why did you never do something about the violence you witnessed ? Its easy to blame others.

Answer 12

The first answerer is spot-on

Cops and judges ALWAYS side with the female partner in a hetero relationship--ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!

Answer 13

Matthew Winkler was murdered by his Wife Mary Winkler who was involved in a Check kiting Scheme. She shot him in the back with a shotgun and pulled the phone out of the wall. So he could not call for help and let him bleed to death. She served less than six months in Jail. She got Mental evaluation and was released.

She was paid $450,000 for an interview on Oprah. And she has now regained Custody of their 3 Children. Crime pays and damned well if you are a Female in America. And if you off a Minister or some other member of the Patriarchy. Not only do you get sympathy, you will get Feminist Support and Legal assistance.