I just adopted my third they are al adopted my little boy will not sleep he misses birth mom he is 6 months?

Question

I got him 4 days ago he has two adopted children he his half koren/american we adopted him from korea Help

Answer 1

Your son has not had enough time to adjust. It's only been four days and he had that very long plane ride, time change/jet lag, new sounds, new language, new smells, new clothes, new everything. It takes about 6 months for them to totally adjust. He is probably over stimulated and needs some down time.

The best thing you can do for him is limit the exposures he has to anyone but you and your family. He needs to learn to trust you. He needs to feel safe and secure in the environment in which he lives. If that is constantly changing (going to the market, friends house, play dates, showing him off to everyone, park, etc) he will not relax and begin to trust you.

When I returned from China with my daughter it felt like some one had slipped me a mickey for 5 straight days (jet lag). I couldn't sleep at night which was a good thing because my daughter was also adjusting to the new time zone and not sleeping well. Once I started sleeping through the night she continued to wake up and was frightened when she woke. I slept in her room to be close to her when she did. Eventually, she would wake up, touch me and then go back to sleep. Eventually, she started sleeping through the night. It took a good 6 month to get her totally relaxed and able to sleep through the night.

Was he with his birth mother prior to the adoption or was he in an orphanage? I would think it would be an orphanage or a foster home rather than his birth mom.

Answer 2

Give him time.  He has been through so many changes.  First, his birth mom gave him to you, then he moved across the world to a new home where people are speaking a different language, there are different smells, sounds, etc.  His entire life as he knew it is gone and has been replaced with something foreign to him.  He had 6 months to bond with his birth family, give him a chance to bond with you.  When he cries, go to him, meet his needs and be there for him during this confusing time.  Soon he will realize he is not alone and he is safe.  As he gets used to his new life he should start sleeping better.

Answer 3

in about 2 months you will be mom the only mom the child will remember . be calm loving and kind.

Answer 4

u answered one of my questions will u email me at [e-mail]

Answer 5

My guess would be that it has less to do with missing his birth mom and more to do with having a lot of big changes occur and not having a secure attachment to any one adult yet.  Everything is different for him - the smells, the sounds, the voices, the people.

  My advice to you would be to hold him a lot - get a sling and carry him with you as much as possible.  Help him to connect with you and come to know you as his mother, and as an adult he can trust.  Before you know it he will have adapted to your home and you.

Answer 6

that,s hard he will learn that your his mother now in time.

Answer 7

Love him, hug him, talk to him and smile. He'll come around

Answer 8

He still adjusting just give him time but he is young shouldn’t be as hard for him then if he were quite a bit older. Show him love and comfort, try to keep him on a farily good routine.  He’s in a whole new world, with people around him he barely knows, yet knows the faces he saw for 6months of his life are no where to be seen. Since he was living in Korea the language is different to him.

Answer 9

Why not spend time bonding with your new son and comforting him in his grief rather than asking question after question here on Yahoo?

Answer 10

There may be no worse feeling than feeling like you can't comfort your child.  Of course your son is adjusting to a major change, including a time zone change.  Your best bet is to keep him on a consistent schedule (eating, sleeping, etc.) to help him adjust.  Also, give him lots of love (which I'm sure you're already doing!).  Read to him, sing to him, rock him.  He will get used to your sounds and smells.  Congrats on your new little one!

Answer 11

We adopted both of our children from Korea too, what agency did you use? Was he born before the new rules took effect? Our youngest son was born in November.

It took both of our sons weeks (months with our oldest) to get adjusted to sleeping once they got home. First they are on completely different time schedules, during the night here it's daytime in Korea. Also, babies usually sleep with the foster parents rather then in a crib, so it 's hard for them to get use to sleeping alone, try either putting the crib or playpen next to your bed, or sleeping in his room for a few nights.

I'm a little confused though, the babies in Korea are usually  relinquished by birthmother soon after birth, and cared for by foster parents (or in some cases children's homes) until they join their adoptive families.

Answer 12

At six months how do you know he misses his birth mom?

It could be the change in environment is just too much for his little brain to process.  You need to make sure the different formula/foods you are giving him are not upsetting his stomach, and give him lots of love.  It is hard for grown ups to sleep in different environments, it is worse on babies.

Answer 13

He's adjusting to a whole new family with new routines and a different environment. Babies thrive on routines at this age, and stress when it changes (ie adoption). Give it a month or more, and things will settle down. Congrats on your newly adopted baby! You sound like you're a great mommy!

Answer 14

Spend as much time with him as possible. Limit other friends and family visiting, and help him feel safe and comfortable with you. He is adjusting but will be just fine. If he just came from Korea, it is likely he misses many things since sounds, smells and sights which are all different here.

Answer 15

Such a big change may be stressing him out.  Just try to comfort him like you would other babies.  He will need some time to adjust and learn to trust you as his mom.