I hv two biological children, want to adopt third but husband is not agree. wt should i do?

Question

after my second delivery i developed certain complications. so i can not concieve anymore now. i m desperate to have more. i find adoption the best solution. but i am not able to convince my husband.

Answer 1

My parents adopted a third child only because they couldn't have another baby naturally - The adopted baby is me. It worked for them, because they had two sons then got a daughter.

Have you considered asking your husband why he is so against adoption, and have you tried having a third child naturally or do you want to adopt a third child, any particular reason why you're set on adoption?

I'm sure he has his reasons, discuss it with him. It'll take time, and he may change his mind or he may never change his mind.

Answer 2

As with a decision about any child both parents should be equally committed.

Every child should grow up with the parents in their lives on the same page.

In an ideal world each child would be the planned and desired outcome of an intentional decision made by committed parents.....

Answer 3

First off, you should learn to type correctly. Do you want your kids to write like that?

Then, try and see it through his point of view. Children are expensive and the adoption process is complicated and expensive. Maybe you should think about it make a list of reasons why and why not. You could show it to your husband.

Answer 4

I also have 2 biological children and would have liked another. My husband has an adopted sister and is dead set against the idea of adoption, stating that she caused problems in their family (I think it had more to do with his sister's personaliity rather than the fact she was adopted). We can't agree so the adoption issue has been dropped, you really have to agree on this and if you can't, don't adopt. Your relationship is more important.

Answer 5

Go to the animal shelter and adopt a puppy for the two kids that you do have.

Answer 6

I absolutely believe you need to both agree. It is certainly necessary to agree on having another child and it is even more important to agree on adopting a child into the family. Having a child is stressful and adopting a child adds new stresses and it is absolutely essential that both parents agree with the idea and the plan. I would also not try to convince him -- he may end up "agreeing" just to get you to stop pestering him even though he doesn't mean it. This will hurt all of you in the long run. Sorry. Enjoy the family that you have and find something else to use your emotional energy.

Answer 7

Learn English first off

Then drop the idea - if you both can't agree - end of story

Answer 8

You should both agree on this.

Answer 9

Drop it.  Both parties have to be 100% about it and not pushed into it

Answer 10

Both Parents must agree to have children biological or adopted

IF he does not agree then please dont do anything. Besides Adoption services wont allow it anyway.

Why dont you have another bio child ?

Answer 11

You should both agree before you have a child, adopted or not. It will affect both of your lives equally, and having an adopted and biological children could cause all sorts of rifts and problems within your family.

Answer 12

that is both you and your husband to decide unless your trying to force him into it which is wrong ,be happy with what you,v got there,ry many out there would love to have what you have .

Answer 13

Unless your husband agrees, you can't adopt.  I guess be happy with the 2 kids you already have and volunteer to help others or to raise money for kids in health crisis.  Offer to help a mom who has a disabled child.  Lots of stuff you can do that doesn't require having more children.

Answer 14

You both have to agree or no reputable adoption agency will say yes.  And if he is not on board you woudl not go ahead wiht a biological child woudl you?  You have to be in agreement or it is no go.  So either talk to him more and try to understand where he is coming from and both of you reach an agreement and then if it is no, then grieve your idea and move  on.

Answer 15

I can only tell you what I would do-  but if your husband never comes around to wanting to adopt, please consider not adopting.    Why do I say this?   Not because adoption is not a good idea, I am all for it, I am adopted and have 2 adopted children- however, if he is not on board, he could very easily favor his biological children over your adopted child. Not good!!

Answer 16

Hi Alsica,

When it comes to most things in a marriage, compromising is very important.  When it comes to adopting children however, there is no compromise.  The couple should not adopt unless they are both wholeheartedly onboard with the desire.

There are two reasons.  First it is not fair to the child to bring him/her into a home where he/she is not wanted by both parents.  That child would be better served in a home where both parents are eager to love and accept him/her.  The second reason is because if one spouse goes along with the idea just to make the other one happy, then resentment could build up that could cause problems for their relationship as well as for the whole family.  Men have different reasons.  If he does not want to adopt a child, perhaps he would still be open to having another biological child with you?

I'm sorry, but if you are going to stay with your husband, adoption should not be part of your future plans as long as he feels that way.  I think social workers would agree with this, and they will interview both of you extensively before they will approve a homestudy.  Good luck with your family.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 17

It's a difficult situation, but both of you need to be 100% in agreement to adopt.

Answer 18

Listen to your partner. There is no I in team.