I just found out I'm 4 months pregnant and I'm single!?

Question

I thought I had a miscarriage 2 months ago and I just found out I'm still pregnant, now four months. I don't think I can have a second trimester abortion, but I'm in a terrible situation. The father (my exfiance) and I broke up and last he knows I'm not pregnant. Towards the end things got pretty nasty and he became a complete jerk and I found out he is very manipulative. I don't want to tell him if I have this baby, but do I have to? I feel bad but I know he will make my life a living h**l and I dont want to be connected to this man in any way. Also, his father was in prison for having s*x with his daughter (my ex's sister) for 7 years and is now out and is part of the fathers life. The grandfather of my child molested his own child, and I don't want my child around him whatsoever! I know my ex would want his father to be part of our childs life and I wouldnt even be there to see what is going on. I dont see how I can have a baby and go straight into a custody battle with my ex!

Answer 1

Ethically/morally you have to tell the father.  I know it sucks, but it is the right thing to do.

You need to also, before the baby is born, set limits and boundaries, making sure that the baby is NEVER EVER alone with your exes father.  If you have to get a court order to do this, DO it.  

Your ex has every right to be part of your (and his) child's life.  You cannot deny him this nor should you both for your sake and the child's.

Answer 2

Gurl juss don't worry about it!!...You your self can be the babies father, mother, and grandfather..... If I was you I wouldn't want nothing to do with the the babies (father) side of the family becuz they're NASTY!!....And if you don't have nough money and need help supporting the baby you can make the father pay child support!!......

Answer 3

Oh my hun,   thats a heck of a situation.  In my opinion i would stay away from him and his family.  Its for your childs sake and if they are actually registered s*x offenders then the courts know this and they will not allow them near your child.  Please hun dont abort your baby   yes its tough on your own but you will make it through.  I hope you have a loving caring family who is standing behind you.  Stay strong and good luck.

Answer 4

Your ex's dad probably has restrictions to his parole/probation...such as he cannot be around children.  If you aren't ready to have a child and want to put the baby up for adoption you have to tell the father.  If you prefer to raise the baby yourself....I'd fall off the face of the earth and wouldn't leave any contacts.  If the guy has raped once he'll do it again.  What's morally right...depends on who ya ask.  I wouldn't judge you if you didn't tell the guy.    What's best for your baby?

Answer 5

You do not legally have to tell him... in most states, as long as the baby has your last name and a father is not listed on the birth certificate, you are the only parent to that child... he would eventually have to get a court order for a paternity test to have any rights (and that's only if he found out you really had a baby... I WOULD NOT tell him, and stay away from him! Trust me, I know it's hard to do it alone, but your little one is all that matters now!

Answer 6

don't tell him you're pregnant. his family is disgusting and he probably is too. you don't want ur baby around that family

Answer 7

its really up to u if u dont want ur ex to see ur kid u would probaly get custady anyway cause of his dads previos.

Answer 8

if you want child support, you will have to tell him. Then he might want to see the baby and be in its life.

if you don't tell him, you are on your own money wise.

Answer 9

Well, he may act like he wants to be apart of the child's life, but if you have it...there is a possibility he wll disappear with the wind.  People say things but don't follow through with them.  Stay positive.  There r ways to keep his father from the baby due to his history of molestation also...

Answer 10

If you care about your child, top priority should be to take care of yourself and this baby. Whether or not you tell him you are pregnant is up to you. Its likely he wil find out anyway, by other people,etc. I definelty wouldnt want the grandfather involved either considering his past, and although you may not want to accept it, it is your ex's baby and he has the right to be in the baby's life. Best of luck to you!

Answer 11

Wow, in that situation I definitely would not tell him, as cruel as it sounds in normal situations I wouldn't put him down on the birth certificate either - but this is no ordinary situation as I would not let my child be around a convicted peadophile or anyone that associates with one, no way in h**l...