I just can't seem to get along with my father and I don't know what to do anymore.

Question

There are so many things I can put here but I'll just stick to the basics.

I JUST CANNOT GET ALONG WITH MY FATHER!!! I don't know what it is, but it has lasted for years. Even after I changed, even after I stopped giving him the random attitudes I gave him in elementary school, anytime I say one thing he doesn't like he erupts into anger. Screaming, threatening, name calling, everything (I should note that my Dad has the type of personality where he will make "jokes", often mean ones, or he will say mean things and then use the excuse that it was just a joke. He provokes me all the time, but I usually catch myself). I just cannot deal with this fighting anymore, it is mentally and physically draining and making me a depressed, lonely, and withdrawn person. My sixteenth birthday is in a day and this is not how I want the rest of my years at home to be like. All I want is to have a good relationship with him, why can't he just understand that teenagers sometimes have an attitude (and I hate saying that, too, because it sounds like an excuse). I have changed so much over the past years and have stopped giving my Dad a constant attitude completely. But now, no matter if I am joking, am upset with him, or whatever, it ALWAYS ends in fighting. Tonight, he threatened to move out, and my Mom threated to split our family up if I cannot get along with him. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! It seems like every little thing I say is a bomb. No one listenes when I try to explain either, and I don't have anyone to talk to. Anyone, please give me any advice you have.

The weird thing is, though, that we do frequently get along very well.

P.S. I apologize if this makes me sound like a whiny teenager, I understand that others have it much worse. I'm just looking for some advice.

Answer 1

you should just keep to yourself and only speak when absolutely necessary. i understand it is terribly hard to do - and i am on your side - but something has to give and it has to be you at the moment.

dw - you can treat him like sh*t when you are older and moved out, pay it all back to him. but right now... shhhh quiet.

Answer 2

you all need family counseling to understand one another so you can have someone else get you all to communicate

Answer 3

Things are the same between me and my dad, he left when I was 5 though we just started talking 3 years ago he always said he hated me and would put me down in any way he could. Now we don't talk at all the last time I talked to him was to tell him I was pregnant I am 16 and have not heard from my dad in almost 9 months and I honestly like it lol. Maybe your dad doesn't know how to talk to you, sit down and tell him how it makes you feel with how he acts. Hope this helps.