I just eloped with my fiance of a year, and now I want to have a second ceremony, will people attend?

Question

I just eloped with my fiance of a year, and my parents and friends are very disappointed in me because i did not have the wedding they wanted, or "do it right" as they claim. I would like to have a second ceremony soon, with my friends and family there, but now is just not the right time, due to my husbands deployment next year and my school. WIll people attend when i do plan the wedding??? Or will they wonder "why am i here, if they are already married?"

Answer 1

Just have a reception.  Sorry, the do-over wedding is not a good idea.  What is done is done.  Yes, I would wonder "why all the fuss....they are already married."

Answer 2

My fiance and I are going to do that! He's being deployed very soon, as well. We are going to get married in a courthouse because we have no time to plan a big ceremony. When he comes back, we will do the ceremony. All my friends and family are very supportive of the idea (actually, they insist we have a ceremony when he comes home! lol!). I think it's a fine idea and I'm sure people will attend! Congratulations!!!

Answer 3

If people are pressing you to have a party they will attend. My uncle eloped, and then when they came back they let her parents throw them a big reception, because it was expected of her to have a big party.

I would recommend against a ceremony, because that might very well seem hollow, but a reception would be appropriate. If there isn't time to do it soon, throw a big anniversary party instead, don't try to make it a wedding three years after the fact.

Answer 4

Do NOT have a second ceremony.  Just have a reception or party.

They will understand the deployment absence and the long time period between.

Yes they will wonder what this is, since you are already married if you call it a ceremony.  If you want some sort of ceremony - do a repeat of your vows - but don't say that on the invitation.  Just have an invitation to a Reception for the Happy Married Couple.  That is about as right as you can get - since you decided to ELOPE.  

It isn't about pleasing your parents either ~ this was your choice to wed the way you did.  Just have a PARTY to celebrate with family & friends.

Answer 5

they should come.. i mean i would i plan on doing it id dec.. good luck with the deployment my fiance just came back from iraq

Answer 6

Do a vow renewal when it works well for you with a reception to celebrate. I bet people would come! If one of my relatives invited me to a vow renewal, I would definitely go.

Answer 7

are you doing this because you want to or so you won't feel like a disappointment to your parents and friends. they shouldn't be disappointed in you, they should be happy!!!!! it's very selfish of them even those things. it's your marriage, not theirs. if you want to have a ceremony, have one for you and your husband. if you don't, s***w 'em.

Answer 8

Why don't you just have a nice big reception with all your friends and family instead of spending the extra money on ANOTHER ceremony? You two did what you needed to do, your family will get over it.

Answer 9

my ex and i actually got married this way.  we were both catholic and most certainly wanted to get married in a catholic church.  his mom wanted it to be the church they went to and i wanted it to be the church my family goes to.  she went on to try to control other aspects of the wedding such as where to have the reception, colors, etc.  i got tired of dealing with her so we went to gatlinburg and got married.  we came back and had small non-denominational ceremony and a HUGE reception done the way we wanted it done.

if for some reason you can't do a second ceremony right now, why don't you do one when your husband gets back from his deployment?  kind of a vow renewal.

Answer 10

I wouldn't.

Skip the ceremony and have a reception. You already did the ceremony part. It's stupid to reinact it!

Answer 11

You made your choice, so you are already married. Throw an anniversary party for family and close friends, at your home.

Answer 12

You are already married.  You can't get married twice.  And I think vow renewals are not appropriate unless it is for an anniversary of at least 10 years.  

Do the party when you can.   Do not call it a reception---just a party.

Answer 13

I think as long as you do it soon that people will attend.  If you wait too long though it may become an issue of wondering why.  But since you eloped many people will be happy to share in your happiness and marriage (even if it has already taken place)

Answer 14

If I were you I would just have a reception.  Ask your family if they would like to have you a reception .  Then you could go ahead and have one.    I would have one as soon as possible. Because after it's been a while people will wonder why you're having one.

Answer 15

A celebratory party is fine...a re-do is not......unless you two eloped because he was being deployed almost immediately...but that is not the case....you chose to elope rather than have a family wedding, now you want the family wedding?

people need to learn to live with their choices...and make the choices far more carefully then they do.

Under these circumstances, a celebration party I would attend...a re-do? No.....I wasn't allowed to share in the 'real' wedding, so why would I sit thru a faux wedding....especially since the 'bride' and 'groom' are already married...