I just found out my 13 yr old girl has been making out i really don't know what to do ?

Question

he is my son's friend and lives right down the street and comes over to "hang out" with my boys but they were caught in the woods kissing i tried to play it cool and not blow up because i want her to tell me things at first she lied about it but later told the truth i want to keep that relationship going so i acted like it wasn't that big of a deal like i really feel it is i have a son that's 14 and another 12 and haven't had to deal with these issues with them yet so it's a first for me as a parent and not sure how to handle it she has already lied and did things behind my back and i don't want her to do other things or get pregnant i'm really scared and don't know what to do please help if you can and all advice will be considered

Answer 1

the lieing is a problem.  you got to fix that.  she has to be able to tell you the truth.  If you feel like you are overreacting, then go read some of the questions from the 13 year olds who are preagnent and asking what to do about it.  Go be a mom.  These poor girls obviously didnt have one who cared like you.

Make sure you let her know you arn't that worried about the kissing, but they lying is a problem.

also, try and think about why she felt she had to lie to you?  You really need to work on your relationship.  

And yeah, give her that talk.  scare the c**p out of her.

good luck.

Answer 2

ok, i cant understand what your saying. that as a mother you are worried about your little girl

but speaking as a teenager (who was 13, 4 years ago) i can honestly say that you can relax. when i was 13 i had kissed boys, and that was as far as it went at that age. it wasnt until i was 15 that i went anny futher than that. and thats just life! im sorry that its probably not what you want to hear. but shes matured. it doesnt mean shes goig to go off having s*x and getting pregnant, but shes old enough and mature enough to kiss boys and to be honest about it.

the way you dealt with her was correct. i never spoke to my mother about anything like that becuase i didnt want to judgement. but if you can deal with it as a fact of life and have open conversations with her and tell her she can always come to you then everything will me just fine

dont whatever you do stop her from seeing boys, trust me she will rebel and thats when you could have problems

let her know that your on her side and not against her on this (im not saying encourage her,, but dont discourage her either)

your boys may or may not have kissed girls etc. and they may not have told you about it. but thats fine too, your kids are growing up and its time to let go of there hands and only offer guidence when you feel in your heart it is needed

best of luck xx skye  

Answer 3

first of all don't panic!

around this age all girls go a bit like this =) she may not have told you as she feels like she may not be able to talk about intimate issues like that, and lied as she was trying to cover it up. and she may still feel uncomfortable with it herself and maybe even embarrassed

maybe try talking to her about your first kiss and boyfriends etc. if she is comfortable about talking about that sort of stuff then she will most likely tell you what happened. plus it will make her realized that it has hap pend to everybody . the most important thing is to make sure that the conversation doesn't feel forced and make it very casual

make the topic more of a laugh and talk about your own experiences about when you where her age soon you too will be talking for ages =)

hope this helps and just make sure you dont blow things out of proportions, just remember it was only a kiss not anything further - if you trust her and she trusts you then she will consult you before it goes any further

gd luck

Answer 4

it's normal for 13 year olds to make out, you shouldn't be worried unless they take it any furthur. you don't need to give your daughter "the s*x talk" or anything because all they're doing is making out. its silly that she had to lie because she's not doing anything wrong, and the reason why she probably lied is because she got the impression you weren't happy with her.

be happy for her. also you know the boy so it's not like she's doing it with some randomer.

Answer 5

im 15 years old and i will tell you that she is just curious and if they like each other let them, because if you dont you and her relationship wont be the same. same thing happened to my sister and my mom "blew up" and they are on 2 different  worlds they hardly talk to each other any mre and she's only 15. just tell her that your not mad and that you really dont wanna see it again (nicely) but if they want to be together let them

Answer 6

Oh, so tough.  Have you had "the talk?"  If not, its time.  If you have, it would NOT hurt to reiterate.  Choose your words very carefully, and try to avoid saying, "don't or do not," as that's just a set up for rebellion.

Try to explain you know how she feels and you understand the issues involved.  Also, since you have sons, she's lucky!  She has some insight into how teenage boys talk about/treat girls.  You're right in wanting her to come to you first, but she has to trust you.  She needs to know you won't judge her.  Please, please tell her about birth control, STDs and how you do not need penetration to get pregnant (or STDs).   This information is not permission to have s*x!  The more informed she is, the more she knows what's at stake when its decision time.

I know this is very personal, but if she shows any interest at all of getting on birth control, try to consider it.  Trust me, its much better than the trauma of teenage pregnancy.

Also, her brothers are an example to her.  Make sure they know what disrespect behavior towards women is/looks like.  That way, if they see anyone mistreating their sister, they can help her.

Answer 7

if you are scared that she will get pregnant put her on birth control and give her condoms. but if you are scared that that will send her the wrong message then dont give her condoms just do birth control for now. sit down and talk to her. you are her mother and i know that you know that she is a smart girl and tell her that if she is smart she wont do it until she is ready to take responsibility for another human life.t tell her that if she does have s*x and gets pregnant you will NOT let her get an abortion, she will HAVE to carry the baby and GIVE birth to it. thats what scares me, im 14 and im not having s*x because i dont want to give birth or raise a child at my age, and i wouldnt have an abortion either, its all too scary to even think about. good luck with ur daughter.

Answer 8

If it goes beyond making out then do something. Otherwise don't.

Answer 9

tell her to makeout in her room then you can tell if there is "more going on"

Answer 10

its all part of being a parent

she's 13

and she is going through that stage

see maybe thats why she lied to you

because she knew you would freak out

its just kissing after all =...

Answer 11

shes 13. im really tired of everyone thinking 13 year olds are babies and should be playing with dolls and such. it ticks me off. just leave her alone.

Answer 12

Nothing wrong with making out, i wish that i had gotten to make out at 13 as opposed to the boring sh*t i actually did at that age. Dont do anything.

Answer 13

if your so scared of what might happen then give her the talks

tell her the good the bad the ugly, the pros, the cons, tell her what guys will say to get in her pants, and how to be safe

stop being a wimpy parent , grow some balls and tell her i promise that she will do the right thing.

this site will help you:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-...

for a 18 female that wish her parents ttold her all this

Answer 14

just be glad thats all she's doing.

and talk to her. give her "the talk"

and explain to her what you think she needs to know.

but really, it was just kissing

Answer 15

so, just be happy shes not doing it with him...........~xoxo ally*

Answer 16

Keep that line of communication OPEN!!!  You need to be honest with her and let her know the truth about things.  You cannot sugarcoat life!  Let her know about what hormones do to kids her age.  Honesty is always the best policy.  That way, when she IS ready to go further, she will feel comfortable asking you to put her on birth control.  

Answer 17

mkay..let me tell you the truth...i know you want this "relationship" to go on.but shes not going to tell you everything she does..she is prob scared that you will totally freak out and not let her go anywhere..but at the same time..she is 13!!..she is curious!!..her hormones are running wild right now..now as to tell you what to do..i would say..its not that big a deal..its just kissing..but still ..i dont think she should be allowed to have a boyfriend at 13..i mean that still is pretty young..i think you should tell her the consinquenses, and talk to her about s*x..and stuff..now i wouldnt tell her that 'all guys are the same, and they are only after one thing'.now that may be true..but it doesnt apply to all guys..just inform her..about her body..and s*x..and boys..about everything..cuz if you dont tell her anything..and try to protect her..like my mom did..that will just make her want to know more..and she will go out and find out that stuff on her own..and if she "found out" anyway that i did..i know that you would not want your daugter to find out like that..but yea..i think a reasonable age to start going out with a boy is 15...so..yea..just know that your 'relatonship' with your daughter will not last forever..she will not tell you those kinds of things..and just dont freak out..if you dont freak out and talk to her calmy..she is more likely to come to you and ask you questions..  

Answer 18

set an age limit that is appropriate for her to part take in those activities with boys. give her frightening examples of girls who got pregnant that started with making out. tell her about all the diseases you can get from just making out. how old is this girl? and above all, dont be afraid to yell at her, discipline is important

Answer 19

If she knows that you're chill about her being with boys, it will be more likely that she will tell you things. She's probably just nervous about how you would react if you told her the truth.

Tell her that you think she is responsible enough, and that you trust her enough with this. Of course, give her "the talk", and talk to her about not giving in to pressure.