I just answered a question that asked about the bible, and it got me thinking about my situation... opinions??

Question

I am a christian individual who was raised in a faith which does not accept homosexuality as a correct way of life. I recently spoke to my bishop about my feelings in regards to other women, as I have only had on relationship that lasted more than a few weeks, and it was with another woman. He told me I am not g*y, that I transgressed and committed the sin of having relations with another woman, and that I have opened myself up to allow Satan to pull me further into the sin. He thinks if I do as the church requres of me, eventually I'll be "normal" and be married and all that other great stuff.

I was abused as a child, and raped as a child and as an adult. I don't trust men, I have always been more drawn to women emotionally. I have had a few boyfriends, but those relationships were all very superficial. How can I be sure the abuse hasn't turned me off men? (Going out and sleeping with one isn't an option to find out.) Am I g*y, or am I just really messed up because of my life experiences? At the moment, I'm really confused. Can anyone offer any advice?

Answer 1

I am a straight man.  I have had some awfully unpleasant experiences with women, but this did not drive me to have s*x with men.  Why?  Because sexuality is not something you choose.

You are attracted to women.  This is not because you had bad experiences with men, it's because you're not attracted to men and likely wouldn't have been even if you hadn't suffered as you did.  Your bishop is talking nonsense - the Bible was written in the Bronze Age, and we should not trust what it has to say about human sexuality over what we know now.

Answer 2

maybe its the pain you have had through the hands of man, most people who have been disappointed in life, women or man they end up wanting to be guys or lesbians.

it can be he other things that make you feel likes this towards man.

maybe you should try it  

Answer 3

Well... maybe you havent met the right man yet. Or maybe your g*y. This is something you have to figure out for yourself. Chances are you already have a good idea whats going on. When your all alone at night and you get to thinking and something inside of you wakes up and you start touching....

Are you thinking about a man... or are you thinking about a woman.

Answer 4

There are a few things at work. First of all Homosexuality is indeed a sin, and don't allow anyone to tell you otherwise. It goes against the will of God, and therefore it is sin. As that is the definition of sin. Opposition to God's will, which is holy. Holiness is the key.

So addressing your question whether you are g*y or not is a matter of your standing with Christ. Have you first of all acknowledged your sin before Almighty God, and repented to him. I mean truly repented to him. Now I must clarify repentance because all seem to have different understandings as to what that is. Repentance is a complete 180 degree turn from the previous road traveled. So have you asked for forgivness and have you turned away from that lifestyle?

Then have you accepted Jesus Christ as the Lord and savior, believing that he was sent of the father, his only begotten son, that he was crucified, died, was buried and rose again on the 3rd day, and that his blood covers your sin, and you have your name written in the Lambs book of life, giving you access to eternal forgiveness from sin?

Now I ask this all because, not to lecture you on this subject but to understand where you stand. Because if you've answered no to any of these questions then you must go back to the beginning, get it correct, study the word, become saved, and then try it again. But if you answered yes you are indeed not a homosexual.

But what you must understand is that the enemy will tempt you with those desires. For how long only the Lord knows, but he will do it. But your job is to resist him, and his attempts. Because the word says to resist the Devil and he will flee from you. That means that he will run away from you in terror, and trembling.

Don't give in to the feelings of your flesh, because the end thereof is death/eternal seperation from God. There are many things to tell you but not all should be put in this forum. The word will lead and guide you, as the spirit of God moves on you.

As for your previous life experiences, if you are in Christ then you are a new creature. And all of the old things have past away, meaning they are dead, and all things have become new. So you have different desires, different needs, and the old feelings you used to have, artent true they are a lie by the devil, attempting to lure you back into a life of sin, and to resurect that old woman, and bury the holy one. Its your  Job to resist his lies.

And know that you have much at your disposal, meaning many weapons which will aid you in your spiritual battles. I.E.: the word of God, the spirit of God, Faith, Fasting, and best of all prayer. These tools were given to you by the Lord that you may have victory in all your batttles as he did?

Grace and peace may the Lord grant you, and keep you in the faith even when you don't want to be kept. In the Name of Jesus the Christ, who is indeed the Son of God.

Answer 5

I am a muslim g*y who was raised in a faith just like you. However, I can't understand why God created g**s and forbid them from having legitimate relations?I hate to do anything against my faith but I don't know what to do

Answer 6

I don't think it will happen by itself.  Most survivors of abuse need help to recover.  You'll need to work at recovery from abuse first and you will need professional guidance.

You mentioned you are Christian and there is a big umbrella site Exodus that could be helpful to you.  They have courses, testimonials, support groups, access to counselors and no end of support.  Please google them.  You'll be relieved I'm sure.

Good luck to you.

PS recent studies have shown that g*y men and women report a significantly higher rate of childhood abuse than the norm.  

A 2001 study found that 46% of homosexuals and 22% of L*****n women reported homosexual molestation in childhood. This compared to childhood homosexual molestation rates of only 7% of heterosexual men and 1% of heterosexual women.

Tomeo, et al. Archives of Sexual Behavior Vol. 30, 2001.

Answer 7

As a Christian g*y man, I'm here to tell you that yes, you can be g*y and Christian.  The decision to do so is not up to your Bishop or any other heterosexual.  It's up to you and God.

Being g*y or bisexual is not something one chooses.  You are or you are not.  No one can tell you what your sexual orientation is and it's not caused by events in your life.  Sexual orientation is based on attraction.  Are you physically and mentally attracted to the same s*x?  Can you completely love a member of the same s*x to the point where you would commit to that person and be with her forever?  If so, you are g*y.

You need to revisit counseling.  There are two issues here.  One is your lingering effects from the abuse and the other is your sexual orientation.  In what ways, if any, they overlap can only be discovered through professional counseling.  

You deserve a happy life and the ability to love the person of your choice.  Not your Bishop's choice, but YOUR choice.  Do not get recruited into any "ex-g*y" scams as they don't work and can cause harm.  (See truthwinsout.org)  Pray and ask God to send the Holy Spirit to guide you and seek counseling.  Good luck and God bless you!

Answer 8

Wow, that's a tough call, and one that no one should be comfortable making over the internet. Have you gone through any counseling after the rapes? There is absolutely nothing wrong with homosexuality, it's a natural occurrence in many different animals and helps bond communities and stop violence.

Animals other than humans have homosexual s*x and they certainly can't accept satan into their hearts so how is the behavior any different in humans? You should spend some time with someone you know who isn't religious and discuss this with them. You should never feel guilty about your sexuality and you really need to look at this from every angle.

Answer 9

Sweetheart...im so sorry for the things you have been through and the pain you have felt. I wish i could give you a big hug.

I think you might just be a little bit confused, you obviously feel afraid of men as a result of your abuse and that is sooooo natural and sooo common its ridiculous.

Statistics are crazy on what results from child abuse, absolutely everyone suffers as a result of sexual abuse, they go one way or another, either withdrawn from physical contact as you have, or promiscuity because subconsciously they think theyve already been violated so it doesnt matter if they do all the time.

homosexuality cannot be caused from such experiences.homosexuality is physical as well as emotional, so, though you feel emotionally closer to women (for obvious reasons) you may not be physically attracted.

as with heterosexuality, your sexual desires are a result of hormones affecting not only ur body but ur brain, g*y peoples chemicals are different from heterosexuals,so its whats in ur body to begin with, ur born with these chemicals, they cannot be produced as a result of abuse.

look bak as far as you can, when u were lttle, did you have crushes on boys? or girls?

thats the real way to determine, because as a chld you are unaware that your crush on that guy or girl is wrong...

i dunno i hope it sorta helps

do some research about abuse on the net

research homosexuality aswell

Answer 10

Go back to your Bishop and request counseling through family services.  You have a lot of issues to work through and most Bishops are not trained in this area.  You will need to decide weather you are truly homosexual or emotionally traumatized by your past and you need professional help to sort that out.

Answer 11

It could be either or. I'm not religious at all, and to be honest, in my opinion, try to leave religion out of this because it seems to always interfere in your decision.

I can understand why you would be more inclined to women emotionally.. But I really don't think that it makes you a L*****n. I've been with a few girls, and in fact, I'm dating a girl right now, yet I still don't consider myself a L*****n... not even a bisexual, really. I'm just exploring the field, and that's okay.. after all, I'm only 19, anyway.

Have you ever liked a guy? Ever had feelings for anybody? It may just be a trust issue.. even if you ARE g*y, your childhood events definitely have to have affected you in some way.. You must have lost trust in all men and it may be a psychological thing that, aside from trying to figure out your sexuality, you should get help for.

There's really no right or wrong answer. If you're g*y, you'll know eventually.. or so they say. Like I said, I don't even know myself.

Do get some kind of therapy though! I wish you the best.  

Answer 12

you are not g*y or anything, but you are going too far. i dont think you are going to the right path.  think about it. this stuff gives you nothing at all. forget those stuff and think were you are going. research about different religions.  

Answer 13

Wow - it is so hard to think about not doing as a bishop says because he does have the mantel of God. I also was abused as a child, I did talk to my bishop about it too. I left there more confused than ever. What I have done is spent hours in prayer, time in the temple, and many many priesthood blessings. I still don't have a clear answer, but I feel calmer about it. One thing that my bishop said was that his brother is g*y and all he can do is love him, pray for him, and hope that he is happy with his choices.

One scripture that came to mind as I was reading your question was the one that states "Wickedness was never Happiness." If you can figure out what you believe, remembering that everything is not black and white even in religion, then you will be able to figure out if you are happy or not.

I have heard that a lot of the time when someone decides that they are g*y or L*****n (I know that many people think it is not a decision so don't come after me, I am just sharing what I have been told), they have been hurt really bad and have not healed yet. I don't know if that helps any, it is just something I have been told and is wasn't by any church member.

As for any advise I can provide, I would get back into therapy (preferably not with church services) to help work on this. Using church services you will be hearing what your bishop said. Going somewhere else you can get a more neutral opinion. Since you avoided this last time, it might help to open up this time.

I wish you the best luck!!!