I just feel like I shouldnt bother living?

Question

Okay, I am a 15 year old girl, who I think im going through a really rough time. For a start, my boyfriend, who i love so so much, broke up with me on monday. Saying he just lost his feelings for me. I just dont see how you can love someone so much and want to spend the rest of your life with the one day, and then just in one day, lose all those feelings? I just dont get it. He says he just doesnt think he was ready, but he just doesnt really know why he doesnt feel that way.

We have still spoken this past week, and he is so sorry. But im so upset and hurt and heart broken.

Ive gotten about 17 hours sleep this whole week. And I have barely eaten anything since sunday. Like all i have had is 3 pizza singles, 2 bread rolls and a few little things..

I have had a bit of an eating disorder for a while though, like at least 9 months, I just dont really ever feel like eating. And now I just cant eat. I dont want to eat, I dont feel like eating, and when I eat I feel so incredibly sick.

Im on 5 feet tall, and I weigh about 36kg. Im only a small built person, but i know im underweight.

My parents split up when i was 3, my dad moved to Ireland (im in australia) and i havent seen or spoken to him since i was 3. He has sent me a few birthday cards over the years, but i just hate it, because i know my father doesnt care about me. He has promised me so many times to write or call me, and he never does.

My brother who is 18, has gotten in contact with him this year though. And i only found out on thursday. And my father has offered to pay for my brother to fly to ireland and go visit him later this year. Our dad has never paid child support or anything, and it turns out he owes us about $52,000, but he said he could never afford it. But he can afford for my brother to fly across the world eh?

Meanwhile, at home, im a moody S****y thing, and my mum is so sick of it. Im so sick of feeling like c**p. Now i never speak to my family. To top it off ive been constantly fighting with my best friend since i ever starting going out with my boyfriend cuz she was jealous that i had someone else in my life. Plus one of my close friends has decided, as soon as my boyfriend dumped me that she liked him!

I just, i dont feel like there's a point living.. Im miserable, im hurt, im overtired. I know i need food. But i just cant. I cant take it anymore!

I want to be happy, i want my dad to love me, i want to be able to eat. I want to get along with my family, i want my boyfriend back. I want better friends.

I just dont know what to do? I want to speak to lifeline or something because i just need to talk to someone. But i dont want to call, so i will just speak via. web tomorrow.

Answer 1

Okay...You could talk to me? I'm sort of in the same situation, but I never had a BF, and I don't wanna die. My father claims that my mother has all  the money, but he works, and she doesn't! He goes on 2 week trips to Vietnam, or Australia with my brother! Anyway, call your dad, and speak to him. Tell him how you feel. Don't think about your ex-BF, because that will only get you down. Concentrate on YOU (but don't be selfish-like, just focus on yourself) and you will learn to do other things, with other people. Do sport, because it will make you tired and hungry, and you will HAVE to sleep and eat. Do things outside, get fresh air! Speak to your friends, about the boy problems, and clear that up, so you can live life to the FULLEST.

Answer 2

I am soooo sorry that you are having a rough time of it. My dad left when I was 12 and it was the best thing that happened to me, he was pretty hateful to me...he liked my sisters just fine...I guess my point is that it could be worse, he could still be there and be a jerk.

Boyfriends come and go during the teen years, ever heard the saying "I had to kiss a lot of toads before my prince showed up."

I know that when I need to eat I don't think very clearly and things that normally wouldn't bother me seem like a big deal.

You are worth more than you are giving yourself credit...the point of living is learning and loving. You are doing those things and they aren't fun all the time but they will get better if you take care of yourself now. I called for a counselor when I  felt that way at 13. I told them how old I was and that I didn't have any money...I tried a few before one agreed to see me, I think it was because I had enough nerve to do such a thing...try it and see if you can find someone local. Your mum might just be relieved to drive you to the appointment. Try to have a bowl of ice cream and know that this too shall pass.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I understand that you are hurting but don't give up. Things will get better. All teenagers go through these sort of things. One day you're on top of the world the next day everything seems to fall apart but it won't last forever. You'll meet another boy that you will like and he'll like you, maybe it won't last forever but you will atleast have fun then the next boy will come along. You're too young to want to spend your life with any one boy right now. You should want to date different people to see what thats all about anyway. If you don't like your friends go out and meet new people, you are not obligated to anyone to remain friends with someone if you don't want to. About your eating disorder you really need to talk to someone if you can't get back on track alone. Talk to your mother or a teacher but you know you have to eat to live. Eat a little at a time if you have to just eat something. As for your father sweetie I'm sure he loves you and wants to see you. I'm sure he offered to fly your brother out to see him because he's 18, he don't have to ask your mother's consent now like he would if he was flying you out. Maybe he thinks your mom would say no. A lot went on between your parents that you don't know about but none of it was your fault and both of your parents love you. Contact your dad, talk to him. Tell him you want to see him see what he says. If it would turn out that your dad don't want anything to do with you look at it like you're better off without him. But don't close yourself off from your family, I know at times it may seem like they don't have a clue and they don't understand you but you have to give a little too. Go out and have some fun. Go shopping or whatever you do to have fun. Quit stressing over the little things. Soon your life will be wonderful again and you'll think man I wasted to much time crying over whats his name.  

Answer 4

girl, don't lose hope. always remember that everything happens for a purpose. don't get so upset with your boyfriend. he is not worth loving for, maybe someone else is for you and who knows, that someone else is more worth loving for, regarding to your family, all i can say is i am sorry for your story. i know that it is hard to live without the support of your family but you have to be strong. you have to face your problems with strong heart and strong personality. and one more thing is you have to eat, you have to continue living because you will just be hardened up if you don't eat. you have to show the world that you can face every problems that will come your way.. go on, be strong

Answer 5

Oh My Goodness.  I feel really bad for you.  But let me ask you a question.  Do you have both eyes, both ears, both legs, and both arms?  If so, do they all work properly?  The point I am trying to make is that if you are reasonably healthy, you have a lifetime of wonderful things to look forward to.  I understand about your father.  I had one of those.  He would not even  claim me.  But there were other really good people in my life.  And the most important in my life  is God.  I'm not going to get preachy, but try talking to him in the quiet of your room.  You can talk out loud or quietly.  After you have told Him your problems, ask Him to put his loving arms around you and ease your pain.  Do this a few times and see how much better you will feel.  The Father loves it when you lay all your burdens at His feet.  Please keep us informed of how you are doing.  I really care.

Answer 6

Wow sweetheart. You have so much to deal with at such a young age. I am sorry to hear that. Lets talk about the most serious problem first. Your eating disorder. You need to communicate with your mom and tell her about this. It is so important that you get professional help for that. There is no other way out. tell her how you feel about eating and beg her to get you help.

Your dad is thinking about you if he is sending you cards, but he needs to be more of a man and step up to help his little girl. Call him on the phone and tell him your eating problem. He may be able to get your mom moving to help. Tell him you love him and want to see him.

Your boyfriend isn't worth you being upset over if he says he doesn't feel the same way. I know how hard it is to break up with someone at a young age, but I promise you that you will have many guys fighting for your love over the years. You need to concentrate on getting well first. If your parents won't help you then talk to a school counselor. They will help you. Do you go to church? Talk to your minister. He may be able to help you also. You are not alone. You can always contact me through here if you need to talk. I am a dad of five, four of which are girls. Please talk to someone that can help you. God bless you and good luck.